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I’m 37, my ex is 34. I met all my lovers on the internet….that must be the problem. lol Been engaged once, almost engaged this last time with this last ex….so yeah, I’ve have my share of heartache and learning experiences….I’ve learned a lot from each one.
Yeah you’ve been around a while longer than I have haha. I’m 19. My ex is 18. We were high school sweethearts, I knew her when I was in the fifth grade. She had a crush on me in middle school. I had feeling for her since my freshman year and we good friends at the time. We started dating when I was a junior. It was the first relationship for both of us. We have so much in common. I like sports a little more (I played baseball and basketball, she played volleyball), she liked music a little more. But we were both valedictorians, both religious, both had similar goals in life. Sometimes I wonder how we could ever be apart.
Wow, that really is an amazing story. Not many people meet that young and then it grow into something. You both are still really young so the chance of you getting back together from knowing each other so long, I would think would be better. You just have such a rich history there, something is just not aligning in your favor, but all I can say is never give up. You and only you knows what you feel and most people say you’re too young to know anything or settle down….don’t listen to them. Always follow your heart. For whatever reason ya’ll are apart, just keep positive you’ll align again.
Thanks for that support! Those words really mean a lot to me. And I normally don’t take much from what the majority of people say. I’m a pretty unique individual and so was she for that matter. I’ve always been very mature for my age, which has actually caused me some trouble trying to fit in at times. I agree with you, always follow your heart. I also think hope is a powerful thing, and patience. I guess my biggest fear is that I may be to hopeful or too patient. I’ve realized over time that I can be patient to a fault.
Yeah, that’s why I was saying not to wait around on her and just go out and try to have fun and take care of yourself….that way, time flies by a lot faster. When she and I broke up a little over a month ago, I was in a deep depression for several weeks and then I thought if I was patient enough, she would just call or come back to me and then I started thinking, as much as I love her, I need to love and take care of myself more right now because she is the one who broke up with me out of nowhere, so I need to be happy by myself again. That’s why I started going to the gym and eating a lot more. I weighed 120lbs and I want to build muscle and put on more weight so I look better.
Yeah I had a little bit of a depressive phase too but it’s been my focus to improve myself and just let life keep moving on. I definitely put on the ‘freshman 15’ so I’ve been trying (and I guess secceeding) at losing weight so I can get back to the shape I was in when I played sports. And I’ve focused a lot more on work, my education, and my family.
You’re doing what you can and I’m glad you’re not feeling as bad as you were before. I wouldn’t wish depression on my worst enemy…way too many people suffer from it like Robin Williams when he took his own life. It’s just such a horrible disease but there are always ways to fight it and keep moving on in life. And really we just all have to look and say it’s not going to be like this forever….we’re all here for one reason or another…we just have to find what it is and do good out there in the world.
Exactly, I’m a person who has to be constantly improving in some aspect of my life in order to feel fulfilled. When I wa depressed it felt like I was going backwards in so many areas. Depression is hard to explain to someone who doesn’t understand, I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone either.
I gotta tell you when my ex said I didn’t care about her depression the day she took all of her stuff and left, I was livid. My grandfather on my dad’s side shot and killed himself from depression. She even knows that. So, for her to say that, I was just so mad. I’ve had a chance to calm down now, but I know you know how it is and what it’s like.
I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather, my condolences. And yeah that’s a pretty awful thing for her to say. But people can say things they don’t mean when they are upset. So for me personally I try to be forgiving and not hold grudges, I think it makes me a happier person. It sounds like you are the same way, it’s a good quality to have.
Thank you, I appreciate that. Yeah, that was back in the 70’s when all of that happened with my grandfather but I take depression very seriously, so you and I both don’t believe in holding grudges which does overall make us forgive and be happier. The world could always use a lot more happiness, that’s for sure.
Yeah definitely could you more happiness, and forgiveness.
So last night my ex and I texted again and it was even semi-flirty at times! I pretty much followed all of your advice and it seems to be working. Trying not to get my hopes up too high but it’s encouraging nonetheless!
That’s great….I’m glad to hear (read) that! Yeah, just take it a day at a time and I think you’re definitely on the right path.
Hey Phil, I have another update. So when we were flirting a little bit the other night over text, I took maybe 20 minutes to text back because I didn’t see it and she never said anything back. No goodnight or anything. We haven’t talked since (only a couple days, but still). What do you think this means? And should I text her in the next few days, or wait for her to contact me?
I’m struggling quite a bit again today. I’m worried I’m making this all up in my head and that I’m wasting my time. She even told me she doesn’t have the same feelings for me and that she just wants to be friends. I guess I just need a little encouragement. It’s just a struggle, ya know? It feels like I’m putting so much time and energy towards this and I’m making no progress. I love the girl with all my heart and I won’t give up hope until absolutely all hope is lost. But I’m afraid that’s my problem, what if I hold out hope even when there is no hope left?
Sorry to vent on ya Phil, but that felt good to get out.
I wouldn’t put too much emphasis on her not txting you back the other night. She could have fallen asleep without telling you goodnight. If you haven’t talked for a couple of days, that’s quite alright. Remember you have a busy life too so you’ve just been busy. You could txt her in the next few days to keep it light and funny. Like….I saw, read, etc…and thought of you. Hope you’re doing good. Otherwise, you can opt to wait for her to contact you, either way. Yeah, your head is going to make up a lot of stuff, but I wouldn’t look at it as wasting time or anything. Right now you’re just talking and keeping things light. For her to tell you she doesn’t have the same feelings for you, lol that can always be reignited again. Women can say things like that and judge your reaction. Not saying she’s trying to have the upper hand or anything, but I think it’s nice for women to hear that their ex still loves them, etc. Don’t listen to that whole want to be friends thing. Try not to put so much time and energy into things, just kinda go with the flow a little bit and stay busy so you’re doing things and not thinking too much about it all the time. You really don’t need to put so much energy into anything. What you have to do is look at it like….I know what I offer and she will realize it again soon enough. Just take your time. Never give up the hope though, because it’s not lost. There is always hope in any situation. Just keep doing what you’re doing. I saw my ex last night and totally ignored her and she was looking at me quite a bit I could tell from my side vision. Of course, I was with another girl. Still, stuff that makes you feel good helps. 🙂
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