No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC

[Morvarid]

Daniel I’m not sure if I should contact him after the NC. He is completely changed and he’s so different from the guy I knew for 10 years. Do you think it might be the gig thing?
One more thing, first week of the break up we were arguing on the phone and he himself told me that the guy you used to know is dead and I’m back to who I was before you. Of course I don’t get it.
I’m not comfortable with contacting him in anyy way. Letter, text or etc. I feel like of done my part. And I don’t think contacting him would do any good. Cause even his parents talked to him and he just said that I know she( me)is the perfect girl…bla bla bla, but it doesn’t work and my decision is final. Again, I donno if it’s the consistency thing Kevin talked about or not?? And even if it is, how could I get through his defense mechanism ???

[Daniel]

Morvarid,
Aceept the fact that people change. We are the same. Im not also comfortable contacting my ex in anyway. Its allright. Focus on moving on for now and being happy. You know your ex is right. 10yrs is a long time. Maybe you grew apart and you cant do anything about it because its your individual lives. You cant control him. We’re having a hard time because we cant accept the break up. So just accept it for now and focus on being happy on your own. 🙂

[Morvarid]

Daniel
Thank you so much. I just donno why it can’t bring myself to the point that I can kill that hope in my head. Cause honestly there no hope. He’s never gonna comeback. It’s been two months. I tried everything. Gym, friends,dates and a lot of other things ,haven’t heard a word from him, it’s like he’s enjoying himself but I still cry every day like it just happened today

[Daniel]

Morvarid,
Put it like this. If you dont want something,would you try it and try to like it or force yourself to like it? You wouldnt right? Thats how he feels. Its like the spark was gone for him. Hope can be terrible sometimea. Its like your holding on to something that you know wont comeback. Killing it would be great help.

[sunshinegirl]

Oops!! Because of some stupid settings I may have applied to Facebook, I got notifications of his updated status 🙁 He just came from a wedding and he wrote “Tonight I witnessed the concrete acknowledgement of the most beautiful aspects of life. Congratulations, on your discovery of what it means to live, laugh, and love.”

I know I shouldn’t be obsessed with it but I couldn’t help! He barely gets “emotional” like this on Facebook and all I’m thinking is whether he’s thinking about me because the last wedding he attended was with me and it was perfect…

Plus 7th NC for me and I think I’m preparing well for the exam 🙂

[Daniel]

Sunshinegirl,
Dont overthink it will drain you if you try to decipher all the small details. We dont know for sure if he is thinking of you because of a wedding. You will just get yourself paranoid. Just relax calm
Down, fix your fb settings so you cant see his updates. 🙂

[Athens]

48th day of NC and I am terribly missing the person. I get to wake up sad again, been dreaming about my ex for a week now and its not really helping me get over her.

[mhyy]

Day 27 of NC…I am so glad that there is such a post when I am so desperate and want some advice and encouragement. Reading all of your post make me feel less lonely and give me hope that things will get better.

Really feel down today…my ex didn’t contact me during NC (I don’t know whether it’s a good thing or not..), but deep down I miss him and hope he will talk to me. We chat frequently before I applied NC.

Last sat he changed his facebook profile pic (I know I shouldn’t check it out…) and I guessed he just went to Disneyland with his new girlfriend. It sucks and all kinds of emotions came up…I felt so angry, sad, unfair, hopeless….

Actually I am still not sure if I wanna get back with him…but still I can’t suppress all those negative emotions. I am going to gym, busy at work, going out with friends…but still I lack confidence and feel like I can’t find anyone who love me anymore (I have been with my ex for more than 7 years and I feel like I really don’t know how to date anymore…)

What else you guys do in NC? please share anything you think it’s good, I really wanna get rid of these negative emotion and build up my confidence.

[Daniel]

Mhyy,
When i was on NC my ex did not also made any contact with me. It’s not so bad as you think. The purpose of NC is for yourself. If he doesnt contact you the better so you can focus on yourself. Stay strong mhyy. I feel your struggle. I felt like that before also. Focus on being happy. I also came from a long term relationship of 4yrs and yes you are right. It feels like you dont know what love means outside of your previous relationship because you are so used to each other. But trust me it will only get better. So keep your chin up and hold on. There is hope in getting him back. And there is also hope in finding someone better. Goodluck!

[AndyK]

hi Athens,

i know how you feel. but i’m not so far along in NC compared to you. the worse is having a sweet dream about her and then waking up to reality 🙁

everyone
also, how do i count the days of my NC? do i start counting from the day i don’t contact/stalk her or the day i start working on myself? like some days i just don’t get closer to what i want to achieve in NC.. also, what if i contacted a mutual friend to talk about her, but my ex doesn’t know?

thanks so much! you all are the only ones that i can talk to as i try to win her back..

[julia]

Hey you guys,

I am already in the 2nd month of NC (34 days). At the moment though my mind is restless. Can’t stop crying today….

Unfortunately I am thinking of this rebound relationship he is in. I know I shouldn’t even focus on that. But I can’t help it. I mean why should I still fight for someone who apparently wants to forget about me and move on?

There is a minor detail: He got pissed off at my friend who revealed to me about this other person. But that doesn’t change the fact that there is someone else!Just 2 months after we broke up!

Whether you call it a rebound relationship or not, to me it is extremely painful and sometimes I feel I could never forgive him about that. I feel I should force myself not hoping at all..

I so need your help or some encouragement guys!……

[Athens]

AndyK,
For me I started NC from the moment I stopped talking/stalking the ex by the same time I started focusing on myself, though I am struggling with the latter part. But I am doing my best to be the better version of myself. What was the reason of contacting this mutual friend?

[Khine]

29 days of my NC, I still need some space and time. But miss him so much. Is he ok with money , school , friends ? I wanna know. These are the things that I used to worry about him and supported him alot. I open up my feeling to my best friend. Sometimes, I go to club. Truth is I can’t do anything now as he has new gf. Begging, showing desperation and neediness will push him further away from me. The only thing I can do now is NC. I can’t choice.

Dear mhyy,
He doesn’t contact you in NC is maybe he is too stubborn to contact you. It’s not as bad as you think. Just calm down. May be he think the grass is greener. But after honeymoon period ends, the grass is no more greener.

Dear Daniel,
It feels like you dont know what love means outside of your previous relationship because you are so used to each other. <<< it’s really true fri.

Dear AndyK,
I started counting my NC since the day we talked on the cabled phone. I already started my NC 1 week before that day. But, i think he didn’t notice before talking on the cabled phone as I haven’t never ever leave him more than 1 week.

The more I show desperation to him , the more I need to stay in NC ???
So then, I think I need to stay more than 3 months.
I did worst begging ever. :X

Many thanks for your support friends !

[julia]

AndyK,

I suggest you begin NC from the day you last saw her. That’s what I am doing.
How long r you planning to follow NC?
I also think it’s best not to talk to mutual friends about her. She will find out. Believe me! People talk.
It’s a struggle but you can do it!

[julia]

Khine,

I so understand how you feel. Since you’r saying you did the worst begging then you should definitely follow 3 months NC (maybe more – up to you).
NC if for you and just you alone.

[Author]

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