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She is right. It would be awkward for the others if you two meet for the first time when they are around.
Do the Meeting when you are alone together first so you don’t have to act up in front of others.
That message you wrote. I would take out the question; Are you having a nice time in Portsmouth? It may come acrosss as you looking for gossip. Just simply write something like; Enjoy Portsmouth. Easy and you come across as cool.
She is still clinging on a bit to you. She wants to meet you and wants to hang out with the others with you. At least she didn’t say to stay away from them. I got sort of told that you know!
I personally honestly think that the Girl was fed up with the whole Thing. She needed a break. You did too but you can’t see that yet because you haven’t opened your eyes yet. You are still looking for what is lost and gone and not looking towards what can be and is coming. And by being like that you might miss the Thing that is coming.
Do you understand? Stop over analyzing every word. She text you. Se wants to meet and wants to hang out with the others. That is Progress. Don’t worry about what she is doing or who with. None of your Business right now.
So, start getting excited. Start thinking positively about everything. Send the letter and get ready to meet. But do not mention the relationship when you meet. She will not say to start again straight away. You know that. Nobody would do that. You have to prove to her over time, maybe months, that you are the man.
Any other word from her?
You’re right Patrick. I need to give up in some respects. I realised today that over these two weeks I’ve just been digging a big hole. I haven’t been honest with her over these two weeks, out of fear. I could’ve been and was ready to the other week and it probably would have been ok, but I am where I am now. When I see her I’ll have to be as honest as I can, as for the past two weeks I’ve played all these stupid games which I didn’t need to. I took the information here somewhat incorrectly, and started hiding things from her in some ways.
I keep doing weird things and I don’t know why. I sent that text with the question in it, for some reason I said ‘last week’ when it’s been longer than that:
Hey. Yeah you’re right. Well the offer stands, we can have that easy day we talked about last week. Are you having a nice time in Portsmouth? Xxx
It’ll be ok I’m sure. It’ll have to be! I wanted to know if she’s in Portsmouth so I know where to send my letter. I think I’ll just give it to her in person. I don’t know if it’s full of half truths anyway, it’s not like me to do these things.
No reply from her yet. She always waits as long as it takes me to reply at least, if not longer.
I’m tempted to just call her briefly this evening. Just be cool. I don’t text well I’ve realised. Just explain that I’ve been confused and I’d like to see her Sunday if she’s game. Simple.
Probably won’t though, will see how the mood takes me this evening. It’s just every time I hear from her I get so mixed up and anxious, and I realise now that’s it not because I’m sad. It’s because I’m not being honest with myself and her, and I keep doing things I don’t need to as a result.
Just start being cool. She has had time to think. Don’t push. Don’t send too many Messages. Don’t do anything stupid. Let you 2 drift back together.
Maybe giving the letter in Person would be good.Another Thing. That place were you are from might really be suffocating you! Did you check out Jobs in London yet? Start looking and applying for yourself at least. New you, new Location, new life etc. And don’t be depressed or sad in any way when you meet. So get that out of your System.
Are you Meeting then this Weekend?
Just realised it is just Wednesday. This week is dragging on.
Calling would be a big move. She might not answer.
The Thing about texts is that you have time to think. But up to yourself. Find out if she wants to meet sunday some way. And watch the way she acts when you meet. She will be watching you. You can’t be too nervous because she will pick up on that
It is suffocating me. Work is very difficult, and the town is shit. Yeah I won’t send it down there. I’ll stick to the see how the day goes, then let her take it away with her, or open it wherever she likes. If we even get that far!
Oh and of course it’s not my business what she’s doing. It is however my business if she’s doing it with one of my friends. If that’s what is happening, I don’t think it is, but I’ll be paying a visit down there to make sure he can’t eat for a while and everything will be over with. One way to find peace I suppose.
This weekend is really draggin isn’t it! I ended up not going to work yesterday, the panic struck me for the whole day. I lament too much. Started reading Power Of Now, it’s helping already!
Any news on your end?
Nothing my end. I just text last night wishing her good luck. She said thanks and that she is finished today at 6pm.
So, I just wait now. I doubt that she will want to meet for a few days. I think that because she will probably go out with class mates tonight or tomorrow (I would do that so why would she not?). And as the shrink said, she will be exhausted and if she has Feelings for me then she will want to look good and not meet looking tired!
I can wait.
Charlie, I feel for you. It is so hard to let go but you have to. It’s tough to hear, but only when you feel free can you ever get back together properly. Assume she is gone. And work form there.
P.s. As much as you think that kicking the shit out of the friend would make you feel better, don’t go there. Rebounds are a psychological Thing. Not an pre-planned “let’s really piss off Charlie” plan. And as for your mate; Well, he would lose you and a lot of others I am sure for that. But what man wouldn’t jump at a woman if he got half a Chance? Anyway, don’t think like that and violence would solve nothing.
You’re right. I think I’m there to be honest, I keep having these moments of tranquility, but they are short lived. People keep making me re-live it I realise.
She liked my photo of one of our cats today.
I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t jump at a woman. I’m not that kind of guy at all, and I’ve always struggled to come to terms with how other people act that way. It took three months for her and I to get together, she even was going to give up on me just before I finally asked her out haha! She always said that was what she liked about me, I was different to other guys.
I think it’s what actually caused a lot of the problems in our relationship for me. I had difficulty understanding that she had a past before me for a long while. It was never an issue before she kissed someone else by mistake, then it grew like a tumour. I became obsessed with our sex life as a result too, caused a lot of trouble.
All in the past now. Forget what happened. Start again.
Don’t take as Long this time but don’t rush in too quick either. Liking the photo was good.
Keep it cool. All will be good
It’s an odd one though, because we can have a nice day sure, I’d like that. But where does that show any change?
Sounds like everything at your end is getting pretty exciting. Whatever happens it’ll be so good to see her in person!
I hope I get the same chance.
Funny actually, I got Kevin’s automatic email about rebound relationships today, shook me right up.
How common do you think they actually are?
And what do you think about my situation?
The thing that throws me so much is that I’m trying to take it as over, but I don’t actually know if it is.
I’ll be cool when the day comes, but I’ll fight for it if I get the chance. Will have to wait and see what happens I guess. As you said, part of me thinks she wants me to fight for it.
Also, do you think it’s ok for me to ask if she is seeing someone else?
Probably not in my situation right? Haha.
About rebounds, I knew nothing about then until this happened but then everybody was telling me that they are quite common. Not every woman of course but some do that. Look for comfort.
Anyway, don’t think about it and don’t ask her.Let her tell you if that is the case.
You can assume it’s over but have a bit of hope that you can salvage it.
I got a message from her saying she was finished and she thinks she did well. We text some crap for a few minutes and then nothing. She hasn’t mentioned meeting up in a good few days. That worries me slightly. But the shrink said that she won’t want to meet for a few days anyway because she will be so tired and feeling rough.
So the weekend maybe so. More waiting
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