Please help me guys.

[patrick d]

I’m struggling Charlie. I really am. For the first time in weeks I am feeling really down.

And it seems that no amount of walking will help.

I like that you understand the connections. My family on my Fathers side have a strange history of being. ..Well. ….odd. this is going to sound really odd and judge it how you like. But some of us see things and sense things. The future and so on. Some of us have struggled to deal with it.

Sometimes we go to fortune tellers and they tell us that we have a power. This sounds mad now when I write it. It’s this sense that keeps telling me not to give up.

But maybe it’s all crap. Maybe I should. Maybe I should walk away. Leave this place.

But then I know that I would regret that forever more. Strange.

I really don’t know what to do. And I’ve nobody to turn to. Like most things in my life the last decade or more, I have to do it alone. She was my rock. I didn’t appreciate that. Until it was gone.

What the hell will I do. I wish I could talk to somebody. Family or something. My strength is gone today. Drained. And I feel so strongly that it is her causing it. She is weighing up a decision. To be or not to be. That is the question.

[california1815]

Well, you’re talking to me.

Life is pretty shit in general isn’t it. Get back home.

Have a seat for a minute. Close your eyes, and experience what you’re feeling. Don’t fight it. Just exist in it. This too shall pass.

You have worth.

You are intelligent.

You matter to many people in this world.

To give up is to lose. Are you weak? You don’t seem like a weak person.

If you can, try not to anchor how you are feeling based on her. She is not, and never was responsible for your emotions. You are your own person, and you are a good person.

[california1815]

Believe me, I have stood on the very precipice of despair. In moments like these, words from others often do not help.

I won’t tell you to cheer up, because right now everything is fucked.

And that’s OK.

So, fuck it. Right?

You are only human, even if you don’t feel it.

[california1815]

Here’s a mind twister. Forget the past. You are who you are now. All the things you’ve done and all the decisions you’ve made. The you of now never did those things, because you are not who you were back then. You are only the person you are right now, moment to moment. Tomorrow you will be someone entirely different again.

[patrick d]

Thanks. I’m almost home.

Everybody says I have a massive chance. Why can I not see that?

What do you honestly think?

That guy today was fairly certain.

So what is she waiting for?

I won’t give up. Not yet anyway. Not without one last big effort

[california1815]

My honest opinion? I have no idea my friend. But there’s a freedom in that. What I have learnt so far is that the people around us can’t tell us what we want to hear.

Some people I’ve spoken to have made lucky guesses, others have helped me make mistakes.

From the information you’ve told me though, yes I believe she still feels for you. Of course she would, it hasn’t been any time at all in the grand scheme of things.

You never did anything to harm her intentionally, or anything malicious. You weren’t a bad person. You had a problem, and you fixed it. You should be proud of that.

You saw her, and she recognised it. Achievement enough for now. Back to your life. Don’t slow down. You’re doing better than she is.

[patrick d]

You’re a good man Charlie.

That is a good honest answer.

She of has feelings still. And she did see my achievements.

But I saw love still there. A longing in her for what could be. Does she love me enough to try again?

Time will tell. But a flame still Burns. She may be 50/50 right now. But that’s good. I just have to make her 100.

And I’ll try.

[california1815]

I’m in a bad way this evening. I just don’t get why she went back to being quiet after we met.

The conversation we had yesterday was so cold when I look at it. She said she was finding it ‘difficult’. That’s not confused.

I mean what is she avoiding me for? It makes me think she’s got something else starting, and I’m just getting strung along. Only replies to negativity. Makes it easy doesn’t it.

[patrick d]

Hello Charlie.

I’ll be honest like you were yesterday. I don’t know what she is thinking. Your meeting with her seemed positive. You both enjoyed yourselves to an extent.

I don’t get the silence either. But I wouldn’t say that the silence means that someone else is on the go. That’s just you making that up right now. I suppose you would have sensed when you met if she had somebody else. And you didn’t did you?

Look. Even if she did then in a twisted way it might be good. She might appreciate then what she had with you.

But I dont think she has. But what is she doing?

Maybe she is taking time to think things through? But how much time does she need? And why does she not reply?

Maybe you going nc would help again. Or maybe just asking her what the hell is going on woman might help.

If I asked you now you would probably want to just ask what is going on?

What are you thinking of doing?

[Saban1990]

Charlie keep your head up buddy, don’t think to much into it. your brain can be a cruel mistress sometimes overthinking too much.

She is just as confused and overthinking as you are, she is probably missing the old times you guys used to have and you guys meeting might have jolted her memory what it used to be like so maybe she is thinking what she wants, I would probs give her some space for a little while and see what happens buddy

I hope your good man stay strong

[california1815]

I don’t know what I’m thinking of doing honestly. Maybe I’ll send that message tonight.

The meeting was positive yes, it turned from a no to I don’t know. It’s just whether or not that’s enough. I am just going by what I feel, she seems to be thinking with her head.

I just think that’s she’s distancing herself again because getting back together isn’t what she really wants. I mean she said it enough when we met.

I definitely want to ask, but that may just push it down one route. I don’t think there’s much to ask I guess.

[california1815]

My texts were just casual, a continuation of the mood when we met. Nothing in return. She will only talk to me when I don’t say nice things. I don’t get it.

[Nick1234]

Charlie,
I know how you feel. My ex seems to only respond or care really when I do something to upset her haha. Nothing when I try to do something nice. Just know you are not alone in that. I dont get it either lol.

Women are strange creatures indeed.

[california1815]

Hi Patrick,

So this weekend is our maybe meet up weekend.

She text me today, but only because I paid for all of the bills for the cats. It seemed to get her back up a bit, which wasn’t my intention obviously. Said she paid her half before we broke up, and is going to continue. Makes sense I guess. The text didn’t sound like she’s that confused though. I haven’t replied.

I see three outcomes here. She’ll text to say it’s still over. I don’t think I’ll hear from her about this weekend. If I ask she’ll just say no.

So I think I won’t say anything. If I hear nothing, I may just travel to her house. Just turn up. Take my letter.

What do you think?

[patrick d]

Hello Charlie. Do you think turning up is a good idea at the house?

Might freak her out. But maybe it’s the right thing. You know her best.

Do you still want her back?
You seem to be on the verge of giving up?
Do you think you have changed enough?
By You hanging on with messages and meet ups etc you are showing that you are still stuck on her.

Just a thought. But you seem stuck.
Actually drive To her. Give the letter. Make a big move

[Author]

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