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Posts
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Obviously you know your situation better than anyone else. There should come a time when you can say what you need to to her. I remember you were talking about a holiday together, do something special maybe. Woo her again. Take her somewhere, maybe even somewhere you used to go together. Meeting up is great, so do it in person. Surprise her with the tickets!
I want to think what you said, but we’ll have to see.
I tried a surprise the other day. She didn’t like it. Wasn’t prepared. I mentioned that i might go away. She answered with “but i can’t I’m working and my sister is due to give birth then”. That was some answer considering i didn’t ask her to come. She says things like that quite often now. Yesterday she spoke about getting out of the city and working in the country when she qualifies in 7-8 years. without me saying anything she said to me; “you’ll have to move out there too of course”. I just answered with; “i came from the country and I’ll go back to it”. I said i wanted horses. I never had horses but i know she loves them.
A problem with our relationship used to be this issue. I like the city but if i could choose somewhere to settle down with her it would be in the country. She was the opposite. How could she leave her home City etc? I used to say i left my country never mind just a city.
But now she has changed. Not sure exactly why. Just thinking now as i write whether she just said that to please me? Possible.
I was there again last night. She had a glass or 2 of wine and was really friendly and touched me when she could for no reason and stared at me with a smile when she could.I’ll keep on doing my thing. We haven’t text in 8 hours now which is a long time recently. I purposefully didn’t text yesterday for some time just to see. When she did text she wanted me over.
I don’t think that will happen today. She said that she hasn’t seen her friends in so long and wants to catch up as they are drifting a bit. That’s understandable. And she probably hasn’t told them that i am over at hers so often. she will think that they will think that she is a slut.
Anyway. That’s the latest. Do you follow horse racing Charlie? I don’t normally but Cheltenham is great.
Any more word from your lady? I’ve a good feeling about her. And from the way she is talking now it sounds positive.
I’ve been saying it about the distance thing for a while to you. You won’t get back together properly if she is in the big smoke and you are back in Hobbiton. Something has to give. Wrap a clean shirt and a few pairs of jocks up in a cloth, tie it up on the end of a stick, throw it over your shoulder and head for London.She’s taking it slow then. Understandable really. Take it slow too, it will all unfold.
Do you want to be more than friends with her? When she touched you on the arm, did you touch her back? Hold her hand when you go you go out somewhere. It sounds like she’s talking like you two are together again which is good, but you’re back at the start now. Presumably you would have hung out a lot before you were a couple so just enjoy that.
Careful with the word slut, it holds a lot of gravitas. Learnt that the hard way. I don’t think women think that way, nor do men with their head on straight. Her friends wouldn’t judge her at all if they’re good friends.
No more word on my end. Sent her a parcel, some sweets she likes and some bubblebath. It won’t have arrived yet. Ease the uni stress.
I do wonder about it all still. When we spoke last weekend she said she’d been writing me a lot of texts but hadn’t been able to send them as it didn’t feel right saying it by text. I don’t know what that means but I wouldn’t have thought anything good. The reluctancy to contact me is what’s confusing. On the other hand, there’s more signs that say otherwise. I need to be patient. Keep looking at the bigger picture.
Funny thing is day to day I don’t know how I feel now. Every time I get burned trying to arrange a meet it hurts a little. The lack of contact I do understand, but I do feel like she’s not trying if it is what she wants. Then again I also know she’s just as busy as anyone could possibly be, I know in her situation it’s just another thing to deal with right now.
The above sounds selfish. I guess it’s just that I still don’t have a definitive answer. That’s all I need. Just a yes or a no. If it’s yes I’ll happily wait for two weeks. If it’s no I can stop being messed around. I do believe she is my soul mate, but I have to respect myself otherwise I’ll go crazy!
I’ll move to London if it’s on. I don’t have anyone up that way apart from her, and my cousins.
I don’t follow the horseracing unfortunately! Not much of a sports guy, though I’m pretty partial to tennis!
Hey guys hope you are both well,
Sorry for my absence been busy on other things.
So I will give you both a quick update things are going ok I guess, so what’s happening is that she is texting me and I’m texting back and stuff she asked me the other day if I wanted to meet up I said Yh ok after I said that she immediately changed her mind I was like wtf you know.
I think deep down I’m being used as a beauty call don’t get me wrong I love the women and would do anything for her but I’m not going to be messed around so I sent her a text saying that if she wants to be with me then be with me not mess me around as friends, the reply I got was really odd I thought she was going to bite my head but she sent back saying I’m so sorry I love you and I don’t want to be friends anymore I want you back which is a bit odd as she was Sooo off the other day??
Strange right so I haven’t spoken about it since and haven’t replied to her texts as I wanna make sure she is gen as I don’t wanna get no then 2 weeks later she regrets it so I’m gunna wait a bit until we talk in person I think.
Of course i want to be more than just friends. She is very cautious. I feel if i get close and try to touch her she would flip. That’s the impressing i get. But maybe I’m wrong. If i try to kiss her or something and it is the wrong time or something then it’s all destroyed.
Dodgy to try that.
But you’re right. She is talking like a couple.
Although she text that she was finished work at 8 this evening. I asked if she got into any operations again. No she said. I text something else and heard nothing since. That’s a bit annoying. I’m guessing that somebody picked her up from work. Hence the no reply since. She would have continued texting until she met with whoever. That plays a bit on my mind too. Who picked her up and where are theY. Stupid thoughts. None of my business but hard to stop.Another thing that annoys me is the weekend thing. I forgot about this till now. Always wanting me during the week and never do anything together at the weekend when i could stay out late. That used to annoy me. And she hasn’t changed obviously. She has this idea that by texting me when she is out it’s like me checking up on her. Controlling. When it’s not. I think i need to pull back a bit. She is beginning to call the shots and she won’t change her bad habits that way. Going to be tough for me to do that.
As for your one, study time turns women nuts. She is talking like you are still together or that she thinks that this is just a break for a while to clear the air.
Don’t panic anyway. She will appreciate the parcel. Good thinking. When the exams are finished she will be up for meeting and you will learn a lot more then.Both of us can’t jump to conclusions and dream up nonsense. Like me right now dreaming up all sorts of crap about where she is. Or you when you wanted to beat the hell out of the mate in Portsmouth? because you thought she was there staying with him and she wasn’t.
crazy the crap we can convince ourselves of.
Time needs time. And i think we are learning that women are extremely complicated and leave them at it seems to be the way to go.Thanks Patrick. That was actually just what I needed right about now. She hasn’t been around at all today online. Tried to call her to see if she’s feeling better, phone is off/dead. Exam is finished now, makes me think she called off this weekend because she’s out tonight. I know the truth is that I actually have no idea.
I realised that none of that really matters. As you said, none of my business. So why I’m set back to this state I have no idea. Need to separate the two emotions, talking to her and my weakness.
In the Power of Now he mentions that women are naturally closer to that ideal mental state than men. Maybe that’s why they always seem one step ahead of us. I always feel like I’m playing catch up.
I think you’re in a good state of mind, so stick to it. You’re making the right moves. It’s still early says for you, but from where I am everything looks very positive. I’ve been sending good vibes!
I agree with the weinen being in a better mental state.
Men are frighteningly still cavemen when it gets down to it. we probably should still be fighting with each other to win the female.
I don’t understand them at all. Ha.She text there at 2 in the morning. Saying to enjoy my night. But I’m guessing that she was in a bar all evening that had no Internet connection and it only delivered now.
Hey Patrick, any news on your end today?
I spoke to her on the phone this morning, we ended up speaking for about 3 hours. We had lots of nice conversation, but it did get emotional for a lot of it.
Kind of disappointed with myself, we spoke last weekend and I managed to hold it together so I don’t know why I couldn’t do it this time. That being said, I don’t think I said anything I shouldn’t have, and I think we made headway overall. I find myself in a difficult situation as she says we have to have these conversations if we’re going to work things out. The way we talk with each other makes it feel like it isn’t over at all, but she is definite in her decision to not say yes or no to me. She told me that she can’t just get back together with me on the phone, when I said that I need an answer. Yes, and we work on things, build something new. No, and we call it a day.
She also said that she thinks I’m just waiting for us to get back together, like we never broke up. I told her she has no idea what it’s been like for me. After getting off the phone, it actually kind of made me a little angry. I made sure to tell her that I don’t want to get back together, I want to start something new.
I’m taking the honest route I guess. It’s who I am. I’ve never been good at pretending or playing games.
She said she misses me so much, but needs that to go away before she knows what her true feelings are. She said just a week after the breakup too. I said that surely if she misses me so much after all this time then it might be worth taking note of that rather than dismissing it.
She did say she wants to see me and have a nice day. Said she still loves me.
All very confusing. Bit shit, as I don’t feel I’m in the position of ‘being cool’ anymore.
Struggling this evening. Everything came rushing back up and hit me square in the face.
It’s just that I’d gotten past all that emotion. I was being strong and it felt like things were working. Kind of feel like I’ve set myself back by acting like I did. Nothing I can do about it now I suppose. I can only move forwards.
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