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*sigh* did I also mention that I asked her when she’ll be ready to talk to me again? And she told me, “idk when you make significant improvements contact me and we can talk”. I told her, ” that’ll take me few months, I’ll contact you by then but I’m not going to wait for you, I’m going to do my thing”. She said, ” OK I wasn’t expecting you to, like I said, you have to earn my respect back one day if you still want this”.
Ughh I fucked up smh.Thank you for your responses!
Yeah I am definitely not in a good confident state. I was confident before but now I just too melted. Anyway I have time till the 3rd to man up. I got in touch with her yesterday to build some attraction via messaging but it failed miserably…she regained control of the situation.
If I do end up meeting her I planned on reestablishing the connection we had as well as giving her a good time. I am not sure what I aim to achieve from catch up.
In the grand scheme of things I would like to win her back as my girlfriend but its very complicated that she is already dating someone.
Day 9. He still won’t sign the stupid paper. I know I don’t really need his signature but it was a way I wanted to get closure. I just want to be done. I feel terrible today, finally had to make a doctor’s appointment I have been avoiding because the pain and other symptoms have gotten too much. I wish I could just curl up in his arms and tell him all about what I am going through, but I obviously can’t. I just truly want to be done with him, with all these memories, etc. I am going to work extra hours the next few months and if everything goes right I can move by the end of June instead of waiting until August/September. I need a major change. Gonna force myself to work right now even though I feel terrible.
@MrCat22 Don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m not familiar with your whole story, but the comment about respect was rude on her part. Jeez.
@Martin Hopefully you start to feel better soon. Could just be nerves. You still have about a week though to figure it out. 🙂
@knitterz Hey woman, I’m sorry you are feeling bad. 🙁 I know how you feel about the closure thing. I wanted that too and never got it. It sucks big time. I hope something comes from your dr. appt. and it helps you with your symptoms. If you wanna chat outside of the forum, I have kik messenger, my username on there is little_fish_3.Hey!
Just sent that message I posted here before to my ex. I’m finally starting NC indefinitely. If she ever wants to say anything, she knows where to find me. I’m tired of having hopes, wishing her, etc. She was great while we were together but now it’s time to move on somehow. And I rely on you guys to help me fullfiling it 😀
I had to write some final thing to her. Probably she won’t even read it, but yeah, I had to. Time to keep only the good memories.
Is it safe to assume I should change my status to single on fb?
I bugged him a million times to sign the paper as I wanted that closure, so he finally sent it this morning. He signed it and scanned it into his computer on Monday, not sure why he kept it sitting for so long when he knew I wanted the paper. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to fully let go yet? I’m not sure, all I know is that he sent it this morning. I felt really good and like I had closed a door. I felt that way even more after my therapy session today, was feeling really good.
Decided to risk going to the bookstore to get the second Outlander book (yay!) which is right next to his work. Luckily his car wasn’t there, so I knew he wasn’t at work. Ran into one of his coworkers we used to hang out with together walking in, but sorta brushed it off and pretended I didn’t recognize her so I could go on my merry way. Went to get lunch after that, guess whose car is in the parking lot? Ugh. Decided I didn’t want a confrontation since I said goodbye forever to him this morning both internally and to him via text, so waited for him to come out. He was wearing the sweater I loved on him and patched a few times when the sleeves ripped. Gave me a smile, I knew he was either coming or going to class since he wasn’t in his work uniform.
Walk in to get my food, feeling slightly shaken but ok. Guess who is in line paying? His new girlfriend. I haven’t officially met her, but I could tell immediately by the look on her face, the fact that she is a spitting image of his girlfriend from before me, and the work uniform (same place as him.) Now I can’t get it out of my head that he knew her the entire time we were dating and now they are together. That hurts, a lot. And the fact that he said about the girl before me “she is super unattractive, especially compared to you, and I can’t believe I wasted 3 years of my life on her!” And now he is dating a girl who seems to be basically the exact same thing? I feel like I have a fatal knife wound to the chest. I was feeling so good and I never wanted/needed to know who this girl was for my own sanity. Now it just hurts and there feels like too many unanswered questions I want answers to but will hurt when/if I find them out. I texted him again and told him I have my closure, but if he ever needs to talk he can reach out and I can help him get his closure.
I wish I had money saved up right now because I would be on my way to the otherside of the country first thing tomorrow if I did. I hate all these memories and running into him like that. I feel like even when I was feeling good, every time I saw a car that looked like his I was looking to see if it was him. I need to get away from here to finish healing properly.
On the bright side, she looked miserable, he walked out and left in a hurry even though he wasn’t heading back to work, and they didn’t eat or pay together so theres something. I guess. I don’t even feel hungry for my lunch anymore. I hate this feeling, I can’t believe everything was just snatched out from under me by this girl. I miss my friend!
Hey!
So I said here that I sent to my ex that message. That was last thursday and she didn’t even read the message (I sent it through facebook and you can see if the person reads). Ok, she turned into this, it’s her fucking loss. Would it be really that bad to read the message I sent? Well then, I hope she and him keep having wtv relationship they have and that one day she goes through the same shit she put me through. I don’t get it, for real. I don’t.
Before I did NC for like 40 or 50 days if I sent her something, she would read. But now she can’t even read that last message I wrote her? Lol.
I posted here and after a couple of hours she did read what I wrote her even though she didn’t say anything.
I would like to thank you guys for all the support you been giving. Its time for me to let it go, i kinda put it in my mind already that she won’t ever come back. Funny though that yesterday I had a dream of them breaking up,lol.
I’ll still be coming here, of course!I wish you all the best mate. I am at that stage myself.
I have recently come across this website http://getoverhernow.com/
Sign up for the emails which i have found to be incredibly helpfull in trying to move on.
Again, All the best to you buddy.@Tommys83 thanks mate. I really do still love her and she will always be a mark in my mind, but it’s over and i need to deal with it. Im starting to see her as a…bitch and i didn’t want to because I want to keep the good memories we had because they were immense.
Thanks for the website! I’ll check it out later once I get at home.I suppose officially this is day 9. I am hoping that by expressing myself here will get me some good feedback and stop my insanity im feeling. We had a 6 month relationship where we lived 45 min apart from each other. she was laid off from her job but living with a severance package which made things like a long vacation. We did so much together. parks, lakes, festivals, hotel weekends and the like. She even overlooked the fact that i had a restricted license and did the lions share of the traveling and driving. she did so much for me it was unlike any other relationship I have ever had before. just before christmas last year I got my license back and bought a new vehicle. within 3 weeks she finally found a new job, and then she just told me she had moved on. she flat out denied that it was because of her new job, it was more from the fact that I wasnt there for her when she needed me. again, I see there were times i should of done more, but trying to play catch up has made things worse. I accepted things gracefully at 1st, then around the 1st of the year I made an ass out of myself and got way over emotional, then spent the next 6 weeks trying to stuff the genie back into the bottle, so to speak. I found this website and got some great info which i am thankful for. So now im going thru NC, and its true, its like breaking an addiction. I did the FB looking for a bit, as well as noticing her back on the dating website we originally met on. I wish i would of just let the dust settle and shut up. I would be in a much better place right now. If anything more, thanks for listening. the 5 min this took to write was like a 1 mile jog, and it felt good…
I’m definitely feeling the struggle and would really appreciate some of you all’s feedback. Here’s one of two of my posts..
Special holiday during NO CONTACT…give the present I bought???
@Martin how did it go, mate?
Hi,
I am day day 29 no contact.
I miss her so much. I still want her back every single day, she is still the first and the last thing I think about. She broke up with me, apparently she fell out of love with me. I fell out of love with myself. I put everything I had into the relationship. We were both at uni, would see each other most weekends. Then we went home for christmas and we spent most days together, doing what we love, just being with each other. WE saw each others friends like they were our own, and we had fun. She even told me she had had ” the best christmas ever with me.”
30 days later, a month back at uni, its over. She doesn’t love me anymore. I got a bit insecure when we first went back to uni, I had her every day for a month, and now i don’t. I panicked a little. This resulted in some arguments. They were never huge, we always made up before bed! Always. But i guess my insecurity got the best of me, and she fell out of love. I guess I asked for that!
I just don’t know what to do. People are telling me she will come back, apparently they always do. But she hasn’t. She text me once after we broke up, upon my request of her getting a grade back from uni. But i didn’t reply, the text didn’t instigate a conversation, so i didn’t want to instigate one myself. I want to text her and see how she is. I want my text to set a cage of butterflies in her stomach free and her to get all nervous like you do, when someone you like texts you. I am too scared to text her, I can’t go through the rejection again. But I want he back.
HELP ME PLEASE!
I am going through the same struggle. Currently on the 11th day of NC and kind of broke it today when i had the extreme urge to call her. I cut the call as soon as i made it but it rang.
Just like you, i made some mistakes which made her drift away from me and now i want her back real bad. All i think about is her. And to make the matters worse, she is in a rebound relationship with someone else. So i have lost all hope and just hoping this agony ends soon and i move on.
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