No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC

[cc]

Thank you, confusedbutok. I think you should hold off on texting again since she didn’t respond to your last one. She may even start to wonder how you’re holding up and reach out to you.

[knitterz]

@Nell it’s really hard to see someone’s flaws when you love them so much. It sucks that people can be so crappy sometimes. I guess you have to decide if they ever come back if you can put the past to rest and move forward, or if you will hold these things against them and make everyone unhappy.

He texted again, telling me I didn’t pay part of the bill and he wants the money for it. I feel like partly this has all been an excuse to see what I am up to and speak to me, because why else would he even put in asking me why I went over to his work when he tried so hard to ignore me when I was there? I know this seems mean, but a big part of me hopes he had a terrible Valentine’s day with his new girlfriend. Last year we had a super low key but really sweet Valentine’s day together. He didn’t mention the holiday to me, but I am sure he thought about me a little bit. I mean, who could not? I ended up going on a date with someone who went over the top and took the holiday too seriously for my tastes. I still had fun, but I tend to be really weary of someone I just met getting me a dozen roses, a teddy bear, and chocolates for a first date. I don’t do the overly sentimental crap with men so it kind of is bugging me. He has been texting me all morning too which sucks. My ex and I spent our Valentine’s day in our pajamas at his apartment making smores and then hanging out on the couch together. He had left a single rose with a note on my doorstep earlier that night. That was perfect to me and he expressed how much fun it was to not have all this pressure but to be free to show me he cares in his own way. I highly highly doubt the new girl is like this, though she could be. I honestly don’t know a single thing about her other than she is jealous of me and don’t care to.

Now I’m babbling. Anyways, I don’t know if I should text him about the money asking where to send it, or just tape it to his car in an envelope this week (his work is right next to my/our apartment), or if I should just ignore him for another 3 weeks while I finish a month of NC or what. I don’t know what the best course of action is right now. I truly just want to open friendly lines of communication again and have him back in my life even if its only in a small way, but I don’t want to cave so easily this time to him and his whims. I truly love him, but I feel like the only way he is ever going to see that I have feelings in all of this and he can’t treat me this way is to let him suffer in silence for a while. I’m confused :/

[confusedbutok]

@cc
I get the impression my ex wants to talk but is forcing herself not to. She’ll respond warmly then radio silence. I have my doubts that she’ll reach out so leaves me feeling conflicted

[cc]

Confusedbutok, if you’re conflicted you should probably wait a bit until you’re more clear.

[confusedbutok]

@cc
I read that if an ex ignores you one of the reasons is to make themselves move on 🙁

[cc]

There’s no way to know for sure really what our exes are thinking, unless and until they tell us. I would think though that if they feel badgered by too many texts they’d be more likely to want to back away.

[confusedbutok]

@cc
That’s the thing it was like three text exchanges, she asked how I was I answered saying I botched my hair cutting it. She asked how and I said I tried using a method she used to do (she’d often cut my hair) then no reply. Not sure if that reminded her of the relationship or something. Maybe I should have followed up with a question

[cc]

Oh I see. Yes, maybe you could have asked her if she had any tips for you on how to do the haircut.

Perhaps there’s no harm in asking her how she’s doing after the snowstorm you had. I wonder what others think?

[Martin]

Hey,

I need an urgent advice. My ex just rang me out of the blue!

Her reason for calling: To ask me to send her, her dissertation copy.

Weird thing: I have already sent this to her on the 25th of Jan (and it should be in her email). I am sure she remembers this.

She could be calling me to get an ego boost.

Anyway I am on 18 days NC and in no intention I want to break this.

So when she called I didnt pick up, but rang her back few seconds later.
convo as follows:

Me: Hi
She: Hi, erm could you send me last years dissertation.
Me: ok
She: thanks, Anyways how are you doing?
Me: I am bit busy, can I call a bit later?
She: Sure
I hung up.

what I want to do is still leave the ball in her court but not talk about anything. I dont want to talk to her at this point. I am feeling so much better lately and especially after this weekend…dont want her to ruin it.

I do want her back.

So i was thinking of just forwarding the email i sent her on the 25th and add “I am a bit busy atm but is this what you are looking for?” in the body.

Any thoughts?

[knitterz]

@Martin I think she is using this to get you to talk with her. If I were you, I would just send the email without any writing in it, just the file she needs and go back into NC. You will feel so much better if you finish NC (over halfway there!) and she is probably only doing this to see if she still has power over you. Our exes may not even realize it, but they try and do stuff like this to end no contact so they can prove to themselves and to us they still hold all the power and can get us back at any time if they choose. Stay strong, send her just what she needs and nothing else then go back into NC. IF she tries to start a conversation ignore it.

[Carmine828]

@Martin

Knitters is right. She wants to yank you out of your self control. Stay put, send her what she needs, no more comments. Exes try to keep you on a leach while they deal with their own mess at your expense. You already know what happens when you go back to square one.

[Martin]

@knitterz

Good one! thanks!

I intend to do NC indefinitely.

Anyway it would feel nice to actually hit the 30 day target first…looking forward to that.

I would just say “busy at the moment” to just not come across as being too rude.

I will also just forward her previous email (containing the attachment) to her. That will show her how silly she is.

[Martin]

@knitterz

I changed my mind.

Nothing in the body…just the attachment.

[Martin]

@Carmine828

Sorry, your message did not load before I posted mine. Thanks!!

I am not giving her a slice of me!

[Martin]

She called me back. I didnt pick up.

She replied to the empty email saying “Thank you. I was in the kitchen when you rang, sorry.”

I think I accidentally missed called for like less than a second immediately after we spoke. #touchscreenissues

Should i reply to the email saying “no worries, that was accidental.”

or just ignore it?

[Author]

Posts