No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC

[confusedbutok]

@Martin
If things were stale than more than likely she had already prepared herself to leave before she already did. But any relationship becomes stake eventually it’s just a matter of being with someone who realizes that and is willing to spice things up rather than bail and go through the cycle again.

I was dating more when the break up initially happened but I’ve stopped now. It was a distraction but only made me feel worse, especially because I’d get compliments of how I’m a catch etc. made me think wtf is wrong with my ex then? Lol

I’m trying to be fully healed now. Go back to dating myself per say. Was never the type that wanted a gf before my ex so need to be at that place completely first.

[Martin]

@confusedbutok

Yeah all relationships eventually get there…I could have spiced it up but both of us were too busy with sorting out things for the future (work, studies etc).

I was not given the opportunity to fire it up again.

Well ill just see how it goes.

Have you ever visited the UK?

[archola]

Hey guys! How are you all doing?
Been some time since I last posted here but I’m trying to deal with the loss still. But today something struck me…today we were going to festival abroad with some her friends. She went but her bf didnt go with her, which kinda made me feel a bit better but I miss planning with her going together…it was a thing she always wanted to do, to go to that festival and we always planned to do it together and I feel just down right now. Also, it’s her birthday in 2 days. Should I send something or keep the indefinite NC?

[Carmine828]

@archola:

Wow its been a long time since I posted here. I have been very busy with a lot of stuff, and frankly I was kind of reluctant to make any comments because most of you guys have a situation a little different from mine. Your exes have another person,mine does not. And I remeber saying that once someone lets another come between you guys its better to let go. That person will only come back when the thrill pf the other relationship is gone,if ever. Im still in the panorama of my ex because hisbissues afe different, and I have been gaining his trust back slowly, but firmly. Yesterday he asked Me to meet him for lunch and we ended up together. I see in his eyes and his ways towards me that he still loves me. Before that, the last 2 and a half months was me asking and he agreed most of the times In the meantime, I have been doing a ton of things I left unattended because of my problems with him, and my life is soaring. I even got a perfect evaluation at work wich gained me a promotion.

As for yuir question, I think that sending her something would be over the top, unless you really had some encounter with her. Couples start spending their own time again when the first spark is settled, and seeing her in that concert not necessarily os an indication they are appart. I would send her a happy message and see how she reacts. Then you can act accordingly, probing discretely on her status but veeeery subtle, if you can find out through friends better.

Best of lucks, pal.

[Andie2.0]

Hey it’s my 2nd day of no contact and counting… I did survive the first 24hours which is very crucial for I almost called him when I woke up in the middle of the night… This morning I let myself cry while taking a shower for that’s the only place no one can hear me.. So many things running through my head like what went wrong? WHY?
Till now I still don’t get it why we ended an 8month relationship? I kept on asking why the coldness then he just said he don’t know me anymore if I’m real? That really hurt me for we’ve been talking 24/7 and sleep on Skype and all along he’s been doubting me., I guess that’s why long distance relationship is tough!
We planned to go on a holiday third week of next month and everything is prepared: flights, hotels, visas and more
I’m so confused if I will still go by myself or maybe part of me is hoping he will also show up.,
My mind is cloudy at the moment but hopefully I’ll get by…
I’m thankful I found this website to get me move on., it really helps me whenever I have the urge to call him… I just think about the deadly mistakes and I stop from there…
Thanks Kevin! Good luck to us may we find ourselves and get back that confidence we used to have…

[nycor]

Hi I’m Nycor! Lol not really but that’s what I go by online.

I’m on day 12 I think and so far doing good… It’s been 3 weeks since the break up, but I am actually feeling good. Focusing on my studies and picking up extra curricular activities that I kinda let go of. I’ve always meditated so that isn’t new…. A guy asked me out, but I don’t have any attraction to him. It’s not because he’s not my ex, just I don’t see him that way not even after knowing him for 4 months now. Nice friend though. I’ve gone out with friends and talked to new people, but right now just doing things for me.

Anyways I guess I struggle with the fact that all our friends are so intertwined that running into him is bound to happen….. I’m unsure as to how it will be if we do. I wake up from dreams, but they no longer make me feel sad instead I just smile at what was good. When I hear stories I’m just glad he’s doing what he feels he wants to do. That’s what I’m doing.

Now a bunch of my friends and I are going to a rave… Not sure why but they all got me a ticket and this was before the break up so he has one too. A good friend of mine, turned his friend too, told me he’s coming with us, since he doesn’t have anyone to go with. I’m not going to start anything, but it does present a problem on the NC. Now I do want to work things out, but idk if that’s a good idea just yet. I want to go and don’t want him to keep me from doing things, it just presents an awkward situation because I have no idea how he’ll act.

So how should I do this no contact thing if I can’t exactly avoid it without stopping my activities with my friends?

Idk if this is what it’s means for struggles, but I guess I just need to talk about my upcoming dilemma?

[Andie2.0]

Hi! It’s my third day and I feel like I’m a robot., wake up, take a shower, prepare myself to work, barely eat., lose weight in just three days? Woke up again in the middle of the night and look for him… That emptiness I felt the moment I saw him online but not messaging me… Am I that easy to forget? I know deep within me he’s hurting too.. I hope as days goes by my life will be better without him. Looking forward on that day when I can tell myself that I managed to move on…
Have a nice day to us ^_^

[t_k]

Hi guys, I have been trying to post Kevin without much success since several days and today I saw this thread and I am willing to join, I didn’t read all the posts cause they were too much but what I noticed when I reach to the last page that the people how started this are not there anymore, anyway I will give u summary about my relation with my ex, first of all I am in NC now for 9 days,me and my ex have been together for 5 monthes and she had a bad previous relation and she have been hurted a lot from her ex as she told me, they were married for 7 years and he have beaten her up and abused her before she could finally leave him, we didn’t have any kind of pproblems between us since we have started and by the way we are living in two different cities and we used to meet like once every month but lately before she broke up with me I started to feel that she is being kind of away from me and when I talked to her about it she started to give me explanations made me full of doupts that she might be sheeting on me and once I faced it with it she didn’t like it and then she told me that she really loves me and would never do this and we spent another week together with everything fine between us then one day she told me she is going to meet an old friend she didn’t see from 10 years and they went out together and she texted me when she returned that she was home and she will make a phone call and return back to me and she left me for another hour and when I called her she told me she was talking to him asking him about some data she wanted from him about her ex husband for certain issues between them concerning the kids and staff like this and I was extremely angry and told her she was ignorning my feelings by doing this and she started to tell me silly explanations abot it which made me doubtful again and she told me that she can’t stand my doupts anymore and stopped talking to me and in the next day I tried to talk to her she told me she wont repeat her experience again and she feels I am the same character as her ex and I started to tell her that I am not and I am sorry about what I did and wont repeat it so she told me I need space for a while to think and I started to do everything you mentioned not to do till she blocked me everywhere and I stopped talking to her since and it have been four days now since I last sent her, and now we were planning to travel after 20 days and we booked everything and I don’t know should I go or not and will she show up or she will just drop everything and I wont see her again

[lustinlove]

@t_k
Hey man sorry to hear about your situation.

From the info you’ve provided it sounds like you may have been a rebound for this girl. If she was married for 7 years even if her ex was abusive she’ll still have some emotional ties to him and from what I’ve noticed is that abused women deep down enjoy it because they feel they’re never enough for the person and it keeps them attached. It’s a sick psychological fact.

I say your chances are extremely low for a reconciliation because you started pushing for affection in a jealous way. Your best bet is to walk away and never look back and if she ever reaches out you must be cool and calm. No pressuring or trying to talk about how she should be towards you.

[t_k]

Thx lustinlove

Actually I don’t think she have anything to her ex, they didn’t even leave in a good way and there is some court issues also between them and that’s why she told me she was Talking to this other guy, and for now what I don’t know if concerning the travel issue, I am affraid if I went hoping to find her and didn’t that it will break me again and at the same time I am affraid not to go and lose a chance to get things back if she went, cause this will mean that she want things back, but I don’t disagree much with u that I might be a rebound for her, I just don’t know what to do and feeling so down

[lustinlove]

@t_k
I’m a little confused. You two had planned a vacation? When? If it was when things were good. I’d guess the plans are off at this point. Don’t assume she’ll be there. Especially if you haven’t talked about it since.

[archola]

@Carmine828

Yeah, I don’t have any hope or anything, i just won’t act like she doesn’t exist just because she’s my ex, i think that’s a bit stupid, dunno. Anyway today was her birthday, and I wished her happy birthday through fb. She didn’t open the message but I’m sure she read it.

Things between them seem so different compared to what it was between us (better with us). She always liked when I showed her affection on social media and etc and they seem so dull. Anyway, it’s not my business anymore.

[Martin]

Hey everyone,

My ex messaged me last night.

She said she’d like to catch up because we were best friends. It kind of bothers me because were in a relationship for four years and we were only best friends at the start!!!

NC 23 round 5 I think

We broke up about 5months ago.

[kaila]

But that is good. Arent you gonna meet her?

[lustinlove]

@Martin
At least she wants to see you. Don’t let the “friends” discourage you. Be your best self. Confident, playful, carefree. Flirt 10% of the time and the rest be genuine.

That is if you’re planning to catch up with her.

[Author]

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