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Posts
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Thanks as per usual Patrick. Those are kind words. A friend and I are going on holiday end of March, some cheap sun. Wi be nice. I’m going to visit him this weekend now instead.
It’s so odd that she doesn’t open up to me at all though.
How do I go about tackling that one? That’s the clincher it seems. As you say perhaps there’s nothing to be done about it.
I think the clincher is to really be happy. Don’t pretend anymore.
I know this sounds impossible, but as soon as I started thinking like that it changed. I was thinking that I would have a good life. I will find somebody in time. I will do well for myself. And all the strange stuff from my ex is clearly the actions of a confused person. She made her decision. And by God she will stick by it.
So I stopped taking advice. Stopped bothering myself as much. Kissed drama girl. Didn’t feel anything after but managed to get her head over heels about me. Life moves on. And so must we.
And then suddenly things started happening.
I don’t know how much you’ve read about the laws of attraction. But they say that to get something you have to let go of it first. Believe that it will happen or sort of already has in the sense that the future is coming with that in it. But for now live life to the full.
This sounds hard. You don’t want to let go. She is a drug. Even a text gets you excited again. But she knows deep down that you haven’t let go.
That’s my thoughts. She can feel that you would come running straight away. You 2 had a true connection. So if you feel things about her. Then she feels things about you. Stands to reason. I’m telling you. When you start to let go then life will change so much and so quickly.
Remember Facebook. Do something this weekend. Drop a hint too about the holiday In a post.
Start to be wiser. Cuteness is needed. She had been ahead of you every step of the way.
Now you can use some subtle mind games. Not nice but they work. Don’t contact her. You know she will see the posts.
She might think back to this weekend now and her not going to meet you. She might think that was the moment that you gave up.But strangely, by doing these t things you will move on in a way. You won’t forget her. But you will open your eyes a bit and see the world.
My ex just text. She feel asleep as I was leaving earlier. Thanks she text twice. She is sick. I cooked. Progress but I’m not getting carried away. I’m thinking of other things.
We’ll have to see I suppose. Every time she texts I get so mixed up, you’re right. She’s giving up, so I have to as well. I don’t think she forgot about us maybe meeting up. She obviously made plans to do otherwise. Fair enough. The ‘I don’t know’ was probably just to try and ease off. I won’t contact her, but I would imagine the next message I’ll get is to end it all. Relationship status on Facebook and all that. That’s fine.
Or maybe not. Maybe she has work to do. Why she didn’t bother saying so says a lot though. I think so at least. Again I could be wrong. It won’t bother me now. I don’t have the energy to put my mind to it like this anymore.
It would be nice if she lived closer, like your ex. But she has a whole other life to experience now, that’s got to be a lot of closure for her in some way. Easier to leave behind. New friends, new town, plenty of work to pre-occupy her. Africa. London is a busy place.
She talked about still coming to see the cats. I don’t know if I could do that. I don’t know why she says she wants to pay for them, they’re not really her responsibility at all anymore. I know there’s only so long she’ll drive three hours across the country to see them. They live with me, and I take care of them. That’s obviously still part of her holding on. I know I won’t be able to be ‘friends’. I said that to her when we were still together.
You seem calmer, much calmer in your current position. I’ve wished the best for you, and will continue to do so. Sending good vibes. What a great opportunity to take care of her when she is sick. You are a kind man. I’d love those opportunities.
I also note that she has avoided me emotionally completely now. I apologised for how it all ended, and it wasn’t even acknowledged. Read about the distancing thing, some sites suggested someone else on the scene. Not actually worried about it if it is the case, funnily enough.
I found this site recently and it seems to take a different approach.
http://torontosnumber1datedoctor.com/blog/how-to-stop-your-exs-no-contact-rule/
I don’t whether asking her the question posed in the article is a wise idea, but I also don’t think it’s unfair to know where I stand right?
It’s a tough one to call Charlie. I won’t lie about that.
Something still bugs me though. The cats, no proper ending. I don’t think this is what she wanted.
Send that message maybe. If she wants nothing more then so be it. Goodbye
I think she saying she would like to see the cats may be an excuse if she wants to see you…
Would you guys read my post? I am really worried today a mutual friend said she was gonna talk to him to give him her perspective since none of his other friends deals with me on a regular basis. I am affraid he will say he doesn’t feel the same about me… although just two weeks ago he said he would like to get back but isn’t ready and doesn’t know when he will … https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/he-says-he-would-like-to-get-back-but/page/3/
Hello Charlie.
I’m back in Ireland. Just for 2 days. Back again on Monday, hence the silence here.
I met her 3 nights in a row. We ate and i looked after her when she was sick. I cooked etc.
I called Saturday morning and we spent the morning and afternoon together before i got my flight.She did phone him at one stage. I didn’t know why and it put me out a bit.
She text all that evening even when i got here saying how great everything was.
Sunday morning i woke up to about ten messages from her. All sorts of things. All good. She felt better she said. Then she said that she was meeting him. My thought process led me to wonder why. Why meet him. She said it was over.
So, stupidly i said i wouldn’t text and interrupt whilst she was with her boyfriend. She didn’t like that at all. Said i was walking on thin ice with that statement and stuff like that would nearly make her stay with him as punishment. But harsh i thought. But i realise that me mentioning him as a boyfriend after she said it was over may have dragged up old memories of my jealousy. They ended oddly and she had told me that she needed to end it properly. And he had to pick up something he left there.
That’s my logic thinking. Or my hope thinking. I hope she gave him his computer thing back and said the goodbye it’s fully finished.I heard nothing for quite a few hours and then this evening she text and thanked me again for everything and that she really wanted to meet as soon as I’m back.
So I’ll meet her on the way from the airport. I won’t go home first even. So that’s got to be a good sign? She wants to go swimming with me this week and shopping.
I’d hope that in the l long term he would disappear. He is an old school friend of hers so that might be difficult. But I’ve never met him so he was never that close.
So I’ll see what mood she is in tomorrow.
Any word or news on your side?
Again, awesome news. That text she sent about thin ice, yes perhaps a little harsh. But what it still says is that she’s leaving him.
Do not mention him again. You’re right in how it might have come across, it wasn’t a stupid text you sent though, just received badly. Meh.
All good signs, you don’t need to second guess yourself anymore, you’ve learnt to trust yourself.
So in nicer words, I called her out on her silence. She phoned me on Saturday morning, and we chatted for half an hour. I kept my cool, no getting upset. Said my part. Soul mate. She told me that after we met she felt so anxious for a week, she didn’t know why. I told her I want to build bridges and fix this. Tired of this limbo now. She mentioned meeting up this weekend instead, see what happens. She has a 2 1/2 day exam this week so will be pre-occupied.
It’s weird as some of the things she said seemed like it’s not over at all. Said it’s too easy to fall back in to doing couple-y things without talking about all this. Said she worries about the distance being an issue if one of us ‘changes our minds’.
Told her I had a train to catch. She liked one of my pictures last night that she’d already seen in our group a week ago. Weird.
All of that isn’t much to go by though so I’m not going to analyse it too much. If at all.
How is Ireland? Good to see the family?
Hi Charlie,
so I called to her on the way back from the Airport. We had a nice evening. Still not getting Close to anything intimate. My guess is that she is taking things slowly. My biggest fear is that i am friend zoned. She was Meeting her sister yesterday and i am busy tonight and tomorrow, so we get a bit of a break. Hopefully she will miss me. She text last night asking that whenever i am free next she wants to bring me for Food.
So that’s the latest from me.
That sounds positive on your end. Keep working on her. Be cool. Never mention the bad things ín the relationship. That is all gone. She has to see the new you.
She must miss you. Move to London Charlie. Check out Jobs.No distance then.
There’s no such thing as the friend zone. Plus it’s only been a very short amount of time since you’ve reconnected. Plus she said she was breaking up with the other guy. From the outside that doesn’t sound like the fabled ‘friend zone’.
It’s been all quiet on my end again. Text her last night wishing her good luck for her exam. She replied this morning, thanks, hope you’re well. Muted as per usual.
I just don’t get it. Every time we actually talk, i.e. When we can’t avoid each other, it’s always nice. Then she hides again.
Well, looks like weekend is a no go. She said she’s busy with deadlines. Called her and spoke to her, she was upset as she said she’s really struggling with uni. Said that she can’t do next weekend either because of deadlines. Said that she does want to see me though.
She then also said that she shouldn’t be speaking to me when she’s upset, and text me the same this morning, which is odd.
Told her it’s fine and that I’m around if she needs to chat. Can’t really do anything else I suppose.
No. not much you can do. Don’t annoy her when she is studying. I’ve learned that the hard way.
It’s good that she wants to meet. I think she wants you back if I’m honest.
I think she needed this time and has started missing you. You may be acting differently; calmer or something. She will pick up on that.Give her the time she wants to do her study thing. And then go and meet her and all will be fine. Keep working on yourself.
As for me, we meet every day and text a lot. Nothing more though. I’ll keep trying. Keep meeting. She wants to meet with friends this weekend so a few days apart might be good. Make her miss me
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