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Don’t feel bad. You have the resolve of a sensei.
I’m just not going to be friends with her, I couldn’t put myself through that. I’ve already made my mind up on that front, and I’ll tell her if the time comes. I’ll always be brave enough to lay it on the line.
I love the woman, and that doesn’t go away so I won’t pretend it will. I’m consistent at least.
What I don’t appreciate is that she’s hiding from me. She saw me and said all those things, and now she’s hiding again.
It’s pretty simple really, either she loves me enough to give this another go, or she doesn’t and that’s ok.
You’re in a similar but very different place to me, and I think you have made the right choices.
She seems to confuse me being in love with her with me not changing. The changing part is what she’s missed out on entirely!
The email I got kevin today talks about hot and cold. Means they are thinking. Give them the time they need.
But I hear you. I said no friends at the weekend and then she was very keen to meet. But my other girl might have made her do that.
Why am I in a very different place to you? What’s so different? That she is texting a little bit?
Don’t you always wonder just how much general information can actually be applied to a very subjective situation though?
I get Kevin’s emails and they’re great. But it’s like feeling ill and trying to diagnose yourself with Google. There’s a pattern sure, but just how accurate is it in something that is completely different for everybody?
I don’t know if I’m being pessimistic. It certainly helps stop you from making stupid mistakes. I just know that the course my breakup has taken so far, has just happened the way it has happened. I say I did things wrong, but who’s to say I actually could have done them any differently, even with the right advice?
I think these boards are great, however. To be able to speak your mind and get honest advice from people will never be a bad thing.
I think things are different for you and I because really they are, your situation is yours and mine is mine. We were both in relationships with completely different people. To apply the site’s logic though, I guess you are ‘further down the line’ than I.
But you’re also making good progress now.
I got relationship rewind (you can just Google it and download it, don’t tell anyone!) and it just seems a bit rubbish, I read the vast majority and found it difficult to identify exactly where I stood at all. So many variables.
Definitely some good tips in there though.
I know what you mean. Take each relationship differently. I read People on here sticking strictly to 30 days or 60 days nc. We are not Computers. We are People. Read every Situation as it suits. But I guess that is why most People on here will fail. They think that by following some list of instructions it will reboot the relationship and all will be fine. Just wait and she will come running.
It doesn’t work like that. Not in the real world. And I read stories here were I know that they haven’t a Chance of starting again. But I haven’t the heart to tell them. I Admire their resolve.
And as for me. I am not sure if I actially know what I am doing at all. haha. But really. Right now, I think I have sorted myself out enough. Nobody is ever going to be perfect and i was sick of waiting. I think actually that i waited a week too Long to make a move. Ah well. So I am trying to work/worm my way back in slowly. Shove him out. Like a cuckoo.
Who knows if it will work. I know that by Holding on i am building myself up for another possible heart breaking fall. But I know that I would have spent my life regretting not trying my best if i did walk away. I suppose, if i was to look at my Story as an outsider not knowing me or her, then i would question her. If she wanted it over then what is she doing? Why meet with him when she has somebody? why get so upset when he says goodbye?
Oh I don’t bloody know. Actually I do. I have some secrets. But I know I’ll get her back. We will be official by Easter
Hi Patrick
I agree with you I haven’t followed the nc rule at all I’ve done things my way I just came on here to talk and discuss my feelings and get advice Charlie has been a great help,
I admire your confidence you seem to be heading in the right direction 🙂
Nothing new. A few texts over and back the last few days. I asked what she was doing for the weekend and that she had suggested the cinema or dinner. She hesitated and then said she had planned to meet a friend.
She hoped my psychologist went well. I said it did and for her to let me know when she is free.That was yesterday and not a word today. But I guess her head is all over the place.
I’ll give her time. Talked to a guy today. Did psychology and all round intelligent lad. He was great to talk to. He said it’s fairly obvious from an outside view.
She definitely doesn’t want to lose me from her life. I gave her every chance to go by doing my nc. That if she wanted to be friends she wouldn’t have acted like she did. The touching the photos wanting to meet again, suggesting going to places together.
He was great to talk to. But he said don’t be surprised if she goes silent for a while. She has some major issues in her head to deal with.
And that she probably had plans to meet people this weekend. Him probably. And it would look very suspicious if she pulled out now. Do not put pressure on her he said.She will have to find a way herself.
What do you think? The silence today is annoying. But he said what would one expect. It’s a massive thing for her. Even more tougher than for me.
need help. @patrick d and @california1815 please have a look.
You have good patience, so stick with that. Psychology guy has some interesting viewpoints. No pressure is a great idea. Shame she bailed on your meet, but that’s not a negative thing.
Silence is annoying yes. As you said though, not necessarily a negative thing. You knew this would take time. She has things to weigh up, outside variables.
She definitely sounds keen, not to get your hopes up or anything.
I spoke with her again, though it was a kind of muted conversation. I text her last night casually but got no reply so followed up on Facebook. Said I text because I wanted to speak to her, but felt stupid after I do text. Said it was very confusing.
She replied apologising for not replying, agreed that it was very confusing.
Said I liked her post in our group page, have a nice weekend.
She said I guess it’s really difficult for her too hence her no replies. Again, she’s sorry. Have a nice weekend.
Left me feeling a bit stupid. A nothing kind of conversation, the worst kind.
On my side. We were not sure to meet or anything. I just asked yesterday and hard nothing back about it. Still nothing.
I’ll Leave her. It’s a big thing for her.
As for you. I wouldn’t apologise to her for texting her. But you will get the chat you want from her soon. Stick at it. You have patience too. I’m impressed. I am just a bit annoyed that Wednesday went so well and now it’s so quiet.
Yes, leave it. She will
get back to you in time. Funnily enough my Ma advised me the same. I probably shouldn’t have even Facebooked her but never mind. She doesn’t reply to the casual things though. Makes sense I suppose. I wrote this, haven’t sent it though:That’s OK, I understand. I won’t text again. I know things are kind of fucked and that’s why you don’t reply. I’ve accepted that we are where we are for a reason, that happened a little while ago.
I just keep getting this feeling that something isn’t right. It hits me every day. I felt it when we saw each other. I feel it when I don’t talk to you at all. I just think you might be my fucking soulmate. Even after it all. Stupid right?
I may be a fool for wearing my heart on my sleeve. Doesn’t matter.
Anyway, I really do care about you, so I’ll leave you alone now. Let me know sometime about meeting up. Xxx
I quite like that message of yours. I’d send it.
But women do think differently. As your ma said, leave it. Hard for us to understand that. The giving space thing. But I do get it. i think.
I guess I won’t hear anything tonight. Ha.
But I hope she gets back soon. And wants to meet.Your girl will start replying. Just have belief.
I’m a bit down today. She is on my mind all day and the feelings are strong. Very strong.
I believe in connections people certain people and I think that my feelings of struggle today might be a reflection of her feelings today.
That sounds crazy I know. But I think that sometimes. Think I have to go for a walk. Something is up. Either me hitting depression again or my feelings are right and she is struggling.You did well the other day Patrick, hold fast my friend.
I often think the same. Two people with a strong connection can sense each other’s feelings. Then again, I was struggling today and she seemed oddly cold.
You do whatever you need to do to feel better right now my friend.
Check out Dreaming with Jeff. Jeff Bridges’ sleep tapes. He’s a dude. The Dude, if you’re a Lebowski fan. Anyway, they’re a great distraction if nothing else. Simple. Kind.
I wonder what will happen in my situation. I may send my message, but not tonight. Just strange that we said so much to each other last weekend, now it’s back to where it was before.
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