Boards › No Contact Rule › No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC
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August 30, 2014 at 10:29 pm #5582
Athens,
or what i did wrong. like she said i did nothing wrong and there wasn’t anyone else but then she says she wasn’t feeling it with me? after saying she was happy the whole time we were together? like what was i doing/not doing that she didn’t believe in?
i find that “miss me” by andy grammer really helps haha
August 30, 2014 at 10:37 pm #5584DanMurphy,
Yeah i understand. Its just it sucks that they gave us a lot of reasons, you have a hard time figuring it out which one is true. Because yeah when youre still with then they’re so happy and in love and it seems like nothing is wrong but then they just snapped and they dont want you anymore. What is that a book?August 30, 2014 at 11:03 pm #5587song
August 31, 2014 at 1:57 am #5612DanMurphy,
Do you mean the NC situation or the the whole break up thing?
August 31, 2014 at 2:00 am #5613Guys
Can anyone please answer meAugust 31, 2014 at 3:01 am #5615Morvarid,
Don’t be that hard on yourself. You saw him in a such vulnerable state and apparently you felt there was hope or something. I am not saying though that there isn’t. You just need to give it time. What you need to do now is to restart NC. It seems hard but you have to do it. Even if he responds to your text be the bigger person and tell him that you need some space.
Don’t worry, we r here for you…August 31, 2014 at 4:27 am #5618Dear Julia
Thank you so much for your words.I feel like I should stay on NC for good. There’s no hope. He’s just a totally different person. I know that he still loves me but I’m like a good memory to him. Besides he didn’t give me an specific reason for the break up and he just said we aren’t each other’s person. After 10 years of closeness and supporting, I’m having a hard time to let go. And it makes it so much harder knowing that he’s living his normal life. How long do u think should stay on NC?August 31, 2014 at 4:36 am #5619Morvarid,
In my opinion there is no specific period for NC. The day where you will feel happier without your ex and more confident then you can contact him. I am following a 3 month (maybe more..) of strict NC but that doesn’t mean when I finish I will contact him. On the contrary I want HIM to initiate contact.
Just because your ex looks that he’s living a normal life doesn’t mean he isn’t hurting. I mean you were together for 10 years. You know him better than everyone here. If you feel he is worth it, then apply NC now!
You can do it!August 31, 2014 at 4:44 am #5621I’m have a really difficult time with no contact. Like he’s deleted me off social media and stuff. I seriously love him so much, I’ve felt sick since we haven’t been together. I can’t even eat anything. Its only been a few days but I just want a hug from him. I was talking to my dad and he’s like “you can resuscitate a dead corpse” referring to my ex and our relationship. It’s killing me
August 31, 2014 at 4:47 am #5623Julia
Actually I’m not confortably contacting him at all. I’ve done my part and he just walked away. He’s so scared of seeing me or talking to me. Like the other day during our visit, he said that he once saw me in a gas station, but he had hided so I don’t see him. He’s escaping from me cause ( in my opinion) he think he made the right choice and seeing me may mess up his head. He kept saying that I didn’t wanna see you so soon or in near future. I got confused cause he was talking with a sad tone and he was looking at me like something very valuable that he can’t have. When I asked him y didn’t u give us a chance, he said I gave my self 100 chances. It’s like he thinks he doesn’t deserve me but still can’t walk the line. That’s so confusing. I just can’t figure out if it’s the “the grass is greener”syndrome or he’s tired of me or what. What do u think it is?August 31, 2014 at 4:53 am #5624Morvarid,
I have almost the same questions about my ex. One thing is for sure, they’r confused as well. I am sure it’s a quite emotional period for him as well. The only solution, at least for now, is to give him space and time. Focus on you, no matter how hard that looks now… 😉
August 31, 2014 at 8:43 am #5633julia
what i was asking was how did your story end?
August 31, 2014 at 8:56 am #5636DanMurphy,
Basically he broke up with me cause my attitude was quite erratic (I can be quite moody) plus he got sooooo much pressure from his work. The last six months we barely went out due to his hectic work hours.
Unfortunately I didn’t handle the situation that well at the beginning of our break up. During our relationship I wasn’t expressing my feelings that often. So when we were breaking up I tried to express all these feelings in an awkward and desperate way. For the first two months I was basically contacting him every 2 weeks 🙁
I wasn’t bombarding him with hundreds of texts and calls of course. But basically I didn’t give him the space he wanted. I guess my behaviour pushed him away.
But from the moment I found out he is seeing someone else I decided to follow NC for at least 3 months. So far 45 days. It’s rough!……..August 31, 2014 at 10:07 am #5639Morvarid,
I can somehow relate to you, I have been with my ex for 7 and a half years and we were engaged when we broke up. Your ex’s behaviour is a bit like mine. Sometime he told me that we should move on, sometimes he said he didn’t deserve me. Actually what I think is that he may think he’s right to make the decision to break up, but then after being together for such a long time, sometimes he felt weak and missed you. He tried to avoid seeing you, so that he can avoid facing his emotion. As Julia said, he is confused too, so it’s a good idea to start NC again until you are ready to see him, and don’t try to figure out what he’s thinking, maybe even he himself doesn’t know that!!
And don’t be too harsh on yourself. It’s really normal you still have a soft-heart for your ex. I guarantee you that I have done more stupid things than you did for the past two years after I broke up with my ex. Nothing is more stupid than I have to take two years to realize that I should start NC and clear my mind instead of staying around him. I know how hard it is to let go the person whom you have been with such a long time, so you have done a great job so far and hang in there, and we all here to support you.
Athens,
Yes I have broken up with my ex for two years and just started NC recently…sounds really embarrassed…I hope I have found this website earlier…:P
August 31, 2014 at 12:27 pm #5660DanMurphy,
My situation ended up with my realizing that I didn’t feel the same about my ex anymore. Don’t get me wrong I surprisingly find myself thinking of her but that’s just becuase I still care about her.
I sent the letter and ran into her couple days later. Long story short she had turned into someone else. She rambled about staying up late and her mom wondering where she is, spending her all her money (she was promoted recently) god knows what else.
Physically she looked terrible. I wasn’t attracted to her in anyway. Ultimately it reminded me that I had a huge problem with her “decision making”. Huge that I would have probably broken up with her on my Owen if she hadn’t.
In addition, I also saw that NC had made me into someone that I’m proud of and I don’t need someone with a careless life style in my life.
I followed up with her by text but it only proved what I already knew.
The only difficulty I have with completely moving on is that she is seeing someone. I know she’s not dating him but she’s dafinatly talking to someone. She had this person ready for a rebound before we broke up.
What helps me is that I know she didn’t leave me for him. We both mutually tried to make things work after the break up..she could have easily finished things for good with me and would have left with this guy (not to be mean but he’s not the best looking) but she didn’t.
It’s been about 3 months since break up 2 months since we last spoke with thoughts in getting back together
That’s my story hope it helps you with something
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