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Posts
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@martin
Casual light, about her dog, work, how she’s doing. When I try getting the conversations deeper she just stops responding.Hmm…there is possibility that she is scared and is wondering if things would escalate too quickly. Try making her wait between replies.
@Martin
Escalate how? I realized I’m pretty comfortable chatting with her now. Not sure if that’s intimidating? Idk. Should I try every other day or once a week or? So many conflicting info on the subject.Oh definitely not too frequently. You can increase the frequency gradually…also you don’t want to seem too available for her.
I wish there is a solid plan what to do. I am panicking because I ended NC yesterday and arranged to meet up with my ex on the 4th of March. The main problem is she is dating someone and they could be “so much in love”.
Hello. I read your post and obviously I don’t know your whole situation from what I’ve read there but I’ve recently read a lot of boards, websites and articles and by the sounds of things if you really do want to get back with your ex, it sounds like you’re in a fairly good position and you have quite a high chance of saving things if your patient. Anger is better than indifference and I could go on but
Try checking out this helpfull website instead which I feel has some great advice:How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Fast – The Complete Guide
Hey,
I have arranged to meet up with my ex on the 4th of March. Is this is a good idea?
She is dating someone since middle Jan.
They have been hanging out together since October.
We broke up at the end of october because she said she has a crush on this guy.
I did NC 4 times.
She and her new bf celebrated Valentines together.I am really scared…I do not want to screw up.
@tommys83 how long do you think I should do NC for? She told me she needs a few months. Idk if I should do the 30 days or give her what she needs.
Day seven. I had to contact him for a paper for our apartment. He is being a jerk. I’m irritated. So sick of this he never should treat me like this. He wasn’t like this before. He has been a jerk since the breakup off and on but he is being a real piece of crap since this new girl. I am really annoyed with him and all of this. Gah so done.
I think I messed up a little. Got thumb happy and sent her a text while I was visiting my grandmother: “My grandmother was just knitting. Reminded me when you taught me a little haha. Have you still been going at it?”
Might have been too much for her. We exchanged two brief texts yesterday, I don’t know if sending that today was too soon. She hasn’t responded. Getting kind of fed up with conflicting info on what to do/say and how often. Life shouldn’t be about walking on eggshells :-/
@Martin I wish I could help you out, but where you are right now is kind of where I get lost too. I think it might be good to finally do a meet up. Staying cool and not being attached to any certain outcome will help too. And try not to worry too much about doing things right or wrong, go with the flow of the conversation and you will be fine. 🙂 Treat it like it’s no big deal and you are meeting up with any old friend.
@confusedbutok I definitely think your ex is holding back or purposefully trying to keep a distance with you, hence the not going past small talk or pleasantries. She could be scared or unsure of going back down a relationship path with you. Slow and steady I think is key. I’d do as Martin suggested and not contact too often at least until she starts to open up more.
@knitterz I’m sorry he is acting like a jerk. I’m not condoning his behavior in any way but I think that he is going through something emotional. It could be feelings for you, or it could be the other girl making him act that way too, or any combination of those things and others. I think he’s taking frustration out on you. Still, it sucks that he is being that way and you have to deal with it. :/ I spent some time with that friend recently, and nothing was brought up about my ex. She didn’t mention the picture again. I do still wonder if she relays info, but I try to be on my best behavior.So, this weekend was awful. I was beyond tempted to contact my ex. I was super emotional and missing him, and spent most of the weekend in crying spells. Then, I decided to re-read all of his past messages from the breakup. He said some really awful stuff, but I read it over and over again. My mindset changed. I realized that I’m not missing him, but being in a relationship. I’m missing the companionship, the physicality, and even doing things for another person, because I’m a giver and I guess I get off on that. It was sort of a wake up call. I’m now in a sort of half anger half acceptance stage, but I’m feeling better and closer to letting it all go.
@confusedbutok I didn’t see your last message. I’d agree, you don’t want to constantly be on eggshells or trying to follow a bunch of conflicting advice and not getting anywhere. Don’t over think your last message. You sent it and it’s done. Give her a day or two and see if she responds. I really think your ex considers what she wants to say before she gets back to you, or she doesn’t want to seem too easily available and she makes you wait.
@Nell
Good to hear from you. I feel I maybe shouldn’t have sent that last one because yesterday morning I texted “just ordered 1 pancake with my breakfast ;)” because she would always order 1 pancake it was an on going joke between us. She did reply though “smart man”But idk if me sending another kind of reminder text today may have been too much. It sucks, because it feels like any wrong move makes the situation worse.
@confusedbutok That’s funny about the one pancake. Don’t feel bad about what you sent today. I think it will be alright. Even if it was too soon, I don’t think it will have done much if anything to set you back. I’m sure she will message you back soon. Try not to dwell or be too hard on yourself. 🙂
Guys I just realized, although I agreed to tell my ex that i’m giving her her space. I told her that I still love her, and I left the impression that i still want her when we last spoke. I feel like I shouldn’t of done that. That might backfire on me, and it gives her the upper hand.
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