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Posts
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Athens,
In every book I’ve read, NC is an important time to work on yourself so there’s worth to be found with both you and your ex. If you get employment, your confidence is bound to go up. Then, you can not only work on your internal self, but the exterior as well..becoming more confident as the changes are made. I just read today that in most cases, when we improve ourselves, it makes our partners want to try and attempt to deserve us as partners. It kind of made me feel better about NC. As I’ve stated, I’m afraid my ex will not work on herself. Meanwhile, I’m doing everything in my power to better myself. I know I shouldn’t concentrate on her at all, but what I read today gave me hope that if I concentrate on myself and show that genuine change has occurred on my end..she will surely follow. Keeping the faith! 🙂
SuzyLou
i have the same concerns and what happens if that happens? like if we change and our exes don’t? I still am not sure whether she even knows why she left me, i dont. But at the same time i just dont think she will change :/
Hi everyone,
I hope all you of are hold up and following through your NC.
Had a few things on my head today, it’s been bugging me so I just want to get it off my chest and this is the place for it.
As many of you know I ended NC and realized there was no hope for me and my ex. I realized that she wasn’t the person I fell in love with anymore.
I’ve been moving on ever since. It’s not easy but I’ve managed. I no longer have an interest in her anymore let’s make that clear…but..I can’t help to thing what could have been if we would have stayed together. Everyday that goes by I understand more and more why we broke up. I understand her side of the story. Overall, the more excruciating thing about this is that I KNOW how I could have saved my relationship. This is what makes me wonder what if. It’s torment. Maybe she wouldn’t of become the person she’s Turing into today..or right now, if I had known sooner. It’s been about 3 months since the break up and 2 months since we spoke to each other with those last feelings of love.
The fact that she’s seeing someone else so soon also makes it difficult to go about my day. The fact that she didn’t wait..is what hurts..Or more like stings.
These two things make me wonder sometimes throughout my day. I’ve been keeping busy but just when I thought I got my mind off it. There it is. It’s always there.
Good thing is that for the past month I’ve been able to get my full hours of sleep and got my appetite again. I’m happy about that.
I’ve also been actively talking to girls. I think I talk to them more than my guy friends. What’s weird is that I can’t seem to fall for any that I’ve met so far. None have impressed me and no matter how much I try to get into them I can’t. Sometimes I think “well just keep looking and maybe you’ll find someone when you least expect it” other times I think “what’s your rush, you know you don’t want a relationship right now”
It’s crazy, but I guess I miss the companionship I had with my ex but I know I can’t find it with someone else without a doubt. But where is this person?
Typing all this is making me realize that I might just be feeling lonly haha. I’m an out going guy likes to do things out of the house. So it makes sense why I like comanionship
Lastly, this might sound dumb but becuase it shouldn’t matter to me anymore but I wonder if she still thinks of me..is it a dumb question to ask? I mean it’s been 2 months since we last had a real connection. Is she really having the time of her life with this new guy that she’s forgotten about me…I mean, I don’t want to be with her anymore and she still pops in my mind sometimes.
There’s days where sometimes I just get angry at how our break went and I begin to have a hypathetical argument with my ex in my head…I need to stop thinking about how things ended between us…the truth is that it happened the way it happened. It’s over, it’s done, why dig up old graves?
Sometimes it’s better to stop thinking, stop imagining, stop obsessing, and stop wondering and just hope that everything worked out for the best.
This makes me think a lot of my future wife, who she is and where she maybe.
To my future wife: My love, where ever you are, where ever you maybe…hang in there, I’m coming as fast as I can.
SORRY ITS SO LONG BUT IF I DONT GET THIS OUT OF MY HEAD IT WILL DROWN ME LOL. Thanks everyone! Stay strong!
So 6th day without contact but tomorrow my ex is going through a medical procedure that isn’t life threatening but it’s still important to her. and I’m not sure whether it is the right thing to send a short text or even call her about how it went. she broke it off after 3 years together because she wanted to work on herself and didn’t think it was a good idea to be in a relationship in the moment because she doesn’t know what she wants. plus it doesn’t help that in the past few months we’ve been bickering and arguing a bit but nothing too serious. we ended on a good note we were even intimate before i left. i was even going to sleep over that nightbut after making love she basically fell asleep crying and after she did my head was spinning and my first reaction and thoughts were I need to leave now. So i did. and when I got home she called me freaking out crying where I went. I told her I couldn’t stay and told her i loved her and hung up. well this was on wednesday of last week and went NC until friday evening which was when I called her to tell her that I was going to delete my social networks and take some time to heal.( I didn’t mention that i was also planning on not contacting her via text or call) I told her I understood her decision and that I can’t be waiting for her to decide when it convenient to be with me and i told her that i want the best for her and to take care (during this I was very calm and rational minded) she began to break down and tell me that she loves me and wants the best for me too and then she told me she missed me and I told her that I’d call her to see howthe procedure went and she said she’ll also check in on me to see how my first days of school went. we said good bye and that was it. i decided to restart NC all over which leaves me on the 6th day of NC today. Since then she has deleted our couple pics and I did as well and deleted my facebook. she hid her relationship status and has been posting plenty of things according to a friend but just her hanging out and stuff not with other guys or partying. I have been busy with work college hitting the gym and going out this past week it still hurts but I feel great on certain days. What should I do about contacting her about her procedure tommorow? I dont want her to think that i dont care and also i did tell her i’d check in….but at the same time she told me she would ask how school went since its my first week of college in a long time( returning student) but its already thursday and she hasnt contacted me so maybe I should continue NC????? help…I still care about her especially her health.
L.A
I can so relate to your story (well at some parts). Today it’s been a tough day for me simply because it’s just one of these days.And even though it’s my 43 day of NC, today it feels like day 1.
I must say I am very proud of you and I admire you for being that confident and decisive. Clearly you successfully passed the last stage. But there are always some moments of weakness. You are only human and you had deep feelings for your ex. But you have made a remarkable progress.
The fact that our exes moved on (or at least that’s what it looks like) hurts deeply. Even if it’s a rebound relationship. Who cares? Still it’s painful. I recently found myself hating him for this and feel very angry.
I really hope someday to become that strong as you. Keep up! And thanks for sharing!LA
you ask if she still thinks about you. I would say yes. Not in the same way you are though since she’s the one that ended it. And i don’t know your story so i really don’t know. But no matter what you will never forget each other. I talked to my first true love the other day and we had a HORRIBLE high school break up, i told her what was going on and that i fell i didn’t handle myself with this girl in the best way but that i did a lot better than i did when i was in high school. I asked this girl (the first true love) how she would remember me, and (aside from each others virginity) she said “i’d probably just say you were my ex in my freshman year of high school”. That was 5 years ago (im 2 years older than her) but was probably the best thing because despite the good and bad i now know with every serious relationship they may stop thinking about you but you will never be forgotten.
SuzyLou,
Thank you. I appreciate what you have said, its been pretty tough for me lately. Idk why maybe because yeah I feel down being unemployed and other stuff that is going on with my life. And yeah i’ve been aggressively applying here and there to have a job. Being in here helps a lot its keeping me sane these days. Lol. And hopefully you and your ex mend what you have.SuzyLou,
Thank you. I appreciate what you have said, its been pretty tough for me lately. Idk why maybe because yeah I feel down being unemployed and other stuff that is going on with my life. And yeah i’ve been aggressively applying here and there to have a job. Being in here helps a lot its keeping me sane these days. Lol. And hopefully you and your ex mend what you have. Keep strong man, you can do it! 🙂L.A – Wow, I totally get your thinking. I feel that the questions you are asking are the same ones going through my head every day also.
I look back and realise the mistakes I made in the relationship and wish I was given the opportunity to rectify them. I also wonder if my Ex thinks about me. I know she probably doesn’t obsess over me like I do her. But do I enter her thoughts at all during the day. I would like to think yes, but I don’t know
Like you, I miss the companionship I had with my Ex, nothing beats having someone to talk to when you get home at night after a rough day. Coming home to an empty house like I am at the moment isn’t that great and while my friend ‘Jack Daniels’ is a good listener to me talking, he doesn’t say much back 😛 Its night after night after night coming back to a lonely house that is really getting to me
Thanks for sharing LA and I get where you are at
So like I said 6 days of NC and I decided to text my girl friend about her procedure tommorow. I texted her “hey good luck with your colonoscopy tomorrow hope everything turns out well” and she replied within a minute saying “thanks for remembering, hope it goes well too!” But that’s it she didn’t ask about how school went for me or asked me anything….is she really moving on this fast after 3 year!? I know it doesn’t make sense but its still driving me crazy. I’m continuing NC but I feel like I cheated already and it hasnt even been a week.
Hi guys. Wow I’m on day 12 of NC and everybody around me is telling me to message her, just a hi how you doing… My gutt says I shouldn’t.
Monday is our anniversary. Hope it makes her wonder. How do you guys get over the terrible feeling in your stomach? Let me explain. She is the love of my life, she has invaded every part of my life, I get reminders on my laptop, ipad because she set them up, all contacts on my phone have weird pictures because she messed them up. I look at any piece of item I own she had some part in the way it looked or it’s modifications.
I know she broke up with me because of my insecurities and I’m working on them BUT she has blocked any access between us, everybody is telling me she did that because she knew you’d look (very technologically advanced) but even on whatsapp I’ve been blocked. I obviously know ways of still messaging her but why block me. iMessage, whatsapp, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, viber and I don’t even know if my calls and SMS s can go through because I haven’t tried. Feels like the NC is pointless because she blocked me anyway… What do you guys think.
I am the first guy she loved and we were amazing together, we were best friends and soul mates and now she just posts pictures with her long childhood girlfriend and hashtags BFF all the time.
Midnight,
The key to all of this is.. don’t analyze her and what she says. Only analyze yourself and find where you can improve your life and yourself. If you sit around thinking into everything (Like I have plenty of times) it will only hurt you and stifle your progress. Keep up NC. Good luck
Morning all. Here is my update. My ex is telling everybody that his head, heart and health can’t take one more round with me. I feel so helpless. Wish there was something I could do to make him see how much I truly love him and want this to work this time.
Julia and Steve,
Thanks guys, I know that we can relate to each other since we have similar stories. I’m happy I found you guys, good to know that we can get through this together.
Julia, your words always keep me going. I remember those days where it feels like all your progress has gone out the window and feels like day one. In a nutshell, those day suck! Haha. Be strong, it’s only temporary pain. Write what your feeling here, it really helps relieve your pain and also know that I’ll be here to read them
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