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Posts
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Archola, I am sorry to be hard on you, but this is no break. She has another relationship. A break you take yoi dont jump into another person’s arms. Yoi take time on your own to figure things out, not by entangling yourself with another.
The method says that when all seems lost to write the letter announcing your intention to move on, that you realize that breaking up was the right thing to do, and that you are on your way. Dont let her know you still believe this is a break she is taking because she will know she still has yoi at her will.
@teamjordan12 It’s up to you how long you want to take. Since you and your ex were together for a few years, you can do longer than 30 days if you want and it shouldn’t have a negative effect. Usually, the longer you are together, the longer you can go NC. Start with 30 days, and at the end if you feel you need longer, then you can extend. I went close to 50 days myself. Let us know how it goes. Good luck and stay strong!
@archola I think that it could be of help to you to write to her and let her know you are moving on. It might help to sort of close that chapter with her and solidify things in your mind. I’d keep things short and sweet and wouldn’t mention the tickets or whatever.
@Carmine828 That sounds great about the workshop, have you been to it yet?I’m glad to hear that you are doing things for you! I realized that I had stopped doing things for myself in my relationship and I’ve been getting back to it myself, it’s a great feeling isn’t it?@Carmine828, I didn’t say I think this is a break. I didn’t mean that at all! I said that I would understand that before she broke up with me if we would have a talk and realise that we needed a break from each other to figure things out. I realise that now, I realise that if before all this, when we were still together if we had some time off each other and not break up and she jumping into someone else’s arms, that we could have done something better with this.
@Nell, yeah, I was thinking about something like that but I don’t know what to say. I don’t want her to think that I still want her, but i don’t want her to think that I hate her and that she didn’t mean anything either. So i kinda don’t know what to say, lol.@archola I can imagine. It’s a difficult thing to decide. I’m sure it will come to you. I’ve seen some examples online, maybe they can help you to figure out what you want to say? I have one I wrote down, if you are interested I can post it.
@Nell If you don’t mind, can you post it? I haven’t decided yet if I’ll write her anything, and when I do I’ll post here first to get your guys approval 🙂
@archola I can’t seem to find what I did with it, but I will post as soon as I do. What I had was vague but it was a good starting template. The gist of the message was you say something about how you’ve been acting crazy or not yourself but you are better now, how you agree with or accept the break up, say something about it’s for the best for both of you, and then wish them the best, or offer to be friends some time in the future. It also emphasized staying calm and collected, being friendly, and not getting emotional.
@Nell thanks for the tips. I will think about this after Tuesday as i have my last exam then. Everytime I see a picture of her or wtv, my heart still…you guys know 🙂 But I will get through this eventually.
@archola Good luck on your exam!
Wish Life was simpler.
Your ex might be in a rebound relationship, the internet suggests that they usually do not last.
I am not sure if mine is…it is hard to identify if someone is in a rebound relationship or not.
@Martin indeed. Wish life was simpler. It would much easier.
About the rebound, to be honest, I doubt it in my case. Don’t really know how they managed to make that work out but yeah. She doesn’t give a fuck about me, i guess. I’ll still write something to her this week. Don’t know how I went from the best bf in the world to nothing in a matter of weeks. Actually I don’t know how one can get in another relationship couple of weeks after ending a 3 and a half years one. Well, yeah.
@archola Hang in there. Yeah, ex’s, I’ll never understand how they think. My ex was telling me he wanted us to have a baby right up until we broke up. Sometimes I wonder what kind of world they are living in.
My name is Kevin and I would really like some support and any advice if you can. My ex and I were together for a year and a half. She broke up with me 12 days ago and I’m on day 4 of NC. She broke up with me saying I was disrespectful but after the break up she also said I had helped her during the hardest times of her life when no one else would!! I was always there when she needed me and I was always as supportive and caring as possible. I went over to her house 8 days after the break up to ask if she wanted to study or go running. She was very rude and wouldn’t give me the time of day to speak to me for more than a minute. Two hours later she apologized for being mean and invited me to study the following day but then cancelled on me at the last minute without even giving me a reason and then ignoring me!! I ended up putting my relationship status to single since she did the same and she ended up attacking me on facebook and then blocking me after I defended myself. She went to an old post where I told her I love her and called me a giant liar. We both said horrible things to each other and I mean HORRIBLE. When we were together, neither could get enough of the other! Do you guys think she is still interested based on what I’ve told you?? I mean she did act somewhat jealous when I posted being single plus she apologized and invited me over after being cold to me in person but then canceled without giving me a reason and then ignored me. What do you guys think? Any advice would be amazing!! She is the love of my life!! I can’t imagine life without her!! Please help me!!
My situation is similar. We were best friends as well and we meant everything for each other. But now we are nothing. It is sad but I am forcing myself to accept that.
She is in a new relationship and I hope it is a rebound. All I can do is hope that one day she would come back.
@Martin indeed. And it hurts like hell. We know each other secrets, everything…shared everything to the point it seemed like we knew each other our whole lives, and then… And now I just see hearts and bs on her fb and all is so happy with them and great. Pisses me off so greatly that i just feel like hating on her.
I have been trying to write a message to send to her. What you guys think about this?
Hi (name)!
It’s been over a month since we last met in your place and that we haven’t spoken to each other. I honestly took some time to think about the things that happened and I actually realise that we needed some “fixing” in the relationship we had. We were having some fights (little, big, doesn’t matter), some misunderstandings, some arguments and disagreements and we should have talked through the issues, not me just trying to make it all fine and happy and not you ignoring me and letting it all on me. Not me just going to be with you, everything was happy and fine but we needed to talk, because I know the feelings were there and we let it reach a bad point. It wasn’t supposed to end, at least not the way it did and not with one of us moving on in a blink of an eye like nothing ever happened. Even today, I still wonder how. But anyway, I just wanna let you know that I wish you all the best, hope you get through your exams now and get in the university you want and be happy. What we had was the strongest, I think you are aware of it, and I know it wasn’t always easy to be with me and I know you deserve happiness. Things were said and done, mainly before I left, maybe only to comfort me and make me feel better, things that maybe I will never understand but I can’t wish you bad.
If you ever want to talk, say anything, you know where to find me. I won’t pretend you don’t exist just because you are my ex. Beyond being my girlfriend (fiancee too) for almost 4 years, you were my best friend.
I know it’s a bit bad…is it not?
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