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Hello guys ,
Sorry for my english, is not my first language.
I was reading the stories of you and I sympathize with them. Phil my ex also had some injuries and I believe this may have affected my relationship 🙁
I am currently in a similar situation where I’m blocked and i did not receive happy birthday from my ex .
But I came here just to give strength to you two and say we have to focus on us! It is very difficult , but I think we can learn from this situation to become the best it can be !
And I hope that our girls one day realize the way we want to change and help them with their problems …
You know what’s more amazing ? Here in the forum I end up feeling less alone 🙂
You and I sound a lot alike. I’m kind of a loner too. I have friends but normally we only hang out when they ask me to, I guess normally I’m not the initiator. I also have trust issues and my ex isn’t helping that lol. I fall hard too.
I agree I can’t wait for her, she doesn’t deserve that. I probably will start hanging my friends more, I’m not one to go make new friends easily.
Having a little bit of a tough day. She hasn’t even texted me, that’s kind of messed up, ya know? But I’m pretty sure the only reason I want her to text me is so I can ignore her lol. Feeling a little childish right now lol. I just don’t get it, I gave her my trust again and she just treats me like crap. I just wish I could forget about her.
Yeah, we probably are alike, except when I meet someone new (usually a girl) I’m extremely sarcastic at first since I have my wall up. Some girls like the one I’m talking to now and the one that was a great kisser a few weeks ago can take it right back. I like the whole challenge of witty banter with them. My ex was good at it too. But after a little while, I let my wall down and then I don’t do it as much but at the end, my ex was putting her wall back up with me so of course she was zinging me left and right and I was thinking….aren’t we past all of that? But then, I’ve talked to girls that get all butt-hurt and take it too literal and then it fizzles out right away.
Yeah, our ex’s really screwed us over to where trust is even harder yet. It’s not like I woke up one day and decided not to trust people. It gets instilled in us when the ones we’re in love with take that away.
I would say yeah, hang out with the friends you do have and just try to have fun. I used to play baseball when I was younger and my metabolism is so high if I did it right now, I would be back to 110lbs in no time. lol I’m a hard gainer so I always have to overeat and not do too much cardio.
No, I understand you wanting to ignore her. Give her a taste of her own medicine. I’ve done that a few times myself. I guess I was lucky this past ex never played games with me, but man, she was blunt as hell, told it like it is and then abandoned me at the end. My other ex from 1998-2000 was in and out all the time, always had to have her foot in the door….always confused, blah blah blah. That ex is married with a few kids now and we’re friends. She’s paid me to fix her computer a few times.
But, it’s ok to feel childish at times or want to get a little revenge by ignoring her, etc…. You don’t deserve to be treated like shit at all. It’s not fair. As far as forgetting about her, all of that I’m sure as you know, takes time. I think once you reach the end of your rope and have had it for good, then you will move on.
I don’t really have a method of flirting with girls cause I’ve only had one girlfriend lol. But I guess when I used to flirt I would give her a hard time.
You’re a baseball player?!? I love baseball! (Obviously lol) I had a few offers to play at couple community colleges but I didn’t, kinda wish I would’ve but that’s life I guess. I never had a hard time gaining weight but I had hard time gaining muscle mass lol so I was never going to be a great athlete anyway. I was always at about 150 no matter how much I lifted.
Yeah probably part of my problem is I’m pretty blunt and she’s a little indecisive. I was always patient though. It will feel good to give her a taste of her own medicine. When I don’t respond it will really throw her off because I don’t think I’ve ever ignored her before.
That’s good your still friends with your ex if she’s a good person. Not too many of them around. Do you fix computers as part of your job? When I go back to college in going to fix cell phones for a little extra cash.
My method of flirting is mainly being sarcastic and teasing a lot. For those who can handle it, I get along with them better. I used to play baseball back in middle school for a catholic church up the street. That was wayyy back when. The coach lives on the same street as I do. lol I always have trouble gaining weight and muscle. I would say some of it is genetics but my dad is overweight and I’ve always been underweight. I’m 5ft7 and 128lbs now which is still considered underweight but when my ex and I broke up in early May, I was 118lbs. She used to tease about me putting on 10lbs of bodyweight and 10lbs of muscle. She however got up to 205 before dropping down a little before we broke up by doing Krav Maga. My mom said she didn’t know how I could be with someone that overweight and I told her because I’m in love with her and it didn’t bother me. Only thing that would have bothered me is I wouldn’t have been able to carry her across the alter if we got married. lol I would love to be your 150 though at my 5ft7.
Yes, my ex has always been over the top blunt. Bless her little heart! (sarcasm) While I appreciated her being upfront and honest with me, it was more rude at the end. She used to cry when I would tell her how much I love her, how beautiful she was to me and told me no one has ever made her that happy before. Yep, it all makes sense, dump the one who has never made you happier. lol
But yeah, I would ignore your ex for awhile. It’s not ok for her to think she can think for days or weeks on end and then show back up out of nowhere (if she does that).
My ex from 1998-2000, we were actually engaged once in 2004 for a month. I guess we’re friends now, although we rarely talk, unless it’s on facebook. I resented her for the longest time, though. I was in love with her for years. I pray to God I’m not in love with the previous ex for that long. 3 months and I’m telling people, why the hell do I still love her and want to be with her?
I fix computers for myself for a living. I have my own computer business here in town….computerdoctorsa.com if you want to see me being nervous on tv in 2006. lol You should definitely get into fixing cell phones….the demand is huge out there.
Hey Baseballguy
i’m on day 13 of NC and I feel more and more lonely,
I have a lot of friends too, but recently i feel so lonely… I know if i call them to go out they will say yes immediately.
Everyone have their life to live and I feel they will not fill the void left by my ex … In real this is true, we must learn to live with that void.
Phil, you are doing great really :). Good to know and I want to do alike in the future…
Best
Sorry my responses have been a little bit erratic Phil, I’ve been pretty swamped. Although that’s probably a good thing though.
What a coincidence that your coach lives on the same street as you! I agree that her weight shouldn’t have mattered to you and good for you that it didn’t. Not too many people can look past outward appearance. Yeah, my 150 is pretty good for 5’8″. I wish I could lose 5 lbs of fat and add about 10 of muscle though.
It’s good that you’re still ‘friends’ with that ex anyway though lol. Better to get along than not anyway. And at least now you know time heals all, even if it does take awhile. I hope it won’t take as long this time for you, and I’m pretty sure it won’t. You seem to have a pretty good handle on your emotions.
Looking good on the TV man! You’re practically famous! Lol I’ve always been a tech/math nerd, I guess it makes sense I’m going into mechanical engineering, huh? Lol and yeah there is no cell phone repair shops in the rural area that I live and I think there’s only one in Fargo/Moorehead (where I go to college). I’ve repair friends and families phones before so I figure I might as well do it for a little money too lol. It also seems like a thing an aspiring mechanical engineer would do and probably a good thing for a résumé.
@MisterHandy
Thank you for the kind words and advice. Stick to your NC! I’m on day 8 of my second time around and I know how tough it is. The toughest part for me right now is that she hasn’t even tried to contact me, it’s a little disheartening.
If you are feeling lonely it probably is a good idea to hang out with friends, even if it’s only to grab a bite to eat. If you plan it ahead of time it will give you something to look forward tfor!
Being swamped is definitely a good thing. If you want to give me 5 of your pounds, that would help, thanks. lol Yeah, it took several years to get over that ex because she kept her foot in the door all the time so I never had time to fully heal until she started seeing her now husband. She was wishy washy and oh, I love you but not in love with you the same way, blah blah blah. But I look at her now, I’m not even 1% attracted to her now….it’s so weird when I did everything under the sun to get back with her.
It shouldn’t take as long this time since this last ex cut off all communication from the get go. Now I’m seeing someone else who is vastly different than my ex….it’s still in the very early stages, but life is too damn short for me to sit around wanting to be with Alicia all the time. With all her mood swings and all her other problems, the heart still loves her and a part of me always will. She gave me more love (at the time we were together) than any of my other ex’s did so I guess that was the only real way she knew how to love me. She still chose to follow her same pattern she did with the 2 ex’s that cheated on her, but I still cherish the good times.
I was sooo nervous on tv at that time and it was super cold in the studio. They were supposed to do practice takes with me which they never did. It was pretty much….you’re on next. One of my friends found it so hilarious when I was nervous and said “you go on the google” lmao
What all have you repaired on phones? They give all phones ratings on easiest to hardest to fix and mine (the Samsung S7 edge) is rated a 1 which is the most difficult to fix because it’s water resistant. I always wanted to get into fixing cell phones but the tiny parts scare me because everything has to be aligned correctly with replacing screens and so forth. But absolutely, it would look good on your resume. I am very good at android tweaking for software, but the hardware part, I’ve never done before.
That is kind of odd isn’t it, how you can be head over heels for someone and then have no attraction for them. I guess like I said, time does truly heal all.
It’s good you are moving and for you sake that she is being a jerk and cut off all contact. When you build such a deep relationship with someone it’s only natural to still care about them. It’s good that you remember the good times and aren’t always stewing over the bad, it’s unhealthy. I wish you luck with this new lady!
Lol I thought ‘the Google’ was pretty funny too. You could tell you were nervous but you seemed to relax a little bit as it went on. That had to suck that they told you that you would practice and then back out lol. That’s cool that you own your own business. What did you major in college? Did you take business classes? I’m thinking about taking a few when I go back.
I haven’t done a whole lot of cell phone repair and I didn’t know about ratings for repair. I’ve replaced screens on a few iPhones and one on a Samsung Rugby pro (I think that’s what it’s called). I repaired a lock button once on an iPhone too but that’s it. I’ve always been a bit of a tinkerer and tried repairing things when they break like video game controllers, clocks, laptops, etc. with varying levels of success lol. Most of what I’ve learned on repairing phones is watching YouTube videos and at least the ones that I’ve repaired haven’t been very difficult. They make them so everything comes apart and goes back together pretty easily. I have virtually no clue on the software end of things so that would be a problem for me if I did end up getting into repairing them.
First off, sorry for such a long post. I just read it back…. And I was pretty dramatic lol. You don’t have to answer the questions, they were more rhetorical than anything else. I normally write this stuff on paper but if feels good writing it and knowing someone will read it, even if it isn’t her. Anyway, thanks for reading Phil.
I’m having a bit of a bad day, so I decided to come on here to vent instead of doing something stupid. I’m on day 11 of NC and she still hasn’t even tried to contact me. I don’t understand how you can be having a serious conversation with someone and just stop and be ok with it. It bugs me that I’m the one who can’t sleep at night and I did nothing wrong (in this situation at least.
I don’t know why I still love her. She’s been awful towards me and not even treated me like a human being. How can she just cut me off like that? I’m w big boy, if she doesn’t want to talk to me why can’t she just tell me? She’s a coward and she doesn’t even have the courage to tell me those things. She knows she’s being a jerk and she thinks if she ignores it that it will get better. Maybe she’s right, she has nothing to lose. She treats everyone else well so they will probably assume I did something wrong. That bugs me.
Maybe she thinks she’s too good for me? I guess the grass is always greener on the other side, huh? There was a long tin I thought she was too good for me but I’ve realized as soon as she starts thinking that, the opposite is true. She’s starting college in about a week or so and I’m afraid she will ‘test the market.’ She says those aren’t her intentions but how can I believe anything she says at this point? It makes me wonder if she’s lied to me in the past, I gave her my full trust.
When my best friend first moved to my high school I thought she had a crush on him (we weren’t officially dating but we’re committed to each other.) I didn’t make a big deal out of it but I let her know how I felt. She asked him for his number and texted him anyway saying she was just friends. I never made a huge deal about it and He didn’t text back ever, he is a true best friend. Also, when he was having a tough time she signed a note to him saying she loved him and was there for him, this was before she told me she loved me and it always bothered me. I never said a word. I told myself I was being selfish and that it was just a good gesture in her part. I’m having second thoughts. I know she never cheated on me with him because he would never do that to me. But if she would have, doesn’t that make it just as bad as if she had? Maybe I’m just being irrational.
I feel weak today. Insecure. I feel no attraction toward her but I still love her. How does that work? I feel abused even though I’m not sure if I’ve been abused to the extent that I feel. Is that wrong? Is she just a scapegoat? I feel like calling her and just letting it loose, breaking all bridges and never looking back. I want to see her cry. I feel like a monster. I want her to know my pain.
I feel abandoned. She’s been given so much, I’ve had to work for everything in my life. Our relationship was a microcosm of this for both of us. I cherished her, she took me for granted, and there’s no worse feeling than being under appreciated.
hello Baseballguy1996
I’m on day 17 and so far my ex girlfriend also did not try to talk to me and I start to think that will not even send me message. Today I feel very lonely too! the weekends are the worst days and I feel very bad!
Someone said here at some post something that I really think after reading. It was something like this:
While we are thinking every day about the mistakes we made or how to improve us for take our ex girl back, our ex girlfriend are doing everything to not think of us. Or simply forget about us.
Unfortunately, this is true.
She does not think she’s better than you, it simply does not respond to not give us false hopes of returning dating us. It may be that in a near future they want to think about us and start answer us.
Do not think too much about what she is thinking or doing, they are stronger than us because as I said, they are doing everything to not think about us.
Stay strong
Shit, this thing must have a limit on how much you can write….I did a very longggggg reply and it ended up erasing all of it except 1 word. Give me a little while and I will try to remember everything I typed out. I had about 6 big paragraphs lol, damn
You’re right, and most of the stuff I said I maybe don’t 100% believe. I was just venting I guess. I have been focusing on not focusing on her (ironic, I know) and I’ve been pretty successful at it. Today was just a bad day.
Thank you for the kind words, you will be in my prayers.
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