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I agree with Patricia.
I would also get tired if I’d have to fight for something that clearly shows me it is a lost cause, but something isn’t exactly right here.You said her mental health was suffering during your relationship, but it got better when you both went NC. I mean, that’s what NC is for, right? So that you can show her that everything is okay after you changed things about your life and show her that you can date together like you used to, like any other man she can meet now.
I think she’s just scared that things will quickly become painful for her again so I guess the right approach would be to suggest her something like “let’s just try and see how things will go”, but I am not sure.
It’s your call my dude. I hope everything will work out for you anyways. Go to your therapy. It’s going to be alright. I think we’d all appreciate if you’d write an update post in the future on how things are going in your life or if anything significant happened with your relationship with your ex.
Take care, hope you stay on forum as well.
Wow I’m sorry bro. Maybe it’s just not meant to be and if it is, it will be later on. Maybe you just gotta give it a little time. Let her see that she wont find another man like you. It will be hard tho cause she’s not willing to see the improved you.
This really sucks bro, Im really sorry 🙁
Hang in there and look after yourself. Everything will be okay in the end.
She found another guy. I know him too. He has had mental health problems in the past.
Not mental health problems but physical problems. I seriously think it will not last
I hope it won’t last. Maybe she’ll reflect and come to realize how good you were to her:)
I don’t think it will. I think she is too caught up in the whirlwind of it. She says that she has a connection with him but I think his health problems will come between them.
I just read through this whole thread (first time). My 2 cents…
Painful story. From the beginning, it sounded to me like she wanted to leave the relationship and she just kept dragging you along.
I don’t know details but as an outsider who only knows what was written here, I think you should really just let her go.
If she comes back, she needs to come back on your terms, not hers.
And you need to go out with someone else.
You need to actually let her go and work to stop thinking about her. Don’t do it because maybe then she’ll come back, do it because that’s what is best for you.
@gamecoder.nz ~ I had high hopes for your reconciliation, but now I’m not as sure about it. Maybe her new relationship will fade out or maybe not. Mr_the_ex comments make sense.
I feel badly for you and the children..@gamecoder.nz How are you doing? Any new developements?
Wishing you a Happy New Year:)Things feel like they have taken a backward step. They are away on a camping trip for 6 nights. Tomorrow they come back. She is planning on selling the house later this year but we both own it so I’m not going to let her because she is only doing it because she doesn’t want to own it with me.
I stayed up there for a week and the first few days went well. We talked, teased, got milkshakes and helped her out a lot. It felt like we were finally reconnecting. Then I found out that she didn’t want me there after a few days. Then she tells me that she has no romantic feelings for me. Her behavior and what she says are contradictory. I think she is under pressure from her parents who don’t like me.
I feel like I have to fight just to get back to where I was only a few months ago.
@gamecoder.nz When you say “they” are on a camping trip, do you mean with her parents? What about the guy she was dating? Sorry about the house, surely the kids think of it as home! So guess it’s best to hang onto it. Yes, very strange that she would be so sweet when you were up there and then say she has no romantic feelings for you. Why don’t her parents like you?
I mean her, the kids, some friends and their kids and yes HIM. Yes the kids think of it as home and there is nothing wrong with it. I will fight her on it if I don’t think it’s in the kids best interests to sell it which, from what she tells me, she is not even thinking about that.
Yes she has said that she wants and needs freedom to do what she wants with her life and she wants the responsibility of the house and kids. She also says she doesn’t want to be tied down yet she is open to a relationship.
Her parents don’t like me because I wasn’t good with the kids but now I have changed. They just refuse to see it and are stuck in the past.
@gamecoder.nz It seems your wife should have told her parents that you changed regarding the kids.
When you say she’s open to a relationship, I assume you mean with the new guy, but it seems they’re already in a relationship..
How are you doing? Are you dating?
She has several times but they refuse to believe it. Her dad has listened to too many cop stories and her mum just goes with it.
Yeah that is what is confusing me. She was talking about it in terms of the house where what if she wants to buy a new house with someone but then they she says that owning a house with me is too complicated and she doesn’t want to feel tied down.
I was doing OK for a while then all this shit was dumped on me and I went downhill again. I have tried dating but nothing has come from it.
@gamecoder.nz Sounds like her father is assuming she’s lying and very reluctant to believe her. Cop programs show the worst of the worst case scenarios. And he should know most ex relationships are far from that dramatic and dangerous.
The way you put it isn’t confusing to me. She doesn’t want to own the house with you. She wants to sell it so she’ll be free to buy a new house with someone else..
Apparently she’s been dating the new guy for some months and has developed feelings for him and that’s why she said she has no romantic feelings for you. But I think you said she didn’t have feelings for you prior to dating the new guy?
I feel badly for you and wish you two could be together again with the kids..
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