No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC

[Martin]

Hey Everyone,

I would like your opinion in this.

On last monday I broke NC on the 18th day because I had to. When I spoke to her I knew she was upset and sad. She is probably confused and conflicted but she thinks we are unsuitable just because we have had a few arguments. My ex is a bit stubborn but I feel that her mind chooses someone else but her heart would choose me.

She does not want to meet me because she of the feelings being rekindled and she wants to move on and start dating this guy.

Now I would like to get back with her because we both we really happy together. After having broken NC I have no instated it yet as I feel I need to give her a bit of attention in same doses before fully taking it away from her again. Last time we spoke she might have concluded that it was a bad idea to get in touch with me as I might have overreacted a bit and told her that I am feeling bad. I hope I did not come across as too needy or clingy but there is a chance that I have given such an impression.

Any advice?

[hayz]

@martin

Relationship rewind is what Kevin recommends using, in his first email he recommends buying it. Did you sign up for the emails?
It’s the step 5 of the 5 step plan. He sends emails and it was in my first email. Google it if you can’t find it.

[Martin]

@hayz

thanks. Is there a way I could take a look at it without buying it?

[hayz]

Hi I dont think you can view it without buying it. Google it and read about it and what people say.

[Frankie]

Hey Guys. Been half broke up with my girlfriend of 18 months for around 3 months after she said she wanted to be free for a bit, but still spoke to each other and slept together now and again. Things came to a head and we officially broke up at the weekend after she decided not to come on a holiday I had booked when we were together. I told her all my feelings and that on Saturday, begged her to give me another chance and of course nothing happened.

I took a different route on Sunday and decided to start NC, I have received around 4/5 messages a day from her, but today on the 4th day she has told me she is moving away to the other end of the country in a few weeks and wants to talk for 5 minutes with me. At no point in any messages, does she seem to give off any vibe that she wants me back and seems to believe more that im still sad and ignoring her because of she didnt come on holiday rather than im ignoring her because im moving on. I dont know what to do, do I reply or stick to the plan and let her move to the other end of the country and never see her again?

Help guys/ gals

[hayz]

@frankie
I’d probably wait, give it a week or so, maybe she won’t ho yet, could she be bluffing? Maybe she won’t make a drastic decision just yet.
Keep up the no contact for a bit longer, she wants you to reply so don’t do it yet.
I am on day 21 of nc and I know its hard. I am not even in the same country as my ex as I had to return home for 6 months and he is returning to his home country soon but started seeing another girl even though they are from different countries and seems hard for them to stay together. I think nc is best, you have already told her all you feel so what else can be said to change her mind? and it’s her that has to realise it, if you beg and plead and say you want her back and to give you another chance then you’ll seem needy and clingy.
I know its a risk but best not to break nc, dont think you’ll achieve anything and its not like she couldn’t return.
Maybe chat to a mutual friend and ask when is she leaving. But don’t tell them that you want her back as it may get back to her.

Stay strong, hopefully it’ll be worth it.

[Martin]

Hey Everyone,

I am the only person my ex (22 years old) has had a physically relationship with and i am 22 years old as well and the same; has only been with her.

Last night I have reasons to believe that my ex had sex with someone else and she is still probably with him on his still.

I feel like killing myself.

4 years old love and friendship which I cherished has now just disappeared. I feel numb and or just pain. I don’t like this.

Martin

[SodiumC]

@Martin

You and I both know that our situations are similar mate, so what I can say to you is to just keep your chin up. My ex slept with her new guy before we even officially broke up, and believe me I took it really hard at the time. All you can do is accept that it’s something that can happen, particularly if you’ve been her only sexual partner which was the same for me & my ex. I know it’s hard not to think about it but the sooner you accept it, the sooner you can move past it. Humans will forever be seeking for more than one sexual partner, it is simply how we are programmed.

Try and get yourself into a place where you can feel comfortable being ‘you’ again. If anything, the NC I’ve done this month has helped me move past what she is doing and start concentrating on my own life a bit more. It’s her birthday tomorrow and I’m quite confident I can resist the temptation to contact her – she knows my feelings and it’s up to her to either dwell on it or attempt to move on like I’m doing.

Absolutely anything can happen in the future when it comes to love and life – if you keep an open mind about things it’ll help you move forward, promise! 🙂

[confusedbutok]

Hey guys, here’s my situation

So we technically broke up about 3 1/2 weeks ago. Strangest break up yet, I expressed a concern and she got defensive. Two weeks go by and she brings it up again and says I was just attacking her personality and that she wants to feel like I’m not going to leave her every 5 min.

Few days later I mentioned something else she did that I didn’t approve of, then she just ended things via text. Week and 1/2 go by and I contact her about getting my stuff. I go by on a Friday night and we talked about the break up in person where I preceded to explain that I may have been a little out of line, that I wasn’t 100% convinced that a relationship like we had could be so good and subconsciously I was looking for flaws, but good thing we broke up because it helped me realize I was doing that.

She was stubborn and said she’s glad I figured that out but she’s sticking to her decision. So I said ok that’s fine I’m not going to convince you to be with me. I then changed the mood and got her into a better one, where I even was flirting and she wasn’t rejecting it. I even kissed her when I left and she just smiled.

The plan was now for me to go up next weekend to get my stuff, so I go and she ?was so hasty and basically said “so what do you have here?” I’m meeting friends in 30 min. In the process I playfully would poke her and then she finally said “stop touching me” so I said ok. Got my stuff, she was super chatty and talking fast like she was nervous. I was polite, we hugged and I said “good luck with everything” she says “if we don’t talk, merry xmas” and I replied “and a happy new year” and went on my way.

Anyone think there’s any hope here? My question for “no contact” is, what if she reaches out on the holidays with a “merry xmas” or “happy new year” do I ignore the texts or politely say “thanks merry xmas”?

[Martin]

@SodiumC

Sorry for the really late reply! Indeed, our situation is really similar! Well my ex did not cheat on me so technically she has not done anything wrong but she broke up with me because she got a crush of this guy. She also not told me that she is officially dating someone or has slept with him yet; I only found this information through snooping around. But I know that she has moved on sort of.

Beginning of the week, where I think she slept with him, she asked me if I had slept with anyone or have been dating anyone; I told her I would never sleep with anyone I do not love and only have been just casually/hanging out with girls. She sounded upset when she asked.

Anyway I have not spoken to her since the day I suspect her to have hooked up with him. She has not done anything wrong but I doubt she would ever want to come back to me because of the guilt. I have been on no contact since and I don’t think I ever want to talk to her as I know she dating someone but she thinks that I do not know this.

I have a feeling this is a GIGS…and I am not sure if she is in rebound or not because this is quite soon to be honest.

[Athens]

To everyone,

Guys I wish you all a happy merry Christmas! Let us enjoy this holiday with or without our exes. Let us be merry in this festive day of the year.

I also wish you guys an advance Happy New Year. May the coming year be more fruitful and happy for us. Whatever may come our ways.

xx

[SodiumC]

Well said Athens, also my sentiments 🙂

@Martin I was actually beginning to worry mate, but I’m glad that you didn’t do anything silly 😛 as I’ve said to you before your situation certainly seems more hopeful than mine. I’m convinced that my ex thinks that her new guy is the one she should’ve been with from the start so in that sense ‘moving on’ is literally the only thing I can do, and whatever happens in the future happens. Take a step back from the situation for a couple of weeks and enjoy your christmas & new year with your family, then start 2015 with a fresh outlook 🙂

[aryyan]

Merry Christmas and happy holiday everyone. 🙂 i hope everything that we been through will be alright soon and good in progression.

[SL11]

I broke it last night. The 5th day. Just sent him a Merry Christmas text and went against my own advice and continued a conversation with him. He said he wasn’t doing too well, isn’t going how he planned, he thinks he might have made a mistake in ending it, that he was falling hard for me but wanted to protect me from himself and his flaws. He then asked where does this leave us? And of course I replied I don’t know because I don’t! I don’t know what he wants anymore.

Later last night I snapped, I texted him asking if we could meet up and talk (about what I have no idea, maybe figure all this out). He said yes we can, just pick a day. Then I went into how I was weak and looked desperate which he told me I didn’t, that he doesn’t see this or me like that. He told me to ease my mind and let him know when and we can meet up.

Friend kinda got mad at me told me I wouldn’t be able to do it, I’m not strong enough yet. So i sent him a message saying we shouldn’t but I want to know his opinion. He said If I want to meet and talk in person he is willing to do that. So Saturday I’m set to meet him. We continued talking about random things here and there. Talking like we’re friends basically. Should I try out the Relationship Rewind and establish a false friendship when I see him on Saturday and then go back into no contact? Should I cancel Friday and just continue no contact?

I know I’m new to here but I could really use some help and advice. I’m clearly no good at this no contact thing and could just use some support.

Thanks guys (and gals)!

[hayz]

@SL11

Maybe try the false friendship thing, see how things go when you meet and try and be strong and cool when you see him.
Have a stiff drink before you see him to settle your nerves or put some happy nice music on or a comedy something to put you in a good mood before seeing him.
Try and think about what you want too if you think it would be good to get back together or whether you guys should just be friends for a while and just hangout to see how things go. Chat about it with him.

[Author]

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