Only time will heal?

[Mister Handy]

Hello guys, it’s a really cool support we found here, and so I decided to write.

Sorry for the english …

It will take a month since my ex broke up with me. She said she was not happy with the relationship and that I lost her with my way of being cold. She said that a person who claims to love the other does not act that way. She also told me that he lost confidence in me because of disagreements our group of friends. If there was a great misunderstood and she got the impression that I lied to her. A mutual friend just passing this impression, leading other versions of the same story for her 🙁

A few days after the final, she called me crying and wanting to talk, we talk about our mistakes and what was hurting us. Then I started doing the NC but on the 9th was her birthday, I sent a Birthday message and the night after she left with her friends, she wanted to talk … Unfortuantely I broke the NC and ended up talking for nearly two hours. It was a more friendly conversation, seeing the mistakes and talking about personal problems of each.

Two weeks passed and I decided to talk to her, was wrong because it was not yet healed and was angrier! it seems that she began to make conclusions that I am a liar guy and deceived her. Assignment this reaction to her previous relationship that was very troubled, her ex was very liar and did bad things to her.

I tried to soften the whole thing and said I’m not that person and that would prove it. I ended up demoting me, excuse Kevim 🙁

Finally, last Friday I sent a gift with a card saying we could not erase the past, but we can have a future, because I want make it work. On the same day she called me, asking if she was doing me bad and I said what made me bad was the repentance the mistakes I made. Finally, she said that for now it was better to stay the way it is, without much contact yet. I said I would not send messages and she said I could send messages and had her email.

I will make a new NC and wait to see … Now only time can change something.

[patricia12]

You didn’t say how long you were in the relationship?
She’s upset and needs time to calm down. She thinks you lied about something, even though you didn’t. If there’s a way to prove it, try that. Also she said you were cold. Women need lots of affection. If you get another chance with her, make an effort to be much more affectionate!

She asked for no contact so, respect her request and don’t contact her for about 30 days. She has the card with your nice words that she can look at..

[Mister Handy]

Hi Patricia , I’m watching the forum here and see how you have helped people 🙂 ! Thank you very much!

We were together for a year , I am 30 years old and she 26. She turned 26 this month !

Today I ended up making mistakes and sending a message after my therapy , trying to feel if she was less angry … but so far I am unanswered !

The best thing to do now is to start the NC !

[patricia12]

You must honor her request for no contact!

[Mister Handy]

Yes Patricia ! I will honor – it!

I have to think she was just trying to be nice to say that I could send message to her ….

[Mister Handy]

Yesterday i hang out with mutual friends and a friend of hers told me just Knowing after the end , my ex acessed into on abusive relationship sites .

I do not understand how she can think our relationship was in any way abusive 🙁

My errors may have some activated form this thought ?

I remember she Told me she had gone through many bad things like the boyfriend did not let her go out with the clothes she wanted or lie to her or attack her. I never did anything said and always let her do from whatever she want …

Does my way of acting of not showing affection triggered this thought ?

🙁

[patricia12]

Hi Mister Handy, how are you doing? You sound like a nice guy and hope your ex will come to realize that in time. Woman want lots of affection! Like holding hands or hugging and kissing at unexpected times, just because you love and care about her.
Any new updates?

[Mister Handy]

Hello Patricia 🙂

Thanks for answering!

Still no news, I’m starting to think she will not give me another chance. Earlier this year, we had a fight and she had already asked to finish and stayed one week apart. But we talked and I said I wanted to change and act differently ….

The problem is that as a friend of mine said, the impression is that I tried after that fight, but she made no effort!

I started calling every day, pay attention, be more patient, more show my love but still, she got the impression that it would have no future.

Last time I talked to her, she was so angry, she told me hard things that she lose a year of her life with me. Before that I was the perfect guy for her 🙁

Tomorrow is my birthday, I have no hope that she will send me message …

And if it happens, it may be a sign that I have to move on.

What do you think Patricia?

Thanks.

[Mister Handy]

? ?

[patricia12]

Hi Mister Handy, Last time you talked to her she was very angry and she didn’t answer the message you sent about 6 days ago. Give her more time and don’t contact her for at least another 2 weeks or more. All is not lost, but she’s upset and needs time to calm down. Wishing you the best always .. and Happy Birthday:)

[Mister Handy]

Hi Patricia12 ! How are you?

THANK YOU SO MUCH !

I have not received any message from her so far and was going crazy ! I was almost send text to her When I saw your message 🙂

I can not understand how a person who lived more than year in a relationship , can not send any message of happy birthday 🙁

I will continue with the NC

And thanks for the happy birthday 🙂

[Mister Handy]

Hi Patricia,

I was thinking of trying to contact my ex again at the end of this week … but not with just a text message, I think maybe an email saying how I feel after that time, and how I want to work things out and I’m willing to have a real relationship.

Do you think this would be the best approach? Recalling that she said she did not believe how I loved her and acted like that … I may have to prove my love?

The Impression That I have is that only a text message, it will not help anything.

I think the way she acted to block at all and not give me happy Birthday, mean she wants to move on 🙁

What do you think?

[patricia12]

You sent her a message 12 days ago. Give her more time to calm down! Later sending an email sounds like a good idea as it provides more space to write longer messages in a format that she can read over and think about. I don’t know if she wants to move on yet, but I know she’s hurt and angry. She needs more time for those bad memories to fade. I hope you will someday get the chance to prove your love and that you will be much more caring, understanding, and affectionate.

[Mister Handy]

Hey Patricia are You okay?

I will complete 30 days of nc this week and maybe I’ll wait a few more days! I wonder If is better send a long letter with all the thoughts and feelings, or something short?

I don’t know if Is better write something longer where I try to explain the misunderstanding that I am a liar despite having talked to her this! or something more simple and playful?

I wrote an email making an allusion to a TV series where my character is between one season and another and talking about how we are the directors of our lives!

I thought I’d also send a link of a playlist that I made with our songs! Do you think that would be cool?

Thanks

[Mister Handy]

someone?

:/

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