Boards › No Contact Rule › NC support
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January 25, 2015 at 4:03 pm #26395
i love your confidence, @belle! how stupid are all of our exes honestly for not appreciating girls that love and care for them so much even after the amount of pain they’ve caused?! girls like us don’t come around often! if they don’t wake up soon and realize that, it is their loss. we will all find better guys who appreciate us more 🙂
January 25, 2015 at 7:18 pm #26438I hope everything goes well tomorrow for You belle. Sending best wishes!!
I am going through a family dilemma since I woke up this morning and I don’t think I will be able to check in for a few days. It’s so wierd that they say things happen in threes. Over the last 10 months what happened today will be the third. It’s really really been a tough day. Right when I start to get my positive energy back in life it seems like something happens to bring back negativity and sadness.
Aphrodite thanks for you response, I had a chance to quickly read you response. Hopefully in a few days I will be able to re read it.
Atea,
I don’t know why I can’t just muster up the energy or strength to put it all on the line. A part of me respects her decision and the other part is definitely fear. its just not easy. I will hopefully be able to read what else is going on with you. I just know the next few days will be tough for me to be on here and catch up.January 25, 2015 at 7:28 pm #26440sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time, @mike2014. hopefully better things will come your way soon. i hear what you’re saying about respecting your ex but it sounds like the love you had for your ex is genuine and i believe she should give you another chance 🙂 anyway sending good wishes your way!
January 25, 2015 at 8:36 pm #26446Having another “moment”.
These do pass right?
I really want to call him now and do more of the apology/take-me-back please/we can make it work speech.
I just don’t understand how he can be so done -after 8 years -and not want to keep trying. Ugh!!! Shoot me now. This just sucks.Sorry to keep overwhelming the boards but these moments just hit and it’s very hard to not get up and go over there.
January 25, 2015 at 9:34 pm #26458It won’t do any good to drive past his house right?
January 25, 2015 at 9:39 pm #26460@Mellen3869 no don’t do it. IMO that is close to stalking. And I saw my ex today and I couldn’t hold back. I had to tell her face to face about what happened. I feel soooo much better now. We will stay as friends to show I have changed but she said she can’t make any promises that she will take me back.
January 25, 2015 at 11:30 pm #26476I’m in a 3 yr relationship before with my ex. It’s my 19th day of NC now. She contacted me today talking about the things that she wants to get from me. She said “I will just text you whenever I need to get my things”. I respond saying “no prob”. She then replied asking “How are you”. I remembered the email that Kevin provided to me if this will happen, so I stay cool and didn’t act rude. So, i’ll respond saying “feeling good :)”. She then replied, “How was it being single? It is fun right?” I respond saying, “Absolutely. hahaha”. She said, “I told you it would be fun.” I did not respond. Am I breaking the NC?
January 26, 2015 at 1:07 am #26483Update
Got an email saying if he doesn’t get to my house in time he will be at bus stop.
Because he’s emailed this I’m going to pretend Ive not received it. I’m going to drive my son to school this morning instead as I do not want a seedy meeting at side of busy road.He’s avoiding my house. Avoiding texting me, avoiding everything. If he doesn’t come to my house he can go to hell. I’m sorry but it’s all too degrading. If he can’t leave early enough to spare my son 5 mins.
The bus stop is the same distance as my house. It’s ridiculous.I would like to think I’m worth more in life than to be treated like this.
His inability to text me rather than email is degrading me.
He had his chance with me, he’s ruined everything and I’m through with his power games.January 26, 2015 at 3:22 am #26488Gosh, @Belle, I’m so sorry, that’s a really low thing to do. I think I would do the same and pretend I didn’t get the email, because that’s just ridiculous. But I would also express to him that that’s not okay – to bring a child into this and disappoint him like that out of some sort of petty… I don’t even know what it is. Is it a control thing or some sort of insecurity thing, but it’s really not okay and you don’t deserve this. You were trying to be friendly and if he can’t manage that then you’re really better off cutting him out of your life completely. I feel really heartbroken for you.
What about your son? Do you think it’s really important for him to give your ex his present or how could you manage that without hurting yourself in the process? Stay strong!
January 26, 2015 at 3:29 am #26489Or email him back last minute saying that – this is really inconvenient, you are actually driving him to school, so the busstop plan won’t work for you and if he can’t spare the time for your son to just forget about it.
January 26, 2015 at 4:21 am #26494Oh @Belle!
This is getting a tad ridiculous. He’s really self important, isn’t he?
I hope you’re doing okay. Please let us know how you get on and what happens.We’ve got your back
January 26, 2015 at 4:55 am #26495Update!
He came round!!
He actually came to my house!
I jumped to conclusions (just for a change)! Just after I posted my last message he knocked on the door! I kinda froze, I did t know what to do so then he rang on door bell so I jumped to it.
He came in! He took his shoes off!!!He apologised for ringing on door bell but said he didn’t know whether I heard heard him knock.
So he came in and we said hello, I then told hi if he wanted to go up stairs to see my boy, in which I had told him I was going to drive him this morning as he’s finding it difficult getting out of bed.
So he went upstairs and I left them too it for a while then joined them, my son was still drowsy and it was difficult for him to get out of bed. So I asked my ex if I could swho him something… Took him into my bedroom and showed him the newly decorated room and new bed! Aphrodite! I actually did that! And he obliged! He said it look really nice.
We went downstairs to where the dog was and she was so excited to see him! Tail going berserk! He stayed with her and scratched her for a few minutes. Back up stairs to get my boy out of bed again.
He sat on his bed and I noticed his eyes filled with tears. I didn’t say anything because my eyes were on and off water works (silently), desperately trying not to cry.
We went back downstairs and he put his shoes on and we waited for my boy to come downstairs. I was standing about 7ft away from him and I looked at him for ages then he caught my eyes and he looked away and mentioned the way I parked my car out the front. I’ve 2 parking spaces on my drive and if we ever fell out I would hog both spaces so he mentioned the way I parked brought up the memories of bad times, even though he said that of course to park the way I had do e today was only natural as no need to get another car on drive.
I didn’t want to mention anything about the relationship but he did. I told him that he knew the reason why I behaved like I did and he said yes I know, but I said to him, I don’t think he really knew, not really really knew. Anyway, he took my sons bags and put them in the car and he also put the dog in the car too.
My son appeared and gave the gift to him and as I closed the front door to head off to school I handed him the letter saying he can read it on the plane or bin it which ever he wanted to do and he replied that no he wouldn’t bin it, he will read it.
So we drove off and past him walking back to his car and we waved.And that is that!
So it was positive that we had a pleasant 15 or 20 mins in all together. He didn’t appear to rush off or agitated, he actually appeared pleased to be here.
I’ve not heard from him since , but I don’t expect too.
Round of applause everyone! Lol
January 26, 2015 at 5:08 am #26496WHOOP WHOOOP!!!
That’s great news @Belle!!
I knew he was still into you;)Like someone else said here, I think it’s a lot harder for him to be mean to you in person! And the letter will make him warm to you as well, he can’t still be mean to you after that and his meeting!
I’m very pleased!:)
Your son welling up got to me! Hope he’s okay.
And I’m happy you got to show him your decorated room as well! And that he seemed pleased to be there and not wanting to rush off! Belle I think you’ve got this one in the bag:) Allow yourself to celebrate now! The battle is not won yet though, but you put up an excellent fight today! Well done!!Applause!!
January 26, 2015 at 5:18 am #26497Aphrodite,
Just to clarify as I may have used rubbish grammar but it was my ex whose eyes welled up not my son!
As for celebrating, well it’s def a step forward, most definitely but I don’t know what he’s thinking. He might just want to be amicable and friends. He might never want a relationship with me again.
Him coming and not feel threatened or uncomfortable is great. He seemed genuinely happy to be here and let me show him everything. He loved seeing the dog and it was so nice the dog went nuts!
It’s a positive step forward but who knows what he’s thinking!
January 26, 2015 at 5:19 am #26498Yayyyy! @Belle I’m so happy it went well. It might even be a good thing you had that little scare in the morning, you had low expectations and everything went much better than that, so I’m sure you came across as really happy to see him. And I’m glad he didn’t do anything petty, which only goes to show that all those little games he’s been playing so far, don’t come from a place of hatred or not caring, but from insecurities and from having his guard up.
Of course this doesn’t mean you’ll definitely get back together, but it’s a start towards a more mature and open communication hopefully! Great news! And I think handling the letter like that was a really good idea. Even if he doesn’t respond (immediately) – it can be hard to respond to emotional letters and it can take time to digest, it’s all things he should know and it’s the nicest way possible to let him learn them. 🙂 Hooray to classy @Belle, handling things like a lady!
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