my soon to be ex husband says he wants to be friends.

[aamls]

omg I’m very depress today, idk why. I feel that all I wanna do is cry. 🙁 it could be that I was off my schedule today, since he took the kids yesterday and I went to exercise late today, and since he doesnt have an actual schedule of when he sees or gets the kids it may be getting to me now. I also really miss him so much today, idk why. 🙁 he didnt even call me to let me know he drop them off at school and to let me know for sure if I had to get them at school. I’m not having a good day today at all. I mainly did it for the kids and some for him to but it seems he doesnt care about me and apparently is doing whatever he wants. I dont even know if he still feels the same anymore. 🙁

[aamls]

what do ya think? 🙁 I just feel very down today, I couldnt even contain my tears as they were just pouring out. 🙁 any advise, tips, or suggestions?

[a.z]

aamls,
Its just too soon to analyze his actions.Don’t do this to yourself,I’m really sorry that you feel down today.
Are you getting kevin’s daily emails?

[aamls]

yes im getting his daily emails. the other night he took my kids my oldest gave him some food I had made and told him according to my youngest that it was from me. is this bad? then when I asked my oldest supposedly said that it was from both of us. now I have no idea which was true. but he was so hungry he ate it. then I just found out my oldest told him that we were moving to another city maybe within a year. because a month or so ago its what we were discussing. while I just found out that and he told his mom and she told me. supposedly he didnt say anything about it. now is this also bad? also he didnt call me at all yesterday to let me know that he dropped the kids off at school or for me to pick them up. if it wasnt for him telling my oldest to pick them up the day before, I wouldn’t have known to pick them up at school. He was also off yesterday and supposedly couldnt pick them up. he gets them on Sundays for a short amount of time and then brings them back early. hes always supposedly busy. everything is stressing me out. I miss him so bad, Idk what to do anymore and now Im a complete mess all over again. im trying to avoid talking to him because I dont want him to hear something is wrong with me as he called today when /i texted him a question. I feel by the way hes acting that hes already forgotten about me. 🙁 he sounds as happy as can be and now I feel depressed again. idk what to do anymore, I cant take this anymore. I feel no contact isnt working, he doesnt miss me and its just pushing him further away from me, but at the same time he most likely is happy with this because he doesnt want to be with me. all we ever talk about is the kids, bills we have in common or stupid things like that. Im so stressed out and at my witts end idk what to do anymore or how I can change this whole outcome. what do you think about all of this? ugh 🙁 thanks im so depressed right now not even exercising helped. 🙁

[aamls]

so he called yesterday morning and I let him talk to my oldest. then I think he called me when he got of work, but he left no voice mail or text and only called that one time. then about 2-2 1/2 hrs later he called the house phone 1 time as well. my children tried to call him back several times but he never answered. when we talk its nothing personal. I really miss him a lot but his actions show like hes happy ect. why do ya think hes acting like this? I’m so very confused. I been feeling down and depressed lately as well because I miss him. what do ya think? any advise? I think he’s coming over today to give me money so I may see him today. how should I act when hes around ect. should I answer his phone calls? im still in no contact but cant take it anymore but I guess its my last hope. ugh. thanks @a.z. @cassie @Aaron4 @clear @bguarino anyone? also what do you think about the 2 above posts as well? thanks 🙂

[bguarino]

Yes you should continue NC and remain calm and composed when he is around. Remember the whole point of this system is to make them want and miss you, and for them to come around and come back to you. Perhaps have something lined up to go to right after his visit so you have an excuse to leave and he can see you are busy.

[aamls]

@bguarino thanks for your reply. 🙂 hmm, I’m almost out of gas in my car because he didnt come yesterday to bring me the money(which is why I think hes coming today) and I have to drive far to take and pick up my oldest from school, which is why I run out of money so fast and dont have gas in the car. lol. but I could maybe drive some where near by like a park or I could either stay in my room or say hi to him and then walk away. im not sure or not be here when he comes by. idk, something to plan out and think about. should I answer his calls or texts? and how long should I remain no contact?

[aamls]

ok Im in need of some advise. anyone please? @a.z. @Aaron4 @clear @cassie @bguarino ok here it goes: I kept texting and calling my husband leaving voice messages but I couldn’t get a hold of him, so I ended up calling him to his job. by coincidence he picked up the phone. it sounded as he wanted to tell me why he wasnt getting it but he didnt.(he sounded busy too) so he got the phone and I was like “umm hi” he said “hi” I was trying to call you but you didnt pick up” and he said he was busy or idk, anyways I then asked him if he could pick up our oldest,(since his job is nearby) that I didnt have any gas in the car and that I was literally on empty”. he said “I called you yesterday to see when I could take you the money, if you would pick up and stop acting like a little kid then I could have taken it to you.” “you really dont have gas at all”? I said no, im on empty with the light showing.(in this time im doing no contact so I didnt pick up and he said that to me) and he said right now he couldnt right now. so I told him the time my oldest gets off and he said he’ll see what he could do. I said ok thanks, he said bye and hung up. (I knew I was gonna regret calling him but I had no other option left) now what? what do I do and or say when he comes over? how do I act?

[aamls]

ok so tonight’s dilemma is this: my husband came to bring my oldest and to bring me the money. ok so for what I hear from my children is this: (I didnt go outside to see him at all, remember i’m doing no contact.) so anyways my youngest told him she was hungry and had a headache, so he started cooking. (I found this weird and strange) anyways he made bacon and said for whoever wanted to go down stairs. so since im doing no contact I didnt want to see him and well I told my oldest to bring me some and my youngest came and brought me a piece.(my oldest said that he said to tell her to bring her ass down here to get it then) then I asked for more and my oldest said he was making some. he ended up making mash potatoes and added corn and bacon. so he gave everyone some. ok so heres what I didnt like. my youngest brought me food. (I had told my oldest to bring me some because I didnt want to see him) he told my youngest that he gave me the food because I bought it because it was mine and that he was giving me the left overs. (according to his mom, he was playing about the left over part, idk) I told my youngest tell him I said thank you. then he goes on to tell my youngest that the only reason he gave me food was for my oldest. that for me not to think anything was going to happen ect. ok this made me angry, because 1. I once bought him a snack wrap from McDonald and never once made a stupid remark like that. 2. I havent spoken to him or even seen him for that matter for him to be disrespecting me like that. idk what to think of this situation because I never did or say anything to him about anything. what do ya think of this? I must add my oldest said he called me his wife today when speaking to someone. that a guy approached him and said if he had a cracked windshield and he said no, but my wife does. is this a good thing or bad? Also he told his mom that hes not doing very well at his job and that he keeps getting in trouble. that hes very stressed and that this separation and everything that happened between us has him bad. is this a good or bad thing? (btw, hes always texting on the phone and he keeps talking to a billion females) which he probably thinks I may not know about or not. idk, he also told my oldest that the girl from his job has a cute butt, funny thing is she got none. idk what to think of all this, im so very hurt and confused. I even told his mom I dont want to see him anymore. he keeps talking to a billion females but yet hes stressed out over a lot of things(idk what) but yet hes stressed out over our relationship. (his mom said he stopped at least mentioning divorce, and that thats a good thing,idk maybe). anyone give me your advise and what you think of this crazy situation. (btw he said hes picking up the kids on Sunday but doesnt know the time, I think hes messing around with females) (he told his mom he was leaving because he had school stuff to finish and needed to rest, if you call talking to females resting)ugh… anyone?? @a.z @cassie @Aaron4 @bguarino ??? thanks

[cassie]

I think you’re doing really well! 🙂 But to be honest, I think next time he comes around and you want to eat his food, I think it’s better that you go to the kitchen and say hello to him, take the bacon/mash and go to your room. It sends off a strange vibe that you get your children to bring it to you.. If you can speak with him on the phone, then you can also say hello to him when he comes by. This way you are nice to him and mature about the no contact and it will make him see a nice change in you. All the strange remarks he is making, and telling you’re children he is just doing to get a reaction from you or try to make you jealous. He knows that your children will tell you and he really wants you to act out but you need to act as though you dont care. Just be completely cool about it!! 🙂 And also, it’s a good sign that he still hasnt gone through with the divorce. Keep up the good attitude – you’re doing really well!!! 🙂

[Alessana]

@aamls Hey there, I’ve been reading your story for awhile actually.

From what I’ve read, I think you still have a good chance in getting your husband back. Plus, he’s not talking about the divorce anymore which is great. He’s probably just trying to fill the hole inside his life that you left in him. Trust me, he’s not gonna find someone better than you. He can lie to other people and be all Mr. Casanova but reality is, he can’t get over you. I say let him do whatever he wants with the females he’s checking out. He knows himself that no other woman can replace your place in his heart. I’m really amazed that eventhough your situation is tough, you still remained strong and went for NC. Have you finished the 30 days NC btw? If you have, maybe it’s a good thing to start being closer to him again. Ignite those flames of your love again, maybe go out to somewhere that means a lot to both of you, just to remind about the good times you both had together. I strongly believe that you and him are gonna get back together soon, just wait for the right time. Keep me posted hunn 🙂

p/s : Mind reading my story? I would love to hear your thoughts on it, thanks x

[aamls]

so a lot has been going on since yesterday. wow I really miss my husband.:-( but anyways this is whats been going on: so yesterday my oldest was misbehaving really bad and I decided to text him. these were my texts to him: Me: Hi, r u at your job? ??? ?? Him: just about to get out why? Me: want to drop our oldest off. almost there. you know what never mind. Him:what? where are you? Me: dont worry about it. im not going anymore. thanks Him: ok your welcome tell them I love them (I told them what he said.) Me: they love you too. Him: whats going on? Me: our oldest is being very disrespectful and I mention what our oldest said. Him: I see to tell our oldest that he knows now and that there will be consequences for that. and the text kept on about our oldest. then he said he thinks he should keep her ect and I told him we both need to be involved, that we both need to discipline her ect. so later on in the text he told me to let him call me and he never got a chance to because my oldest had called him. So then I took the phone and he told me that what did I do? I got angry because of what he said and I hung up. a few minutes later his mom says if she could call him and I asked her why and I forgot what stupid excuse she gave me but gave her the phone to call him. she calls him and talks to him and then says the stupidest thing ever. that if he thinks my oldest has been abuse. (I got angry because when my oldest was smaller we allowed her to stay with my parents. and his mom said that other people would be at my parents house which wasnt true at all. my parents would never in 100 years do any of that and for her knowing that my father recently passed away and to say this stupidity was very hurtful and disrespectful towards us. I think it was really unacceptable.) anyways so then she hung up with him and my youngest end up calling him and explain the whole situation of what happen to him. and he told my youngest (my mother in law asked if he was coming and my youngest said no) he told my youngest that he wasnt coming unless I spoke to him and told him to come he wasnt coming. so then a little while later I decided to send him a text saying hi. he didnt reply so I sent another text saing hi. he then responded with hi. I wrote: Do you wanna talk about this? I wrote Hi again and wrote that our oldest was behaving better. He worte: yes by phone. me: but I think we should still come up with discipline measures for her. Him:by mouths Me: if you wanna talk by mouths I can talk with you later. is this alright with you? him: yeah on phone or in person. Me: yeah by phone. I then texted him telling him to check out our oldest google plus account and to let me know what he thought of it as soon as he was done looking through it. that he really had to take a look at it. Him: I just saw that is some crazy shit. me” I told him: yup and it was a quick look that I saw it. also that I didnt let her know about it because I didnt want her to delete the stuff she posted before he could take a look at it. he told me he appreciate it. also that he didnt see one of the messages but that he saw another one. then after this he ended up calling me and we ended up talking on the phone. we ended up talking about my oldest and trying to come to terms about discipline measures. it went very well to my surprise. Also I mention to him about his moms stupid remark and he said that shes just paranoid ect. anyways he started getting personal asking if I talked to my brother and I said idk why he wanted to know if he was talking to me now or not (because his wife texted me a mean message over a dog that use to be theirs and they gave it to my mother in law and for some reason I ended up in the middle of it, and my husband got angry at that) so anyways he asked me about that, then he told me did I tell you about your sister. I told him yes my youngest told me about it. he goes to tell me that she was making out with this idiot that she was going out with and that he never realized the day he went to argue with that guy (another issue happened here as well,lol) that his eyes were weird. I started laughing so hard and told him if he didnt ever realize that lol. he said no. I told him he made my day by making me laugh and he said he does what he can. is this a good sign? also he told me that he wanted to come and get the kids I asked him if he wanted to come get them and he said no because if they were punished that they would still feel rewarded if he came to get them so that he wasnt going to come to get them but would come tomorrow to come to get them and he said ok. any ways so I told him that it was nice talking to him, to have a nice night and that I had to go and hung up. well a while later we get a phone call to the house phone and he was saying that he was coming over. he sent me a text message saying he was coming to pick up the kids. and he never called me but the house phone and that was a few minutes after he had called and told his mother that he wasnt coming to get the kids but to see how everything was but his text said he was coming to get them. isnt that weird? why do you think he contradicted himself? so anyways my oldest ran down and he was already down stairs when my oldest told us he was down stairs while he was on the phone, saying she had just let him in which is weird because he has keys to here. so anyways his mom hung up and we go outside the room and he walked upstairs. I was so surprised because he showed up unexpectedly again. so when I saw him I told him I thought you told me you were picking them up tomorrow and he said yeah, I told you I was picking them up tomorrow that he said that.that he came to check on them or something idk. so anyways I was excited to see him, but I got disappointing when I saw him because its Saturday night hes with perfume on and everything and he looked like he had a bulge in his pants, Im just hoping it was his pants, idk. but I went into my room and came back out. then we started talking and I mention to him that it was nice of him to come from his home that was so far away to come and check on the kids and all. he said yes I just came from my home. why would he want to “confirm” to m e where he came from? also he looked at his phone so I went into my room and then as im coming out again he said that some guy had kik him. (im not sure if he was saying it just because or if he was saying it so I can know why he was checking his phone atm, I really dont know.) what do you think of this? so anyways I asked my youngest if she wanted to go with daddy and she said yes. so I told them to go ahead and go with him because he already came this way. I was standing really close to him at one of the moments when I came out of the room and then after a few moments he moved. then he had dandruff or something on his shirt so I kinda stared cleaning it of and took my hand of before he said something. lol is this a good thing? his mother was acting stupid because she goes to tell my husband that my oldest was blaming me for everything that happened, and he just looked at me. (later on I told her I didnt like that she did that because hes going to be thinking about all the bad things that happened and she told me that my oldest needs to stop being disrespectful to me, I told her yeah I know that but he didnt even say anything, and she told me that he would probably mention something to our oldest later, but I doubt it) so yeah she talks with out thinking. my oldest was talking about how she has photos of us kissing in her old camera, my husband didnt say anything but I told my oldest to stop and to respect. my oldest also mention that mommy has lost so many ponds and he said good for her. :-/ then she said mommy has a new boyfriend(before she was done speaking he said good for her, ugh, that broke my heart.) 🙁 (we had gone to a Halloween store and I took a picture as I was kissing a dummy lol and she was trying to tell him about that but then she finished telling him and told him I kissed a dummy and he made a weird face to me. I didnt say anything to him but i never kissed the dummy.) also when he was looking at his phone I took my phone out to and he noticed it right away and said so you got a new phone. I was surprised at him calling me out on it and he told me something especially after him not being with me. he told me that I told him that I broke it because I got mad but its not true because I never once told him that, it could have been his mother or my oldest idk but I dont like that. lol also I had gone in my room and he knocked on the door asking me what they can and cant do and I told him basically all privileges were to be revoke and he said they werent gonna go to the pool. also he told me that my oldest went to school with mascara the other day and that he was told by her that I allowed her to wear it so if found out she was lying when I mention to him that she was wearing it and I caught her on time before we went inside the store. what do you guys think of all of this? any advise? is any of this good or bad?

[aamls]

so my children were with him and he dropped them off but I wasnt home. he called me twice but i didnt answer. I texted him and I told him that I saw a miss call from him and well he told me not to worry about it. I ask if everything was alright and he said fine, thanks. then i asked him if the kids went to the pool because my oldest told me they did after he told me they werent gonna go and he said yes and i said oh and none of us texted each other. he however answered me quick. what do you think of my whole situation? @cassie @a.z. @bguarino @Aaron4 anyone? thanks

[aamls]

@Alessana thanks for your reply and reading my story. I really hope I do get him back that’d be amazing. 🙂 im gonna try to stay strong but it gets very hard. yes im still doing no contact round 2 with him but since hes really unpredictable and keeps doing these crazy random things I have no idea where im at with no contact, lol. we should see where my story goes, but as what ever is happening to me is happening im still try to better my self as is. 🙂 im going to answer you right now. 🙂

[aamls]

apparently I just found out that the stupid bluetooth my husband has was given to him by someone who idk who it is. my children were questioning him and he told them someone gave it to him and then he didnt want to talk about it anymore to them. ugh I hate this. any thoughts on this? and the above? thanks @bguarino @a.z. @cassie @Aaron4 anyone? thanks

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