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The therapist said; “she definitely wants you. She misses you in her life. She would have given up texting otherwise and wouldn’t have sent the photos. But maybe she feels lonely and wants you now for comfort. Or maybe she wants you back. So be careful. You will know when you see her and watch the way she acts.”
Nothing new really.
I had one introductory session in October because I was a complete mess. Alcohol and depression etc. But with waiting on the insurance to pay and me going to Ireland I didn’t get back until today.
She thought I was in much better Form than then. But that wouldn’t be hard. She is really hot too. Which is not good apparently! But she listens to me waffling away. I didn’t shut up for the hour.
Sometimes that’s all you need I think, my counselling sessions go much the same way, but it’s helped me a lot.
Do you think you’ll continue doing it? It can help to get a professional perspective. Are the sessions in English out of interest?
I’ll keep going. Can’t see why not. Somebody to listen to me talking about all sorts of nonsense.
They are in English. That’s important I think.
It is good, yes. Nice to have a third party to talk to, someone who doesn’t have anything to do with you.
I didn’t make any contact this evening. I’m too scared if I’m honest. I really want to tell her that my friend called me after she spoke to him. I don’t know whether to or not. He didn’t tell me in a gossipy way, he just told me she was upset.
Weighing up that against no contact.
Hey Patrick,
Where can I find one of the recommended letters?
Hope you’re well today.
http://erelationshipadvicecafe.com/how-to-use-the-magic-second-chance-letter-to-get-your-ex-back/
Search magic letter in Google and you will find lots.
I’m fine. Had a good night. My stalker girl was there but changed her tactics to being nice. I like her actually. But had to tell her I want the ex back. Ah well. Back up plan if all else fails. But nice feeling to know you are desired. Hope that didn’t come across as cocky.
Not at all, I think it’s good to be upfront about it. Good for you! Have you passed up on any other opportunities since you broke up?
I ended up going to lunch with one of the girls from my work spontaneously on Friday. It felt kind of like a date, but I think that’s just because I’ve never really been on a date before. She has a boyfriend too, I think both of us just needed to get out of the office. Nevertheless, it just made me miss her more as I realised this girl is nothing like her.
I didn’t send flowers today in the end, I think it would’ve rubbed off the wrong way.
I re-worked my letter, would be interested to hear your opinions:
“Our time apart has taught me many things. It made me realise that I have a life outside of us that I should be working towards. I’ve said that before but I think I was saying it for you instead of for me. I should’ve been doing it when I was with you, but instead I decided to get stuck in the past out of fear, and I got trapped there. I was afraid to move forward as I thought I’d lose you somehow, when really I should have had more faith. More faith to take bigger risks, knowing we’d make it. I get that I didn’t understand that because I’ve never had the chance to learn it the hard way before, so in a way I think the distance has been good for me.
I think that was why I moved back here instead of to London with you. I realised that I was only doing us harm with the mindset I was in, and I wanted the opportunity to be a better man.
It didn’t work when I got back home though, I was overtaken by the thought that I’d actually only taken another step backwards. And with all the stressors that were happening at home I felt like my world was falling apart. When I visited you in London I felt so free and happy when we ran around doing our own thing, and I think it made me almost bitter to think that I had to go home. My ‘Janplan’ was the first steps towards that realisation, so was the counselling. You should know if you don’t already that I organised the counselling before we parted. I wanted change.
Things are better at home now. I know I have to work towards something different, I can’t be where I am currently for my whole life. I would suffocate. The thought of trying to move to London to be with you was so forceful since coming home, but I wanted to be more financially secure before making any moves. I was trying to be patient.
When we had troubles I would feel so much anxiety and sadness, and the anxiety would make me act crazy. I wasn’t handling my emotions properly, and that had been present for a long time. I am truly sorry for my behaviour. I was finally brave enough to seek help, and was so sad that suddenly it was all too late. This time it’s gone now, for good. With help, I’ve grown up. I hope my absence has shown that I respect and trust you. I miss you a lot. Our boys are here, and they miss you too I know it.
It wasn’t always easy, but living with you was a big part of my life, and it’s the happiest anyone has ever made me, and often the happiest I’ve ever been, and I am completely serious about working towards being there again. Do you remember when we went to all the charity shops buying baby clothes for the boys? Just one of an endless list of beautiful days. Even the shit days were good with you.
I miss your laugh. I miss your beautiful smile. I miss your squidgy nose. I miss taking care of you when you were sick. I miss making you milk and honey. I miss waking up to you and the boys. I miss hearing you speak so passionately about your work, even though you were always so convinced you were boring me. I’d never met a person so unique. Funny, I taught Tim at work how to pronounce phenylalanine the other day and it brought everything straight back.
I’ve had time now to work on myself and improve things for me personally, but what remains for me is the knowledge that the bond we share really is one of a kind. I think you feel it too. There hasn’t been a day where I haven’t thought of you. I want to tell you how much things have changed for me, and I haven’t had the chance to show you.
I want to thank you for our time together, and I shall respect your decision. I want to walk my path alongside yours because I love you, and you are one of the most amazing souls I have ever met. If I have to do it alone then I know now that I will, and I’ll be ok, but I’d much rather do it with you by my side.”
It’s good. She will break down and cry. Hopefully. I think that she still feels very strongly about you. Just wanted you to make a bit. That should help. And meeting her should help. And remember, no mate what she says, do not get angry or emotional. If she says that she kissed another guy then say nothing bad. If she did then it was her emotions doing it. I’m not saying she did, I just think that I have reacted the right way with my ex. I flipped the day she told me but since I have said nothing. I was hurting whilst alone. But she couldn’t know that. Because I had changed you see!
Just realising today that it’s nearly 3 months since we finally ended. Another few weeks will make it 3. My god.On your question. I haven’t gotten in a position to pass up opportunities with other women. The girl is a nice girl. But because I am in the drama with her and because I am still in love with my ex, then I wouldn’t and couldn’t do that to the girl. She likes me, I can see that. But I told her I want to get back with my ex and she seemed to take that Ok. I had to set her straight. Hopefully we can be friends. But I know that my head would not be right yet for anything new. So it wouldn’t be fair on her even if I had given up on the ex.
No word today from the ex. Wasnt really expecting any. But maybe she is sitting there hoping to hear from me. Actually I bet she is. Oh, she liked a video that I put on Facebook of my sister giving an interview about a play she has written. I posted that video a week ago. She definitely saw it then. Why like that today? Is she trying to show me and my family that she cares again? I found that interesting.
Any news from your side?
Interesting news on the like from you there, especially as it was a week ago. Also probably a smart decision on not starting anything new just yet.
Really starting to think calling our meet off was a bad idea. So much regret. I had a bad day yesterday, made the mistake of texting her about a TV show we used to watch. She didn’t reply.
I woke up this morning and saw she’d been online till 3am last night, after being absent online till about midnight. I hate technology, why do they bother showing you that info.
I just don’t know what’s happening and it’s making me crazy.
How are you supposed to
come back from being apart for so long? We haven’t even been apart because of other relationships etc.I hate that I feel like I’ve been losing hope, and surely if I feel like that she must be equal or further down that path. Who does she have to encourage her to keep fighting?
Don’t think about it Charlie. She might not have liked the photos because she is confused. She said she was with her parents and friends this weekend. Maybe she was. Stop checking up.
She might be down the road. But look at me. I thought that all hope was lost. Might still be but it sure doesn’t look lost. Have faith.
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