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She’s extremely stubborn and has her pride along with thinking she did nothing wrong and I did everything wrong so nothing I can do. If I ever see her, I will just ignore her. I don’t deserve what she’s treating me like after everything I did. She even once admitted herself into the hospital and I followed her bc she couldn’t stop crying and I was there every step of the way holding her, comforting her and her apologizing for me having to deal with this….I told her, “baby, we’re in this together, you and I, whatever you’re going through, I am always here.” So that day she told me I didn’t care about her depression, she was definitely not the same person. But, it’s cool….I learned a lot….mainly that I could love someone that much. I never knew it was possible.
That’s rough man, I’m just glad you seem to be handling yourself well, you are a very strong person. Keep it up! That attitude and outlook will benefit you greatly in all aspects of your life.
Hi Kevin
Have few questions …
1st my Ex already in Rebound Relationship probably she is not missing me at all .
2nd I m following all rules by Brad still in my NC period ..every single day doing the exercise from e-book video
3rd I m not only doing this to get her back but also make myself better or extraordinary person before I m going to involve any new relationship . I am still healing and get my fun life back … I know she is stubborn .I m no rush in anything I have to be Perspective myself before I make any decisionUpdate:
So last night she texted me. It had been a few days since we had talked, so she was telling me what she had done over the weekend. She told me all about her family camping trip and how much fun it was. Do you think that’s a good sign for me?
I followed your advice as best as I could but she made it kind of hard. I was very positive and tried to keep things vague but she kept asking for more details. (She wasn’t being nosy, that’s just how she is. She was being friendly) I’m afraid I may have come off a little cold because I was vague. Any advice? Tips?
If she’s calling you and telling you about her camping trip, that means she wanted you to know which is a definite good sign. It’s ok to come off a little vague, but at the same time, you don’t have to tell her everything….keep the aura of suspense there. If she’s asking you for more details, you’re getting her even more interested and that’s the trigger you want. You want her to wonder and it will make her think of you more. As far as being cold, you’re not totally being cold unless you’re actively hurting her which you aren’t. You’re just being a little aloof, a little mysterious and it goes a long way. Just keep doing what you’re doing. It’s working in your favor.
How vague should I be when she’s asking me questions?
Also at the end of our conversation she was asking if I was ok because I was not as talkative as normal, I kept telling her yes and then she asked are you sure? I told her yeah, sorry I just have a lot on my mind. Was that mysterious enough? Or not? Then she told me she should let me go to bed because I had work in the morning, and that if I want to talk about what’s on my mind she’s there. Is that good?
Yeah, that’s good. You still want to make jokes and laugh at little things that way she doesn’t think there’s something wrong….you still want to keep the conversation positive and light. Being talkative just keeps a friendship type of vibe going which is still good, but you don’t want to totally stay there. Do you ever mention things of the past like….hey, remember the time we…. or how about the time I met you and we went…. etc? Like….reminisce?
I haven’t done that a whole lot. One time I went to eat at a restaurant we used to go to a lot. I told her about it when we talked and I brought up some good times we had there. That’s a good idea though, I should do it more.
Also, how much should I initiate the contact. If say right now we each initiate the contact about the same amount. Should I let her initiate more? If I do that though I’m afraid she will feel like a burden on me which isn’t true
No, I think you’re doing fine as far as equally initiating contact. You don’t want it to be more of you initiating or more of her. So equal is great. That’s good you brought up some good times. Good times always make people smile and if it made her smile, then you know it made her feel good which is a positive thing.
Hey, Phil. How’s your situation going?
I’m having a rough day today, really want to text her and stuff. I need something to get my mind off of her, any ideas?
Hi kevin
Tomorrow us my 30days NC
You think i have to wait and see if sge cntact me first
Also other other question if she already in rebound telationship she probably not missing me or think about me
But Brads Eboom said lots about it
Hope tp hear you soon
Moude@Baseballguy
I’m doing good. Started a new calisthenics gym working with bodyweight instead of machines. We all have our days which can be harder than others. The best thing you can do is if you feel bad or down and out is write down what you want to tell her on paper. Read it and write some more and then just kind of look at it. Maybe even get your feelings out of still being in love with her, etc…anything you can think of. You don’t send it or anything but it let’s you get your feelings out. A lot of missing someone is because you want to tell them something, so just write it all down. Then, if you can, try to hit the gym and hit it hard. The more you have to concentrate on weights, the less you will concentrate on her.
It’s good to hear you’re doing well. Writing down my thoughts is a good idea.
I do construction work in the summer so I normally don’t lift because I’m active and pretty in shape with work. And I don’t really like lifting that much lol. I play pick up basketball with my friends a lot of times on the weekends.
Right now I’m having trouble even focusing at work. My mind drifts to her. I don’t necessarily even think of bad things or that I need her or anything. It’s more she just finds a way to pop in my mind for random reasons. So I dunno, something for me to work at I guess, getting her off my mind
Her popping into your mind is totally normal. My ex gf does too. It just comes with the territory of having feelings for them and being in love with them. The mistake I always made in the beginning is trying to figure everything out, what went wrong, why she turned on me all of the sudden, etc….the worst thing I did was sit at home feeling sorry for myself. That just creates very negative energy. A wise guy recently told me we all have an aura around us. It’s all about law of attraction. If you’re walking into a bar or a restaurant and you feel really bad and you have this sad face on and you walk around just depressed looking, most people will just stay away from you. You’re not approachable. But, if you walk into a place, have a smile on, stand up straight and look like you own the place, it’s super attractive. So the point to all of that is, you just have to keep working on yourself, knowing it’s not your fault things are the way they are and if you don’t like lifting, staying busy with friends, watch tv shows that are funny and just do what you can. You’re never going to totally get her out of your mind unless you decided one day to move on or if you both got back together. It’s just one of those things that’s a part of life we all have to go through. It’s not fun but any means because you miss them a lot but just know, it’s normal. I did the same thing when I had just broken up. I actually was working on some computers at this school and the work was so boring, I literally had to leave the room I was in and go walk around every 30 min to an hour. I was so miserable. So, it’s hard to always keep your mind completely occupied, but things like what I mentioned and writing things down might help.
You’re very wise. I can’t thank you enough for all of this advice. And having someone outside of my family an friends to talk to about all my emotions has helped me a lot.
You seem like you’ve been around the block a time or two, you have a lot figured out. Do you mind me asking how old you are?
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