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Posts
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No I didn’t reply. I’ll text her tomorrow. Wish her good luck with the exams and that we will see each other next week. Hopefully she doesn’t text before that. I want to get that in first. Will be the first text I’ve sent in a long time
Sounds like a good plan man, I hope it works! She sounds very keen, you can do this!
She does sound keen. But I won’t get carried away. That’s a few times she has said that she is looking forward to it.
I wish she’d step up and tell me what she’s feeling. You know I can’t remember what she looks like in person now already? I see photos of her and think yes that’s her, but I can’t imagine her in front of me. I cry every single fucking night, and every morning.
Hello Charlie. I was at the gym then on the phone.
I’ve to jump in the shower and I’ll reply then.
Hey. Hope you are feeling ok. This is torturing you isn’t it.
Do you feel like you have changed? Would you do things differently next time around?
I’d say you would.
If it’s causing so much hurt for her then go for the flowers. She was crying last week so maybe you both have done enough.When you feel like shit then think if what can be. And what can be can only be when you are strong.
Maybe send the flowers. Tell her that you know now where you went wrong. And meet her then that weekend that she offered. And win her back.
I’m going to text my ex tomorrow. Time is right I think. It’s now or never. If I didn’t wish her good luck for the exams then she would be very upset. I’ll text her around noon. Early so that she didn’t have to wonder all day.
Sorry for my delayed reply.
I would. I definitely would.
When you say “You both have done enough” what do you mean?
I’m trying to think like that. I’m trying. But people are giving me advice that doesn’t have the hope I find here. Saw my counsellor this evening, he thinks she’s trying to build a wall so she can move on with her chosen path. Keeping her distance as she knows she would find it hard not to come back now she’s walked away. Makes perfect sense really. This time I’ve taken makes me think I haven’t actually helped matters. Helped me sure, but I don’t know about us.
I think the photobook now won’t have it’s chosen effect when she sees me. Made up her mind and all that. She’s very driven.
What’s the latest at your end?
Hello. I meant that you both seem to have spent enough time working on yourselves. And by the sounds of it you both still miss each other. A lot. Could somebody not get the 2 of you together and bang you heads together?
My end? Where do I start? Christ almighty. What an odd day.
So I text about noon. Good luck with the exams. Bla bla. See you soon.
She text a string of stuff back. About a presentation and so on. And again that it would be really nice to see me.
I didn’t reply. Saw no need to.Then this evening all hell broke loose. She started texting that something had happened. She found something out from her past or something. She reckoned that she had nobody else to talk to. Just me. I want replying and she was getting super angry. So I thought what the hell. I text back. Asked what was wrong.
So she explained without telling me what it was because nobody could know but her head was all over the place and she was going to fail the exams and so on. Major drama!
So I told her to Meditate for 15 minutes. She had never done that before. She did that and thanked me a million times and said she was back studying and feeling much better. But if she felt really bad could I go over and help her? Sounds crazy she said but I’m the only one that could help her. That this is far worse than anything between us. So I said that in an emergency I could.And I’ve heard nothing since. 4 hours later. What the hell was she smoking? It might have been a load of rubbish but if so then it is completely out of character. Maybe it was a great to see if I would reply. If so then I failed. But the fact we are going to meet next week I thought made replying ok.
What do you make of all that? I wasn’t even that bad when I chased after her. Strange creatures these women.
Woah. I’d say you did it just right. She asked for you to help her and you did. Nice work.
See what happens next, definitely progress though. She will remember that moment man. You didn’t fail. Don’t regret making contact.
I wish there was someone to do that for us. Weird thing is with our mutual friends and commitments we have to be friendly, makes me think that’s what next Saturday will be about. I don’t feel good anymore. She’s always online, must have a lot to distract her. I don’t have much I guess. Life is pretty boring without her.
I think I did Ok. She never text again though. But I suppose she was busy studying and I haven’t been replying for weeks.
What about the flowers? Are you not going to do that?
Never mind what those around you are saying. Most always say give up anyway. If she is online (on what? Facebook?) Maybe it’s just gossiping. About You!Don’t give up man. Your time is coming. You have to be cool then. You just have to be. Show her what she is missing.
Look how crazy it’s gone on my side. And I still know nothing. If I was to guess then I would say that she is trying to tell me that he is gone. Long gone. And that I mean something to her. And she wanted to talk to me and not anyone else. That’s something. And she wanted me to call over. Glad I didn’t have to. Would have messed up the studying.
You should get ready to make a move Charlie. 6 weeks. How long have you been in minimal contact now?
She’ll be doing her work. I’m sure you remember what is was like when you were studying, the work load is almost insurmountable most of the time.
That guy is gone.
Tonight was a big reach out for you from her. It was good that you responded.
It’s been on and off for us. I couldn’t say honestly. I’ve spoken to her only once on the phone since we broke up, which is a month ago on Saturday. The texts haven’t ever been casual though. Last week after we agreed her visit (or I offered) we chatted about what date we moved out of our flat as she needed to tell the home office. Contact was better then, I should’ve taken note. Apart from that it’s been pretty minimal from her, only replying to my texts with nothing positive since we parted.
Feeling like not seeing her was a bad choice, it bolstered her decision last time. Worst part is, it’s done it for me too, and I don’t like it one bit. The distance is forcing us apart, and I can feel it with each day. Another week to add to it before I see her again. I text her Tuesday, nothing in return, not that there’s anything to say really. She’ll happily play no contact I think.
I’ll try and be cool, but seeing her face when I know what’s coming will probably break me. Maybe I’ll try and just enjoy her company one last time.
Charlie, I nearly broke my ex. She didn’t want me texting she said. We could never ever have a relationship again. Ever. That even though she told me she loved me at certain times towards the end, she didn’t mean it. She didn’t want me touching her. Don’t contact her family and friends. Maybe we could be friends one day. Just maybe. And so on and so on. That’s what I was listening to. You would think that I would have gotten the message. But no. I said I still want her the day she told me about the other guy. One would think that that would be the final straw.
But no. I found here. I went nc. And look at what is happening now. I will agree that I am not back with her and it might be nothing. It’s a strange nothing admittedly. But it’s a hell if a turn around from what came before.
Now you tell me when the moment is to give up hope?? I didn’t give up. Still haven’t. Just changed the direction of play. Tried to put the ball back in my Court
Your resolve is outstanding, I can say that much!
I really, really hope that it goes well for you. Have you thought about the impact it might have on you should things not happen that way?
I think that a lot. I’ve put myself in a certain position, and I know where I’ll be after we meet if it doesn’t work out. Right back at the start.
Problem is, I never got to beg and plead then do NC. I feel like I gave just enough to help her walk away, little bits of contact never fully saying how I felt. The most I did was to ask her to keep an open mind and consider our whole relationship (even said I find it difficult), then she replied saying it’s over. I replied saying I accept that, arranged a casual meet, then cancelled it. Then re-arranged.
The most I’ve had was her upset phonecall to my friend, even then she said “I thought this was over” or something to that effect.
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