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okay so me and my ex have been friends, and we hang out almost every day. we are also getting laid and idk he lays in my bed and rests and always tells me to come lay next to him and such,but we never kiss goodbye or when we see each other.. it was all very nice and we had these lovely deep looks when we were out -also with friends.. then me and him talked two days ago about this friends with benefits thing we have right now and went a little too deep in talks. He asked me if i think we would function better as a couple, or just as friends with benefits.I didnt answer, I said im not sure… I wanted to think abut it, but ofc i do think we would function better as a couple(he doesnt know that)..he thinks opposite right now.. and..and now he acts bit cold. How do i deal with it, so we get closer again and that he gets that good feeling without needing to distance himself? And a day before this talks we were texting and we agreed that we go out on a day road trip together in other side of the country.
i was thinking about telling him, that i would like to see that we have another try, cause i know what i did wrong and i have learned from my mistakes. but not sure if that’s smart to do.If he’s not ready to get back together and you ask him too, you pretty much forfeit any chance of getting him back. Since you’re friends with benefits, he has absolutely no reason to get back in a relationship with you, since he feels like he could date anyone he wants and you’ll still be there. I’d say it’s impossible to rekindle his feelings while you two are sleeping together, and it’s unlikely without NC. Your best chance is to ask for space and make him be the one that has to chase you.
ok i see, then i should not say anything. well yeah, but he doesnt want to date actually lol he said he wants to be free and we agreed on not seeing others if we r like this… thank you for advice and oppinion. but we drive to work together so its not possible to do NC & as i know him if i will ask for space he will be sure i still feel for him and then he will disappear and wont want to be near me so i definetly cant do that. i just came home, he called me for going on a coffee and yesterday he came to my place tho he knows im on…the girl thing xD lmao,but he is still around, idk does that mean anything? I will let him alone and when he will want to reach out then he will. We have a “date” this weekend anyways i hope it will go well 🙂
&thanks againI agree with tighem. Why would he feel the need to get back? You give him everything. Good luck for the weekend
idk, actually honestly said i think i am the one who cares more for doing it than he does…we both have needs not just him lol. the problem isnt the s**, because before saturday we had that spark and chemistry and him acting all sweet and softly pinch my cheeks and nose and i kept playing it cool and he looked at me like he did when we were together and he just keept staring at me all the time and tried to talk to me and all..i felt that his feelings are getting awake and alive again.. but deep talks on friday made it a bit weird, i should know better than have those talks after this short time..but today was ok, he even mentioned that yesterday we fell asleep together in my room and how cute it was. he just came over to talk and hang out nothing else.
and ofc he needs time to consider if being with me is a good idea, since i was limiting his freedom and being clingy and making him stressed out and my behaviour… i dont mind if it takes me time, but he already sees i am different(our mutual friend told me that) and i think that is what he wants to see first. my improvement. god i dont know. i think having s** wasnt the wrong decision, maybe for this plan, but he didnt have any girl for over a year he doesnt care for it and it was my idea that we do it. he does me a bigger favour than to him actually lol.
Kaila, how are thing with you going?any good news hopefully?
I wasnt talking about sex only. Support, and fulfilling his void for affection also counts.
Well….. he just untagged himself from a pic he put up with me when we were together. But didn’t erase it. I don’t understand why… is he slowly untagging and then will erase? I guess that means these almost two weeks of no contact are pushung him farther? He didn’t do anything to our pics in a month and a half. Why now? 🙁
ah okay i see. Oh well, i am not acting like being affective,but okay supportive ofc he still is a friend. I am the one who keeps it cool . tho I do send a text first, but only because i have to ask him for driving to the market to buy drink for weekends when we drink together or tobacco if he can bring me some while he goes get it, and what does he do? he comes and asks to come too or says i will pick you up, while i say to bring it for me and i give him money after he comes back. but outside with friends i talk to others more than him and he always comes around to talk to me.. ofc i am friendly and all but i dont put him as a priority in our group of friends.
Oh really? hmm it could be positive or negative reasons. it might be that it is just a way that he could get ur attention so you start writting to him? or on the other hand it could be as you said.. tho NC usually doesnt push them further away, it just gives them time to calm down and think less of bad memories and for you it is more for healing and focusing and improving yourself.
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