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Posts
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@Martin
Nice exchange. Sounds like she’s speaking from guilt though. At least you two aren’t on bad terms and line of communication is open for any future possibilities.We stop having bad conversations beginning last month. I do not know if I should reply to her last message or ignore it.
@Martin
Say “as long as you’re sorry I’ll let it slide this time ;)”Lol if you think she’s in a good receptive place towards you id say something like that. However I can’t advise it’s the BEST reply. Maybe just continue being indifferent and say “cool”
She is in a relationship with someone. She has yet to tell me about it but I don’t want to give her any comfort from me.
That is what I feel like the right thing to do.
So I was thinking of either just messaging thanks or ignoring it.
@Martin
Any comfort would be you communicating from desperation/neediness. Otherwise you’re just being fun and casual not caring how she perceives your responses.Maybe I’ve been watching a little too much Californication lately and I’m in Hank Moody mode lol
I have tried being fun and stuff…she would think that I am still happy to be her friend. I am giving a clean cut signal that, that is fading.
From next week she might return home for a few days…so I’ll see what happens after that. My bday is also at the end of the month. Just going to wait and see how she would react.
I have not open the last message she sent. Going to wait till tomorrow. I am feel quite low today…could be because I might be getting ill.
@Martin what do you mean something I could regret in the future? She is all happy and fine with her new guy and it’s been lasting almost 3 months. We met meanwhile and you know what happened. I really thought she would come back to me, or at least write something, you know? But you know, I’m part of her past as it seems, and then I’ll make her part of mine too. Even if it hurts like hell, because it does, because mainly I still love her and still care for her. But if she doesn’t give a single f*** about me, why should I? I’m tired of crying because of her, we planned a future, etc and she just vanished, whatever she did, because I’m yet to understand. If she deserved everything I did for her, she doesn’t deserve me to shed a single tear for her right now. That’s how it is and the way it is, and I can’t force her to anything. She knows I was great and that she meant everything to me and vice-versa and all that. If she prefers to be with someone just because he is closer (that’s what she said to me 2 months ago when we met, that she needed someone closer and that she still had feelings for me) it’s her choice and maybe one day she will realise it was a bad choice. If there’s nothing I can do, and I’m really getting tired of this, because I really believed that somehow she would want me back too as I want her, I thbought I meant something to her…guess not, or don’t know.
I may be overreacting but I really feel as low as I could get and I’m tired of it.
@Nell Last night the new girlfriend texted and called me from his phone. I explained it in more detail in an above post. Anyways, I was pretty upset about it, she was extremely disrespectful towards me. I mean, who says “nah nah he’s mine and not yours!” to someone? That’s extremely immature. Anyways, after some reflection I feel like even though she said she had is happy permission to bash me like that, I think this is the best thing she could have done for me. She is now the crazy controlling jealous girlfriend and what I used to do that pissed him off now seems downright mild. I wasn’t planning on even attempting to get him back after all this, had not been for several months before he even met her, but now she has resparked that fire inside me. I know him very well and I know he won’t be happy with her for long, if he is even happy now. I kind of see this as a challenge now and as I told him when we first start dating, I always get what I want in the end if I truly want it.
But anyways, I came here with a follow up. After a really nice relaxing bath, I decided to send her specifically a message on his facebook. I would have texted but I deleted his number and actively forgot what it was a while ago. I basically just wrote out an apology to her saying I was sorry for coming in between them or whatever she thought I was doing. I told her I was hurt by her actions last night and in the past as I felt they were unwarranted, but I wasn’t going to require an apology from her. I explained to her that I have a bond with him she can never take away, just like every one with every ex they have, some are more special than others but you can’t sever that bond ever, it exists in history. I didn’t phrase it that way, but you get the gist. I decided to take the moral high ground. I think this was a good decision, hopefully it really was. I basically just apologized, expressed my feelings towards her immature attitude, explained our bond, said I would respect her and not reach out anymore, and apologized again. It might piss her off to read that, but at least I can sleep knowing I was better than the girl who literally texted “nah nah” in a taunt to a fellow adult. He is really getting too old for this shit, whether he realizes it right now or not. I’m in a good mood now.
I hope everything is going well with you. Did you find out what your ex husband was mailing you? Are you guys divorced or just separated right now? I hope you are having a good day!
@ThePhoenix I truly hope that he hasn’t moved on (aside from physically). Unless I never really meant that much to him…which again, hurts even more. Its only been 5 days since I found out they’re together but time passes by so slowly. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the months, year or whatever it may be that they’re together. Especially in the state that I’m in now. I don’t know how much more I can take and feel so weak because he’s so happy and I’m tearing myself apart over him, someone who doesn’t even care.
I don’t understand how he could just out of the blue leave me (5 days before Christmas and over text too :S) when everything had been fine even the week before and then not even two months later be seeing someone. Someone he became friends with in sept. I don’t know if he left me just to see her. The only thing I know is this hurts too much. 🙁@knitterz I’m a little behind on the thread, but I read your last post. How terrible! That girl sounds like a real peach. :/ I don’t blame you for being upset, I would have been too! How immature and rude on her part. I agree with you, I think she will mess things up all on her own from being jealous and nasty. Wow. I wouldn’t be too happy if I was in a relationship and the person acted like her, and there’s no way in hell I’d let them use my fb account either. How old is she?
I think it was a good move to apologize and take the higher ground. It will probably make her mad, but oh well. If your ex sees the exchange it will be obvious that you are being mature and she is being hateful. I wonder though if he actually gave her permission or if she is just saying that to be a jerk and try to get a rise out of you? Seems like she likes drama, don’t let her suck you in. I’m glad you are feeling better. 🙂
I’m doing alright. Just been in a weird mood lately, lots going on. I’m not sure if he mailed me anything or not, guess I’ll find out in a week or two. I really hope not. We are not divorced (yet) he is out of country so not much can really happen at this point. We are broken up but no legal separation or anything like that. Oddly, over the past week I’ve been having feelings of wanting him back. I’m trying to shake it. Oh, and I thought this was weird. We have a mutual friend who asked if I wanted a recent pic of him and his friends? I politely declined but in my mind was thinking, wtf? Why would I want that? And why would she offer?
Hey everyone,
I am on NC day 22.
My ex’s last message is “Same to you, I am really sorry I did not help you when you moved to London and were having problems. You can reply on me in the future”
I do not know what to do…should I reply saying “Don’t worry about that. And thanks a lot for offering to help :)”
Or ignore it?Is the tactics given in the link below a better approach?
How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If She Has A New Boyfriend
@Martin
That’s what I’ve been trying! However my ex has made contacting her a struggle. She doesn’t reply with much to build from or just stops replying.
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