my soon to be ex husband says he wants to be friends.

[aamls]

also does it seem like I may have a chance? thanks

[Aaron4]

He obviously asked who asked about his finger for a reason? I think you should continue to do what your doing &
No don’t tell him that you asked.. Your doing great! And yes he probably does miss you, don’t give up hope! 😀

[aamls]

@Aaron4 Thanks. I wonder what that reason was. :-/ well I left before he got here and for what I heard my oldest told me him put on makeup and left. lol, my mother in law said he was like thinking, lol. He came to drop off my youngest (my oldest didnt go with him, she stayed behind) and I think he was staring at me, funny thing is my was painting my oldest nails so I looked busy,happy (because I was laughing at my sister in laws friend) and confident because I was busy. 🙂 he didnt stay long and said he was gonna go to rest to his mother. I miss him so much but im not sure if he misses me. 🙁 also I had bought him food from McDonald’s because I bought for everyone, my oldest said he already had one but thinks he took it because it wasnt in my room anymore. is that a good thing? I was just buying for everyone and being nice. could that make me seem needy? because were always like that. also my oldest was telling him ya just need to get back together and stop this. I felt uncomfortable. :-/ I told her to stop that and respect and after he left she said, your welcome. omg lol. I said why did you do that he was probably making a face ect and she said he didnt. we didnt talk and I rarely payed attention to him, so I made him seem like hes just another person. ugh, I miss him. what do ya think? @cassie @clear @Aaron4 @a.z. anyone else? thanks 🙂

[bguarino]

Sounds like you did everything rightm . don’t worry about the McDonalds from what you say I can’t see how it looks needy. You bought food for many people and he happened to have some. You played it cool while he was there which is exactly correct!

[aamls]

@bguarino thanks 🙂 so am I doing everything correct?

[a.z]

Hey,
Yes he misses you and he cares about you but don’t ask your kids anything about him (for your own good).Its exactly like drug addiction.you need to stop taking even a smallest dose of him so you can feel really happy. by asking your kids about him,you are taking the dose.
YOU DO HAVE A CHANCE 🙂 just focus on yourself and continue the plan.

[aamls]

hey a.z. thanks for your reply. I think he was starring at me yesterday but when I looked up he turn his face. what could that mean? my oldest also called to ask him something and he ask to talk to me, then my oldest was saying oh she doesnt want to talk to you ect so I took the phone and spoke to him, he sounded depressed or sad but maybe it was me.idk, what do you think? also are you sure he misses me? why do you think he misses me? I miss him so much. its so hard when you say not to ask about him. 🙁 also since hes seeing me “happy” do you think it can backfire on me and he think it was the best decision he made by “leaving” me because now I look “happy”? I just want him back and dont want him to think I dont want him in my life. I really miss him and want him back so bad. 🙁 what do you think of everything? thanks 🙂

[aamls]

so yesterday I talk to my husband on the phone and when he talk to me he told me “im ok I guess” what do ya think of that? btw he also sounded down or depressed. I kept the convo short and ended it, am I doing everything right? my mother in law said when they the kids and her spoke to him last night, because they kept trying to call him and he wouldnt answer the phone, he finally called back. he didnt speak much, he said he was sleeping. his mom said he sounded like he was on something. maybe took something to sleep or drank or something. im worried about him and I cant do anything about it because im in no contact and he wouldnt let me help him. :-/ Im not sure what to think of that and I hated what his mother said. she said she cant do anything (I understand this part) but that if he cant take it anymore and wants to use something then for him to use it) I think that was so wrong of her to say since thats her son she supposedly cares so much about. also this is true he doesnt talk about his feelings and how he feels to no one. what do ya think of this? im so confused, I wish he would stop this non sense but he doesnt. ugh.thanks

[cassie]

I think he will come around! Just keep doing no contact.. you’re doing really really good and its affecting him so it is really working 🙂

[a.z]

aamls,
Yeah i’m sure he misses you and thats just normal.He misses you but it doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to get back with you (now ) .You should follow the plan and a part of the plan is that you should let go of anything about him for a little while.You should stop being obsessed with him,overanalyzing his word/actions,etc.
No,seeing you happy actually makes him miss you more.No one likes a depressed person.

[aamls]

so my mother in law talk to him today and he was fine. he was just sleeping so im happy that hes okay. 🙂 hes coming in a while to pick up the kids to take them to school in the morning. 🙂 finally a break, lol If im not mistaken I think hes seeing a therapist. hmmm…

[aamls]

@cassie you really think so? I hope your right. 🙂 hes coming in a bit should I stay in my room or say hi to him or how should I act?

[aamls]

@a.z. thanks, I sure hope he really misses me. 🙂 but why doesn’t he want to get back with me? and why does missing me not make him come back? its very hard not to focus on what his actions and things he does when hes in front of me. :-/ why does the plan say not to do that? so if I keep being happy in front of him hes gonna miss me more? also how should I act when he comes over? should I stay in my room should I say hi or how should I act? also I think hes going to counseling. is that a good thing or bad? the reason im asking is because it can either be to improve himself and fix his issues or to learn to forget about me. 🙁 what do you think? i really dont want him to forget about me. then i’ll never get him back. 🙁 what do you think of all of this? thanks.

[a.z]

aamls,
There could be million reasons for that aamsls.Both of you need some time.You need some time to heal so you can be a happy confident person again and he needs some time to forget about the negative memories,remember the good ones.He needs to miss you but just missing you can’t convince him to get back with you thats why you should make positive changes in your life.He needs to see the change in you and your life so he can convince himself to get back with you.
The plan says not to that because after a breakup,divorce… you’re addicted to your ex and as long as you feel addicted,you can’t be happy without him.You need to find yourself again,you should be the person he fell in love with,you should focus on yourself because if you don’t stop your obsessions,you can’t attract him the way you should after NC.You made him fall in love with you before so there is a good chance you can do it again.

I know its tough but you should work on yourself.You will fell better soon.
You can go say hi but you should act like his presence changes nothing inside of you.Don’t talk to him about anything and if he tries to talk to you,be cool and keep the conversation really short BUT remember that you are more important than your ex.If you think seeing him makes everything more difficult,don’t see him.Go out,do something.Go out with your friends,go somewhere that makes you feel good,do something that helps you feel better.

I don’t really know why he is going to counseling.But i’m sure that he is hurt and nothing is easy for him.If he wants to learn to forget about you,there is nothing you can do to change that unless you show him that you have changed and you have become a better person.

He won’t forget about you anytime soon.

[aamls]

thanks @a.z. for the reply and answers, I appreciate it. 🙂 theres only so much I can do since I have children with him and see him from time to time to be able to avoid completely his actions and what not. so I dont see how Im not going to be or become “obsessed” with him. what or how do I handle this? I have been trying to improve myself as I have been exercising and trying to go out more even when I feel sick, I even stay in places and fight my anxiety and stuff. 🙂 Im also gonna start studying too. I’ve also tried applying for jobs. so I am trying to better myself. its just really hard when your battling your own demons, lol 🙂 what type of things would make him want to come back? this is the part Im still trying to figure out. oh my that last part you wrote broke my heart. lol I see where making positive changes is really important but how am I suppose to convince him that I’m a new/better person? Im starting to see why so many people give up. 🙁 im feel discourage now. ugh 🙁 Im still gonna try to fight for him but its so hard. I wish I had more money so I could go to counseling but he only gives me a little bit a week. 🙁 not enough for anything, Im basically living as they say, pay check to pay check, I literally have no money saved and never have any money left. 🙁 ugh t

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