-
Posts
-
@tanda You’ve done more than enough to show you care, but she hasn’t been receptive. She thinks it’s best for you both to move on, so I recommend you do so..
Don’t contact her again! If she reaches out and wants to try reconciliation, you could give it a try, but right now she doesn’t seem interested.
Only time will tell how this all plays out. So for now, focus on yourself.. visit family and friends more often, work on any hobbies you might have, and consider dating other women after you get past the grieving stage.
Wishing you the best:)
I miss her so much :(. I haven’t contacted her but this is super hard. She will never know how much I truly care about her. I am someone that keeps my feelings inside. She probably thinks I hardly care about her when that is not the case at all.
My days are filled with thoughts about our times together and memories. I truly thought she was the partner for life. I still think that but I know she has probably moved on.
@tanda I understand your sadness as you were “together” for a long time, but that was the past, and now you’re torturing yourself with memories.
You can’t know what she thinks and it doesn’t help you to try and guess. I think your exams are coming up and you should focus on that!
You have to accept that she’s not interested in reconciliation at this time and there’s a chance she will never be interested! If you can accept this, you will be able to move on more easily.
You are alone in thinking she’s a partner for life. A mutual decision is made to become partners for life and right now she doesn’t think of you that way.
Maybe after you pass your exams, you could write and tell her about it and ask how she’s doing and then take it from there..
@patricia12 Yes you are right I need to continue to keep my focus on my exam. We will see what happens in the future but right now things do not look good for a reconciliation.
Thank you for your sound advise I truly appreciate it.
Here is a little update to my story.
I decided to write her a handwritten letter. Since I do not know her address where she is right now I scanned the letter in color and emailed it to her. To be honest I wasn’t expecting any reply as I have learned not to have any expectations at this point.
A few days later she did send me a message saying she received my letter but has been really busy with school so she hopes to reply to me in a couple days.
I replied to her saying not a problem but she never did reply to me few days later. So after a couple more days after that I sent her a message saying I was hoping to hear from you and hope you are enjoying the holiday season.
Well she replied to me asking if I can talk on the phone. I called her the next day and surprisingly she picked up but said she can’t talk on the phone right now. But she said the reason she wanted to talk on the phone was to tell me that she will be back in town in about a week and she prefers to talk in person. I said that’s fair and makes sense.
So that is where it is at right now. There are no other messages or anything.
The letter was kept short and I mentioned some of the things I have improved upon in my life. I also mentioned our bond wasn’t broken but it just needed to be mended and hoped she saw things like that too.
Well lets see now.
@tanda Have you finished the exams? Good luck with the meetup!
@patricia12 Yes I finished my exam and also mentioned about it in the letter.
Feel a lot of sadness and not sure how to handle it. Tomorrow the 14th would have been our anniversary. Obviously the most exciting day on the calendar for me for the past 5 years.
She is back in town as of couple days ago but we have not met up yet. She said she will let me know when she can. She has messaged me here and there sometimes even initiated which surprised me in a good way. Such as I changed my whatsapp photo one day after a long time and she messaged me saying “new photo!”. I called her yesterday personally and she picked up. I wanted to just welcome her back. Obviously I would love to meet her on the 14th even though it wouldn’t be like yesteryear. I haven’t mentioned the 14th or our anniversary in particular to her as I do not know if she even remembers/cares anymore.
@tanda Yes, tomorrow will be a sad day for you and I don’t think it’s a good day for the meetup. However, if she is the one to suggest it, go. Otherwise do not mention it. I’m sure she remembers the day, but maybe it doesn’t bring much joy considering you’re not together anymore..
Hey everyone,
Just wanted to update that this chapter is closed and done, unfortunately.
She did not end up meeting me while she was back in town. Instead she sent me a text replying to my letter. She mentioned she cannot erase the past and will not communicate with me.
She did send me photos of her cat in the following days but has again gone quiet. So I guess that was just breadcrumbs.
No worries, time to be strong, time to move on.
@tanda “She mentioned she cannot erase the past and will not communicate with me.” Wow, this seems to be her way of ending things for good. Sorry this happened to you and yes, you need to be strong. Grieve and in a while start dating again. You will be okay in the long run..
Hi everyone, another sad weekend coming up. I remember it was Mothers Day weekend last year where I first felt things changing. It was that weekend she didn’t acknowledge me selling my old car which we had many memories, didn’t really acknowledge delivery of my new car or discuss what we were doing for Mothers Day.
So it was this weekend last year where life started changing for me. I started feeling the change. I wouldn’t get a good morning from her, no more phone calls, no I love you, and she told me she’s not my soulmate.
I continue to struggle with things being over. Even though months later I try to move on I just can’t mentally. It’s always there in my mind. I have now tried talking to new people but I cant forget her at all. I have dreams about us on a daily basis I’m not sure if that’s normal. Good, bad, miracles of her returning, I see them all in my dreams.
I don’t think it will ever change for me be it if I’m 40, 50, 60. I can be married to someone else but that will never change who I truly wanted. I understand that’s not what she wants but that can’t make me change my feelings. I know for me our love was real and organic. We didn’t meet off some cheezy online dating site. We weren’t looking for love it just happened organically. The connection we had won’t be matched for either of us, I know that.
I just can’t fathom she left and never even gave 1 more chance of us being together again. Not even 1. For a 5 year relationship that often felt like marriage it just seems a tough pill. She was always someone who fights for a relationship but she just walked away. Her best friend even gave her partner so many chances.
I probably need to get therapy once this pandemic ends. How does one get an appointment? Is it through your family doctor?
@tanda You wrote:”For a 5 year relationship that often felt like marriage..” If you stop and think about it, the relationship was not like a marriage. Married people live together and see each other every day, month after month, year after year. They see each other’s flaws up close and personal. They go through good times and bad together. Yes, you spent time together when she was in town and you traveled to see her. So it was mostly fun times until May of last year. Much of the 5 years were apart (long distant). I’m not trying to minimize what you felt, but being realistic.
You flunked your exams twice (Dec 2018 + June 2019). The first time due to an addiction to games. Then after you flunked your exam in June you became addicted again.
She had become cold in May 2019 and broke up with you in August. She said she couldn’t forgive or trust you because apparently you were curious about a female game opponent and googled her to see her photo. But perhaps she was also disappointed that you had flunked your exams and the addiction to games was probably also a factor. In November you “talked on the phone and she said she feels it’s best we move on”.
This is a very sad story. I understand you’re heart broken and of course you’ll never forget her. I know it’s difficult to believe, but you will be happy again someday in the future when you meet and form a great relationship with someone else, I guarantee it!
Do you still live in Canada and is your ex living there now? Since you did pass your last exam in December, do you have a reliable good job now?
Yes, contact your family doctor soon! Tell the doctor that you’re in a deep depression and need help. The doctor might refer you to a therapist and maybe the therapy could even be done over the phone until the pandemic is over. You should also tell the therapist about your tendency toward addictions etc..
I pray you will begin to have a more optimistic outlook on your future.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.