No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC

[Khine]

Jamez,
You may feel sad now . I understand. I also passed my BD after break up.

[Khine]

Hey guys.,

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Your-Ex-Back

Just try it out this link . It’s like Kevin’s advice. But Kevin’s advices are more detail and best. Whatever, just for a few weeks is not enough, we need to do NC more.

[Angie]

Hi! I am new here. I have a unique situation I wanna share and get peoples take on it and advice. I have known my ex for 17 yrs and we have been together for the past 6 years. We weren’t only boyfriend/girlfriend we were best friends. The first few years were great then he started having an issue with drinking and I left him several times and this last time which has been since February I guess was the last straw for him. He is now dating his ex from 11 yrs ago who he was with for 7 years but she cheated on him more than once and had some pretty crazy behavior. I recently found out she also cheated on her last boyfriend too. Well my ex claims he is happy and has moved on and he and I are done and has said some pretty hurtful things to me. I have tried no contact and he always does something for me to text like commenting on a mutual friend of ours post on facebook agreeing with something she said that was obviously directed to me. I want him back and wanna fix this but he says I should have thought about that before leaving all those times and not being there for him when he got his DUI. He is obviously still so very hurt and angry with me. Not sure what I should do next. Any suggestions I would be grateful for and also he is acting very out of character and not really talking to his friends and family that much. Part of me feels like his actions are to punish me for the choices I made.

[Khine]

Don’t tell him to stop contact with his ex or new gf. Ppl want to do it more if someone say not to do that. Because I did this mistake and I don’t want you to do this mistake like me. So, you are in your NC ? Other fris will tell you more advice. Sorry i need to go home now. See ya.

[Angie]

I haven’t told him to stop contact. I did remind him of her cheating ways but he never commented on it. Have a feeling he may be over exaggerating things with the ex. He works third shift and if he isn’t working or sleeping he is on facebook liking my posts or liking the same things I like. NC is tricky for me at first I did the big no no and send him texts and fb messages trying to win him back. There has only been a week I haven’t contacted him. I gotta do better with it. Hopefully with this board and Kevin’s emails I can do much better. Thanks for the advice. Will take all I can get at this point.

[Daniel]

Angie,
Cut all contact. Focus on healing yourself first. Block him on everything its gonna be hard now but thisnis for yourself healing. It will get better in time. You cant control him. Dont get affected by his simple comments it will only show hom how weak you are. Keep it strong. Goodluck!

[sunshinegirl]

khine –
Thank you for the link! It helps me stay positive! I think the external link is prohibited tho, Kevin may remove it soon 🙁

Day 11 for me –
I feel like what you are thinking before bed is so critical! I was talking about my ex to my roommate that I really couldn’t understand why he even didn’t give us a second chance, which made me upset a lot. And when I woke up this morning, the miserable feeling was haunting me again. Gosh I need to think positive things before bed!

Since the way I woke up, my morning was not perfect.. But I found reading Kevin’s 5 step plan and his emails can always make me calm and rational. I do recommend that to everyone here! 🙂 When I was confused or upset, I was so emotional that I wanted to call him to ask why. But hey that’s not the right thing to do!

I’ll copy some words from the 5 step plan here:
“What if my ex moves on during the no-contact? What if my ex meets someone and get married during no contact? What if my ex forgets about me during no contact?
Good questions. And the answer to all of them is NO, THEY WON’T.

If you and your ex were in any type of serious relationship, then they will not be able to move on so quickly. In fact, no contact is only going to make them miss you more and remember the good things about you. You have to take a leap of faith over there. The alternative to no contact is being a creep and texting and stalking your ex all the time, which will probably lead to a restraining order against you. You really don’t have much of an option.”

Hope everyone is having a great day! Back to study! Yay!

[sunshinegirl]

Angie –
I agree with others! You need time to heal, I know it’s hard but we will get better!

All the people here are going through the same thing, you’re not alone!

[Angie]

Don’t really wanna block him. We have so many of the same friends. This is really hard. Wonder if someone can really rebound back to an ex. Makes no sense to me the whole time we were together he had nothing good to say about her and told me he loved me more than anybody he’s ever been with. How he never wanted to marry her but wanted to marry me. Who knows. Starting today definitely no contact. No matter what he replies to or does on facebook. Nice to know I am not alone.

[LA]

Sunshine,

I saw your question about Kevin’s emails. They last for a while. I was on day 42 when I received my last one so far. As the days go on you will receive them less frequent. Maybe every other day or a couple a week. I haven’t got one in about 3 days and like I said I’m 40+ days

[sunshinegirl]

Thanks LA! Kevin’s emails have been really helpful. They always make me calm down and focus on myself. I even made screenshot of some of them just to remind myself whenever I’m down.

And I hope you will manage to think thoroughly whether you want to go back with your ex 🙂

[sunshinegirl]

Angie,

You don’t have to block him. Just unfollow them and it’s very useful. I don’t worry about seeing my ex and his family/friends on Facebook anymore, which would remind me of him and make me upset. I also turned off the chat function so I won’t accidentally see how long ago he got on Facebook and think about what he might have done on Facebook. By doing that, I’m really starting to be able to focus on myself 100%.
Believe me, you will feel so relieved just knowing that you won’t get reminded of him through Facebook and that you can interact with your own friends and talk about your own life on Facebook.

Of course you’re not alone. We’re all a team here. 🙂

[LA]

Sunshine,

Yes they are very helpful, it got me through the toughest times. I looked forward to them everyday.

Also thank you. It’s going to be very hard decision. All I know right now is that whether I get her back or move on, It will take time

[D.T.]

Hello to all of you. I am new here and this is my (complicated) story.
I have been married for 5 years but we are getting a divorce. I am not here for my husband though, it was my decision to break it off and we have a child so no contact can’t apply to us. I am here for the man I feel madly in love with… I’ll explain briefly. After Christmas I started to believe that there was nothing left to do to save my marriage. I was feeling lonely and miserable and my husband declared he had nothing more to offer me (emotionally and sexually). So I joined a dating site and at some point I met J. He told me he was divorced. We met a few times, it was awesome, and finally we fell in love. Only then did he tell me he was married. We had our ups and downs but our thing lasted four months. Everything was getting more intense. He even said he loved me. Finally we broke up because he said he would never leave his wife no matter how in love and alive he felt with me. In the meantime I asked my husband for a divorce cause I was sure our marriage was dead.
I started no contact with J. for 52 days, then broke it. I texted a comment about a movie’s soundtrack, nothing else. He replied the next day commenting on the movie as well. I didn’t text him back. I am now in day 6 of no contact (second round) but it still hurts a lot!!!!!!
Sorry for the long post

[Angie]

Thanks!! Unfollow will be a big help. I never thought of that. I am just so frazzled at what he is doing after us having such a long history and love that he would rather get back with a cheating ex. I tried to help him with his drinking. Maybe she won’t care what he does and its appealing. Need to stop over thinking it does no good.

[Author]

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