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Julia,
Yes, when I first found out my hart dropped. There’s more to the story but I want bring that up. No reason to bring back those memories. But like you, my ex isn’t in a relationship either but I know she’s been using him for her insecurities.
Be strong Julia, you’re doing well. Like I said, if you feel they are worth it than regardless if they are seeing someone they maybe still worth fighting for. In my case my ex put me through a lot when we broke up. It takes a real witch to push an honest and loyal person to the point that they don’t give a crap anymore.
I don’t know if you’ve sent your letter yet but you won’t truly know what whether your ex is worth it or not until you initiate contact. I sent my letter and ran into her couple days later. That’s when I knew I no longer loved her. I even texted her a couple times after and that just confirmed what I already knew.
Wish you the best, stay strong
L.A
Frankly I don’t know if I should send the letter. Yes he is worth it. But I need him to make the first step. Especially when I have put all this effort at the beginning of our breakup (in a very clumsy and sometimes desperate way). I have a long road though. I have two more months of NC. I may change my mind till then.
Remind me pls, did she respond to your letter and how?
I am struggling with no contact today especially after I know he told someone he has had enough with me and can’t go there again. I am the one who left him twice and then he begged me back and I wouldn’t budge and now that I would like another chance he won’t budge. Oh the irony!! He has been liking things on my facebook page. I don’t know how long ago he said the above about me. He is supposedly seeing his ex from 11yrs ago and I say supposedly now cause I am the only one that seems to know about this. He hasn’t even told his closest friends he is seeing her again. I am afraid he thinks he is giving me a taste of my own medicine. Stay strong everybody I enjoy reading each and every one of your posts. Good to know I am not alone.
Julia,
I did the same things after my break up. I did all the work to show my ex there was still a chance. So I understand where you’re coming from.
I wrote her the letter. A strong one but didn’t ask her to come back because I didn’t want to come out as needy again. Just reminded her that I’ve always thought she was special. And asked for her friendship. I was planning to start a false friendship.
When I ran into her couple days later. I could tell she was excited to see me as she stopped me to have a conversation. She told me that she had received the letter and I could tell she was anxious to know some things I mentioned in the letter. So I told her.
She began to ramble as she talked to me, that didn’t so much bother me but she began to brag that she’s been going out and getting home late and has been spending all her money (she recently was promoted).
She sounded very immature and annoying. Also she had told me she had stopped working out and running and I was able to tell from her physic.
I on the other hand have been working on myself so much to the point that I felt that I didn’t need not just her but someone with her life style in my life. I had realized that I have changed during this time and so has she and it was best that we go our separate ways.
I can tell you this though, Kevin does right in another article about getting your ex back when they are seeing someone else, that it’s best to just text them after NC. It’s faster response and saves times unlike writing a letter.
However, you know your ex. In my situation, my ex is very stubborn and I know she would never contact me even if she was missing me (and she was from what I heard). Overall, you know what’s best for your situation. I think your ex contacting you isn’t a bad idea. If he does it means that he’s been thinking of you and come on let’s face it, it’s the least he can do for everything you went through haha.
Well wish you the best please keep us updated on what happens
L.A,
Your advice is indeed valuable. My ex is not the stubborn type. I feel that if he wants to contact me, he will ..(I hope)
But if you send a text instead of a letter you cannot possibly say all these things. It has to be casual right?
Unfortunately there is no way I can find out if he still sees that person or not.
Well I have time till then.
Thank you so much L.A!!Julia,
No problem. Sorry for long messages I want you to get all the info that may be useful to you.
This was the article I read by Kevin as well. I recommend it!
How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Even If She Has Another Boyfriend
L.A,
Don’t apologise. You have no idea how much you’r helping me here. Thank you for being that concise :)))
hey guys,
ironically im not struggling with the no contact today (day 1 attempt 3) after yesterday and i thitnk it might be because i realize i’ve ruined any chances we may have had
thoughts?
DanMurphy,
It’s way too soon to make assumptions. The only thing you can do now is to apply NC. I suggest for more than a month. Do not contact her pls!You are too emotional and you can’t think straight. I know cause I’ve been there. Trust me, things will be better day by day.
Julia
honestly all i can really ever hope for with her anymore is a friendship
this girl was my bestfriend so its not me bargaining or anything i just feel she lost any love she had for me after i didn’t shut up. I know im not thinking straight but i think even after nc id be better off just hoping to be friends and that she doesn’t hate me
DanMurphy,.
For the time being you focus on your self and follow the NC plan. You don’t know how things will work out in a couple of months. Have patience! Everyone is here for you..
Thank you so much dear AndyK for your response. Actually some new things happened just a couple hours before and I desperately need advice from you guys. Is someone online? Please guys it’s urgent
julia,
everyone says that and i honestly get that but everything i was doing (going back to college to get a real job, finding a bs part time job to start saving up for my own place, trying to quit smoking) were things that only she and my mom pushed me, believed in me to do. So even if i focus on that (which is hard now because i think why am i doing this? oh right :/) what good is that in 3-4 months when its like i did the stuff id already planned to do? and assuming she will rebound date, should i?
Hi everyone 🙂
I was busy studying these days until August ends…
Just wanna to say: hang in there!!! 🙂
I know we all can do this!
Hey all 🙂
Today’s two weeks for me, it’s been a tougher day. I know today was his first day back at classes and I really wish I could have wished him luck and asked how it was. I’ve been going through changes and every time, no matter how small it is, he’s the person I want to tell. It’s tough when the one person you always talked to can’t or won’t talk to you anymore! I know he will eventually, but I’m an impatient person. Something else I need to work on. 🙂
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