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so hes gonna go and get our oldest from school on his break because I have no gas or money and hes gonna bring her home. regardless I still have to take my youngest to the clinic, but oh well, Im gonna try to leave before he gets here, I dont want to see him. I cant. what do ya think?
I think you need time to heal and you need to tell him that so he’ll stop contacting you. When you see him, calmly tell him you need time and space from him to heal from all the pain.
thanks for the advise. im gonna need to do this. so I finally started talking on the phone and he kept trying to talk about needing his proof for child support. 🙁 also he started saying that the letter was nice and I hung up on him. he never brought my oldest here he took her to his job and is bringing her later. im so hurt. i knew he was going to go through with it. I wish I could have bought the relationship rewind but didnt have a debt card to buy it. apparently lost him forever. 🙁
I know it’s a really difficult time for you but you are partly to blame for him not coming back to you. You cant hang up the phone on him! If he says something you dont like or if you are on the verge of crying, politely tell him that you gotta go. If you want him back you need to act like you’re on top of things. You need to act like no matter what he says or not, it wont affect you. No man wants to get back together with a woman who acts out all the time. He doesnt want you back now because he knows you’ll be fighting with him and things will end anyways. No contact will be so so so good for you! You really need to have some space for yourself- you and the children are better off without fighting all the time.
I know what your saying but what am I suppose to do. he’s still gonna file I know because he told his mom that how is he gonna have proof of him helping her with the bills here when he has to act like hes helping me pay the bills else where. I dont understand him. when I was trying to talk to m oldest he was playing games with me and not putting my oldest on the phone. they later showed up. I didnt want to see him and then went in my room as he was down stairs, then his mother insisted in him putting up my ac so he came upstairs and put it up. I didnt say anything to him as I didnt want to speak with him. and he was mad when he left (which at this point in time, why should I if he keeps hurting me) and my oldest said arent you gonna give her a kiss he said nah and left down stairs, my oldest was like what isnt she your friend you can give your friend a kiss, I know he was mad at me, but im hurt and really mad at him. he wants to continue the divorce and hasnt even turn in the papers, its driving me crazy. what should I do? I thought of calling him and apologizing for my behavior but then I started thinking whats the point. I need my time to heal as he wants out. according to my oldest I hurt him to much, but hes hurt me really bad as well and I never went for the divorce. also he asked my oldest Sunday if I’m dressing up for him, and she told him no, that I dont have any clothes, lol I said why did you say that, my oldest said because its true, lol, I said thats just my clothes I have lol. so idk anymore im very confused and hurt, I know he loves me and is very hurt and is getting the divorce which I dont think its fair, but no matter what I do its always about him and what he can get proof of for his stupid divorce. so do I have any chances left at all? idk how to go about this. im very hurt and confused. ugh.
I do know he has notice me making changes and all but that was never sufficient for him to want me back. not even him missing me is sufficient. I sometimes feeling like screaming at him and telling him to f’n finish filing the papers because I cant do this anymore, which has made me think of getting some and doing it myself, the pain is just to much to deal with and someone told me that the pain will start to heal after its over with and no matter what I do nothing seems to be helping me at all. ugh.idk what to do anymore and I feel like putting a restraining order on him just so I can have my time to heal. what im going through is not fair. what do you think? and one more thing, one part of me wants no contact to start healing but the other part wants to make false friendship in hopes of trying to win him back, but then I start thinking who am I fooling. I cant keep fooling myself. this sucks. advise please…
so Im not sure if I should or if it would back fire but should I 1. call him to apologize for my behavior 2. leave him a note on his car stating im sorry i wasnt feeling well 3.going in his job with coffee and breakfast and apologizing for my behavior and thanking him for bring the food and putting my ac up or 4. not doing any of the above. also please advise on the above, thanks btw the reason /i said 4 was because I was thinking would it make a difference. hes still getting the divorce anyways, but I can be nice and start a false friendship with him and see how it goes, maybe asking him to help me with exercising and studying, idk something, maybe?
As I’ve said before, the only way you’ll be getting him back is if you start being nice to him. No matter what he says to you, just be nice to him and act as though you dont care. You can go ahead and start a false friendship with him if that’s what you feel like, but honestly, I don’t think you’re ready. I don’t think that ou are at the point where you can control your emotions in front of him. Everytime you see each other, you get mad at him or he gets mad at you. You need to stop giving him reasons to get mad at you. Don’t ask him to help you with exercising and studying.. That’s all WAYYYYY too early! Dont do option nr 2 – dont tell him you’re not feeling well – that will not attract him! Option nr 1 – if you can control yourself and your emotions on the phone then go ahead. If you cant, then dont call him! Option 3 – Nice gesture but you may feel like a fool afterwards. If you can deal with the fact that you may get rejected and still not show him your emotions then do it.
But as I’ve said before – you need to act your best self around him.what excuse could I use for my behavior then? should I leave it alone or should I just him a note on his car saying sorry about yesterday, thanks for bringing food and putting up the ac, I appreciate it. 🙂 does that sound ok? and do I even stand a chance at getting him back?
i just found out that he has mentioned a couple times at random times that we can only be “friends”. ugh what is that suppose to mean and what am I supposed to do and act.
Dont worry about what he says – he’s upset, hurt, mad and probably also confused – so he’s likely saying a lot of things that he hasnt thought through. I believe you still have a chance but only if you change how you act when you’re around him. You dont need to make an excuse for your behavior – there really is no good excuse. You can write the note 🙂 But dont expect him to do anything in return or to call or txt you saying thanks. Only leave the note if it makes you feel better 🙂
he called today, probably to see why my youngest didnt go to school. I didnt pick up as much as I wanted to. I feel like starting a false friendship with him but dont know how to. also I never wrote the note because I never went by his job but went to go and run some errands I had to run. I was thinking of being nice to him any time I see him, but acting like hes just another person. idk what too do anymore. do you really think I have a chance at all? he seems really convinced that hes done.:-( why do you think I have a chance at getting him back?
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