No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC

[marie0713]

I just wish he would tell me its over. Or say something to me. He said he is still in love with me and that he needs some space to grow… and when i said i dont feel like we are over he told me there were so many positives between us and that he dosent think that was the last time i would see him. The last thing he said to me was its not goodbye its see you later. Is this just space or he just trying to let me down easy ?

[marie0713]

I screwed up texted him once…. i hope to god after almost 2 monthes of trying to talk to him i havent ruined it all.

[a.z]

hey marieo713,
Don’t worry,i don’t really know you but i feel sad when i feel like you are so sad.
If he said that it wasn’t a goodbye,then it was not.don’t be so disappointed.
Doesn’t matter how hard you tried to talked to him,as long as you don’t act needy,he forgets all about that.make positive changes in your life and never stalk him on anything.continue NC and follow the plan i’m sure it will increase your chances and i really wish you best of luck.

[marie0713]

Thank you az and all I think i needed to hear what i feel in my heart. Im so happy i found a place where people believe in love.

[a.z]

Your more than welcome:)

[LA]

Just wanted to write what was on my mind today:

Tomorrow marks 30 days since the last time my ex and I engaged in a full on conversation. I still remember the day, place, and time. The look on her face when I said goodbye. I told her to take care of herself and told her to close her eyes and I kissed her goodbye(an old trick of mine. She knows what it means) she smiled and blush, for a second I felt a little spark ignite between us. Unfortunately, I would have to let it die on it own. I had smothered her with needyness and she was annoyed with it. So It was very important for us to have have some time for ourselves. NC was the only thing that could ever restore our love or let me down easy.
Next week I will be sending my letter. Anxious to know what will happen but I’m ready for anything. Ready to make things work..as ready to let go and move on forever.

Wish me luck

[LA]

My last post made thing of something. You’re thoughts are welcome

Since i went NC with my ex. My ex before her has been texting me and snap chatting me a lot. She’s been a good friend through all this. I’ve been talking to her becuase I needed to get my mind off my current ex. My old ex told me She told me she still has feeling for me but isn’t seeking a relationship so in reality we are just friends. There’s nothing there. I don’t really feel for her what I felt with my current ex. However, like I said we have been in contact this whole time. She’s been snap chatting me a lot and I to her. If you know how that app works people can see your top people you snap chat and has them ranked. She’s my top person on the list and has been this whole month. My ex can see this and I know she’s seen it. Can this ruin my chances? Since she’s not just another girl but my ex before her.

Since, I’ve seen that my ex has this guy as her top friend too. I feel she’s just trying to get back at me and is therefore talking to this guy who she also has history with.

I just realized that this can turn into mind games and that’s not what I want her to think, well at least not with my old ex.

Also did catch her with the guy she’s talking to. She’s never seen me with my old ex. I’m honestly not freaking out about this but just cerious. Let me know your thoughts

[a.z]

I love your attitude LA.when you said your ready to let go and move on it made me sure that you are really ready to contact her.and you did NC really well.
Best of luck

[LA]

Guys I need help again!

I was good, doing well my confidence was back up after my little encounter. But without me looking for it I keep seeing this guy my ex is with all the time. It’s torture. It’s killing me inside. I don’t want to care. But the fact that I’m ending NC soon is making me loose it. I was doing well and I don’t want to loose what I started on. But at the same time there is still a part of me that cares about her and old wounds are opening up. I’m sure he’s just a rebound but I can’t contain it. Just saw a picture my ex’s sister posted of this guy. Apparently she’s friends with him now. It’s making me wonder why he’s getting evolved with the family now. Please someone help me from going crazy. I’m not sure what to do. I want to text her but I don’t want to because if I do it’s going to be all needyness. I just want this out of my system.

I know what I have to do..get it together. Let all this bounce off me. I’m a confident person. I know I can do this.

The only thing that scares me is that she’s completely moved on. And is with this guy that she was talking to while we were still together. Honesty that’s what hurts me the most. I’m not sure if I should contact her tomorrow or next week. NC officially ends tomorrow but I ran into her and this guy 2 days ago and I was recommend to wait 1-2 weeks. I’m getting nervous that the more I wait the more shell get closer to this guy.

I know I have to stop thinking of this person. It’s bad for my mental health but when you stumble on these things it feels even worse.

Specially because I was just recovering from my last incident. The suspense of what she’ll say when I contact her is killing me. I’m getting the urge to skip the letter and just text her. I want all this to be over. I’m tired of going through this.

I was hanging out with my friends having a good time and I happen to get I. My phone and saw that. It ruined my whole night.

I plan on stay off of social media. I’m better off not knowing what’s happening

Sorry for rambling. I just found this out and it make me loose it again.

Please give feedback. When should I contact her. Tomorrow or next week? Should I still send the letter? I really want to text her. But maybe Im thinking this because I’m hurting right now

[LA]

I’m going to wait till next week. I’m not emotionally stable at the moment to text her. After I will send the letter and I’ll text her. Then I’ll “bump” into her at the gym. This was my original plan and it’s better that I stick to it.
For the next few days I will prepare myself for both positive and negative outcomes.

But i don’t like this suspense though. I don’t have the best patience in the world so this is killing me but I have to manage to get through it. Because at the moment there is nothing I can do but to get it together and help my self. I have to do this for the sake of my mental health.

[a.z]

hey LA,
I know exactly how you feel but don’t worry,you will feel better soon.
Have you been checking her profile on social media?if yes,you are right you should stop that,cuz it really does stop you from improving.
I suggest you to continue NC for 2 more weeks and stop stalking her on social media.
check the checklist below and this is kevin’s advice.

Here’s a checklist for ending no contact.

-You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.
-You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
-You have made a few positive changes in your life.
-You are absolutely sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
-You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
-You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you.
-You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.

If you don’t satisfy this after 30 days, continue no contact for another 30 days.

[LA]

Thank you az,

It all happened so fast. I’m stating of social media. I wasn’t stalking her but I stumbled on a picture her sister posted. But like I said I’m staying off that now. I know I have to be strong. I want to be able to tell her that if she decides to stay with this other person I’m ok with that and play it cool with out loosing it.

Thanks again

[Loraina]

IA- I’m sorry you had to deal with that! Cutting out social media seems like a good idea as long as emotions are still running high sometimes. It definitely doesn’t help stability. I glad you chose to extend things a little longer, I’m sure that’ll really help you in the end!

I had a hard day yesterday. A good friend told me that he was crying on her shoulder about everything ending but that he kept saying that he made his decision and knows he has to stick with it… The information hurt so bad that I felt like I couldn’t breathe for a bit. The good person in me wants to reach out and tell him it’ll be ok but the rest of me sits here completely confused by that reaction, especially since I know he’s seeing someone else now. It’s been about a month since it ended and we haven’t actively spoken in over a week other than yesterday. I ended up having to tell him that I’m taking time away. No one has volunteered information about his reaction to that and I sincerely hope they don’t bring it up. I’m worried about being able to stay with NC like I’m planning but I know it’ll be the best thing for me.

[LA]

Loraina,

Thank you. And yes I there’s no other choice. It’s all I can do for the moment. Also I know what you mean when you hear or stumble on information about your ex. Feels like your hart drops. I was so frustrated when I bumped into my ex and saw some pictures. But ultimately we owe it to our selves to get right back up. I don’t know about you but I have a tendency to over think things and start making assumptions that may or may not be true. When this happens its bad for my mental health. It keeps me from being happy again. I hope you find the strength to get back up from all this.

Also feels good to know someone is going through something similar as me. We’re not alone haha. Wish you the best, we can do this!

[Loraina]

I over think things too and it’s one of my biggest problems in this situation right now! The whole concept of him saying he loves me but is afraid he’d make himself commit to my kids and I before he’s ready for it kind of makes my head spin a little. I keep thinking, “So slow down then, I don’t want that right now either, we were both so happy!”, but it doesn’t change things and then the circling starts up again. I’ve learned how to distract myself from it most of the time but it keeps popping up after hearing about him in tears over it last night. We’ll get through it though!

[Author]

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