-
Posts
-
The only thing stopping you two from being together it seems is the distance…so depending on how much she is to you have you considered relocating to where she is?
We had talked about it before all this and I had planned to relocate to her country and do my MsC there. But that would take another year, and that is being optimistic. She knew it and I was really trying to get it done until…
What I don’t understand is how she got into that relationship and it all seems serious…
That is what happens in a rebound relation. It may end soon (almost all of them do) but the distance might prevent you two from getting back together. All I say is draw up the pros and cons of continuing a relationship with her.
I mean she is far away, so is it really fair on yourself as well?
How old are you?
Archola:
Distance is a love killer, because nothing substitutes the nearnes, having your loved done by your side. I tell you by experience. My ex and I live 2 hours apart, and it has been one of the major issues because we seldom see each other and with time we developed 2 parallel lives, we grew apart in many aspects,thats why I felt so miserable throughout the years and finally decided to break up. I was going to move closer but he would not move a finger to help me,i had to look for the house,etc. That also meant an hour drive for me to work when now im only 5 minutes from my job. I work for the fed gov and he is even unemployed now and i dont find it fair i have to do the worst part but i was willing because that was part of the original agreement since his gamily owned a company in his hometown and he worked there but they sold it and now he has freedom to move.
@Martin and @Carmine828 I know that the distance is s love killer, but we lived with it. This last time I met her when we talked she said ‘you can’t keep coming here like a rabbit jumping from its hole everytime we have problems because we don’t seem to fix them’. I know she let the distance get into her but…getting in a relationship, damn.
And if you read my story, at some point, when we were together this time, she said about her new relationship ‘its not the same as what we had but…its fine’. I know she wanted me, i know she loved me..why could she just deal with the loss like I am instead of getting with someone else?I don’t know if it’s a rebound anymore, to be honest, it’s 2 months now and they seem fine. Don’t think the guy knows yet that me and her made out though.
I’m 22,she is 20. But we were madly in love, she was like let’s get engaged and you propose to me later on in some years. And we were engaged, lol.
To be honest, I don’t know if I would take her back right now. I at least wanted her to grieve, you know? I know I was very important to her, we did pretty much everything together, and I actually cried of happiness when I was with her.
And if you read that airline voucher thing, we could be together twice as more this year and could possibly spend almost all year together, as she is taking a break from her studies.And being with her back in December, doing all that, she saying those things…just scratched the wounds so much and after a month she is still in my mind all the time and I just wonder and wonder…
Archola:
I know what you mean. It worked, sort of, for me for 8 years until it worked no more. I have been closing my eyes and eaiting and making up excuses and selling to myself that I was ok but I was not. And just before we moved together, which tragically was going to happen next month, I snapped, and not even for another guy, the situation became unbearable. all was too much when I fell sick and he was not around to be with me, and I wondered if he would be with me for better or worse when we are older. the other guy being closer maybe his only asset,but its a powerful one.@Carmine828 of course I understand if she would break up with me because of the distance. What really deeply sadness me is how quickly she went to be with me…its like, we had our status on fb, pictures, etc…she removed all and 10 days later already put with that guy. Not even going through the single phase…and it wasn’t only on fb, she actually confirmed it myself. Our plans to get closer, were actually real, I had already contacted the university in her country. It’s as if everything crumbled on top of my head and every day I convince myself more and more that it’s not a rebound.
At least, I would never jump into a new relationship a couple of weeks of even couple of months after breaking up with someone, even more if that relationship was meaningfull and LTR. I would actually respect her feelings and be some time alone to get better and not bring any baggage to the new relationship. But that’s just me. And i keep overthinking this over and over again…
Archola:
I feel exactly as you. I would be very hurt and surprised if my ex would engage even in a rebound. I am not looking forward to another relationship, even though I am clear that I most probably will have to in the future. Remember that she is young and probably the distance thing was too much for her. She may have loved you but it sometimes like loving a distant relative. I dont mean she did not love you. But probably she feels safer now.
Ok, I kinda got the confirmation now that it’s not a rebound. She just deleted my sister and my cousin from her facebook, some other common friends too. Seems her new guy deleted a lot of girls he had there too, so, this kinda means they are really working together.
I want to move on. I want to forget her. Should I write something to her? Some words, anything? I’m actually crying…
Archola, I am truly sorry. I cannot think of what I would do if the moment comes that I have to face something like this. I can only say that you stop obsessing over her delete all social media related to her. Start moving on with your life. 🙁
Wait don’t do anything regretful yet.
I need to get to a PC to write a proper reply.
Give me few mins.
Don’t text or email her!
@archola I’m sorry you are upset, that’s not an easy thing to find out. Like Martin said, don’t do anything just yet. Take some time to go through your emotions before you decide to do anything. You are in high gear right now and don’t want to say or do something you may regret later. I do still believe that your ex is in rebound for a lot of reasons. There could be many reasons behind your ex’s actions and those of her new guy on fb, too. I’m not so quick to take what they are doing at face value. My first thought was trouble in paradise? The fact they are both removing people makes me think that one of them prompted it. I find it…interesting, I’m counting down until their relationship implodes. I do think it would be a good idea to stop checking in on them on fb, you are not doing yourself any favors. Focus on yourself right now.
@Martin, I haven’t. 🙂
@Nell Same time reply, heh. I haven’t wrote anything…yet, maybe I will in some weeks. And you are right, I’m in high gear right now.
About it being a rebound…I doubt it, unfortunately. And yeah, you are right, I think it might have been my ex prompting it, to be honest. Or it’s just a coincidence and one decided to clean its account and the other followed.@Nell
Since you’re only one who addressed my recent fumble with trying to establish a friendship with my ex.Do you think I should try again or all hope lost?
I had made a sarcastic comment about how she said she’s with someone who makes her “very happy” and she flipped out told me to go f*ck myself, delete her number, stop texting or she’ll block me
Confusedbutok:
I may be the only one here who advises against trying if the ex is with someone else,especially if she lashed out and insulted you that way. I would show her you have your pride too, and she cant blame you for all that went wrong. The same as with Archola, try to move on and prpbably when you are feeling better and less needy yoi can write the famous letter or text kevin talks about. Actually,thats my plan right now. After NC, the letter, the flowers, and wait until the bomb explodes. I am ready to move one way or the other. I really would like to have a renewed relationship with my ex,but if it is too toxic to continue,Ill move on.
My ex tried these past 3 months to make me carry for all the blame because after 8 years of putting up with his stupidity and inaction I snapped. Now im to blame for all. I saif No, you fucked up this long ago and continued during all these years. If i have made a decision is becauseof your inaction. And Im not going to be doormat. He finally accepted he screwed me up,and apologized last saturday. Still we are far from getting back. He swore he is with nobody,and that he would be crazy if after this he even thinks about it for a long time, I feel the same. But I wont grieve him forever Even if I continue to love him.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.