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Posts
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hmm did some more thinking and perhaps he put you ahead of himself all the time and finally decided that it was about time he has to put himself first? but than he couldve simply told you if tht was the case… very confusing as i am sure many of us has never heard of a situation like this. It’s very hard and would be cool if “kevin” the creator of this board could shine some light to help you out but i doubt he would message.
But i hope you are doing a lot better MrsWB. I dont want you to be holding on forever and sometimes it’s best to try and forget it all and live your life. I havent felt like how i feel today in a long time. I finally got to sing out loud in my truck without feeling sad, i got to work fast and effectively without being stopped to think about her. It is strange. Hopefully this continues as i need this feeling to carry on with my life. I have also starting playing World of Warcraft (PC game) as b4 my ex it kept me really occupied and took over my life lol
Pingpong: i had my annual review with my boss yesterday, it was great then i started to cry. I told him everything i was going through and he suggested i need to text him again and need straight up answers. He said to ask to talk about it because it is driving me crazy. He said all he is gonna say is no. He’s already saying no to you during this no contact.
I don’t know. And you are right, the best i can do is go on with my life without answers. But my ex did say “i’m breaking up with you for all the cliche reason”. Yeah, that does not help me, what are cliche reasons!
I only got 2 “cliche” reasons, one of them is “it’s not you, it’s me” uh, yeah it is me. If i had all you wanted you would not let me go. 2nd: “you deserve more.” Yeah, becausw you can’t come up with anything else to say why you are not into me anymore.
One last thing, and i mentioned this to you last week: i texted him last week and did a subtle “hey. So i decided to go home next month. It will ne nice spend time with family. 🙂 hope all is well”. He did respond immediately, but it was only like “nice. Have fun and be safe.” And nothing else.
Yeahhhhh. I thint that’s my answer that: yup. Totally over you.
I see, he didn’t ask about you. Maybe he is or he isn’t but for now I think it’s best for you to live without him MrsWB. You are a strong independent woman and I know you will pull through. Pretty sure you can attract many men so it’ll be easy pickings for you lol but when you’re ready that is. Please go enjoy yourself, try to make many plans with your girlfriends so you’re occupied. Have fun! Hope work went well for you.
For me, I no longer care if there is another guy in the picture as for some reason I have shut him out of my mind, and am only focused on my future relationship with her and improving myself. No messages or anything from her yet, other than her using my “Spotify” (music app) cause we shared accounts since I pay monthly for it. She stopped using it after she told me there was another guy..PRETTY SURE she used it lol but it’s weird idunno why it’s bothering me lol back to work!
Pingpong: i just could not accept reality. If he wanted me, he won’t leave. People break up for many reasons and mostly it’s because they have so many issues and fights to the point that it is toxic. We were not kind of couple. He told me that the last relationship he had lasted 3 years. He said she was great. Wanted to marry her and all, but he ended it too. I said “that just means she wasn’t the right one for you.” 8 years later he did the same to me. Life.
I was also thinking. Maybe this just wasn’t about your ex. This is about you too. I’m sorry, but at 24, at least when I was 24, I just wanted to be a kid. I don’t want to give you false hope, but after you are all done being single, you might get back together. Maybe not.
You are a lot stronger than i am. I’m falling apart. It’s hard too that I live alone. I go home to a cold, empty house. But that is my reality.
Hey guys,
Sorry I have been pretty busy and I couldn’t reply to your entries and I will go in order.
MrsWB, I am sorry I didn’t mean to make you worry about the possibility that is seeing someone else, mine was just a supposition with no fundaments, I was analyzing other motives of his sudden disappearance, I am most likely wrong.
If he told you his reasons were cliché then I do have to suspect they might be excuses not to commit fully in this relationship.
I come back home to a cold and empty house as well, and it’s extremely hard for me as well. I live alone and my ex is a thousand miles away, spending her time together with another man at work and in her free time.
I have a work app on my email address account that tells me when the emails I’ve sent to somebody, has been opened/read and at what time. She has read my goodbye letter email exactly 7 times and no reply, no decency to write it back at least but I don’t wanna complain again now.
MrsWB, I will try to provide all the comfort I can, just want you to know I am here if you need to talk.Pingpong,
I am glad to know you are feeling stronger. I am honored if my words can help you or inspire you to overcome this situation, it’s tough but letting go of those bad feelings can totally rejuvenate you inside. Your ex is seeing someone else, so what?
Let her do that!You are still a worthy man, you are not inferior compared to that guy, she’s just experiecing something different. Good vibes will only get back to you, no resentment, no revenge must hold in your heart.
MrsWB try to let go of the rage that’s rising up inside you, it’s toxic. Tell yourself you are not falling apart, you can bend but not break, you are going to get out of this!Fishing: no problem. My posts have been limited too. I know you did not mean to get me into panic mode, but that is definitely a possibility that he met someone else even though he said he hasn’t and that his friends also tell me that he has not met anyone and that’s no BS. And his bestfriend says he is not one to jump from one girl to another. And they must all be true, but people change, you know?
I am not trying to give you false hope here, but if she is reading your email 7x, she is contemplating what to say or whether she should answer it or not. When they are with another person, it sucks that it messes with your head. I know. I was that person. And honestly, the only time I finally let go of the idea that he was going to come back for me is when he proposed to another girl. I tell you, it was THE BEST THING ever! I finally got that weight off my chest and said “welp, he’s getting married. I have no chance.” And that is when I met my now current ex… Because I was finally in a good place. I am trying to get back to that place. Sometimes i pretend he is with someone, so I know I have no hope anymore he is coming back for me.
MrsWB, the key is acceptance, I am never tired of saying this. Acceptance is not agreeing to decisions or circumstances but it’s being conscious of the reality of things, you are present. Just let this sink in deep into being and it won’t hurt anymore like before.
It doesn’t have to come to the point you need to see your ex married with someone else to stop the pain, you have to find the strength to end it earlier.
The sooner you start this process the sooner you will get in a better place.I am not sure about what my ex reading so many times the email means, could be for more reasons. I contemplated the thought she might just letting the goodbye absorb in herself by reading and finally move on, I can’t really tell you, she has become unpredictable to me in the last months.
Pingpong & Fishingthesky: Both of you will meet other women. You seem to be handsome guys from just your words. Haha!! It will be ok, i know. Just need to go through the motions.
I don’t know if you guys believe in astrology, but tomorrow is the rare black moon. This means that there will be a sudden shift in energy… It’s a huge positive shift, so I need to get ready and leave the board for now and focus on making myself happy to go along with it. 🙂
MrsWb, you may be right but i have always seen myself a bit more mature than other young men my age. to be honest..i would love to settle down, as my intentions were to propose to my ex this year.. more towards decemeber actually. But this has all changed. Now that her and i have broken up. Before i use to be able to see my future clearly but now it’s all a blur. We talked about children, and how many, etc but one thing was the problem before we can do all that..and it was to be finacially ready, and that was the key i was working towards and i tried to bring in as much income as possible but she would get upset at me for that as i had spent lesser times with her. I was too focus on the future and shouldve focus just on the present. But now since the future is unclear to me. All i live now is for the moment.
Fishinginthesky, you are absoutely right. I have felt incredible in the last 2 days, as the negativity doesnt make a deep impact anymore. It still lingers around but I am learning to become more immune. There use to be rage in my heart as when i first found out, she told me dating other ppl weren’t her intentions, but now i dont care anymore. Like what you said, shes experiencing something different, something new, and that is ok. Maybe this is what she needs to do, to see what I have from what the guy she’s seeing doesnt have. But I can actually go through my day now, without feeling really down every few hours. I wonder how i will feel like by the time i have to make contact again, 3 weeks from now.
what do you guys think about this..Canadian thanksgiving is coming up and i wanted to text my ex’s mom because i feel that it would be the most respectful thing to do since i have been in there family for 7 years and this year will be the first time i wont be there for a holiday dinner. I was thinking of saying ” Hey L___, wanted to wish you a happy thanksgiving! I can smell the stuffing from here! Please send my holiday greetings to grammy, and all the aunties, as i miss and love you all.”
My family never celebrated thanksgiving as we are very oriental, and not really chrsitmas. Or any american holiday actually.. so i am very thankful for my ex’s family to have welcomed me in and taught me so much about the holidays and my love for stuffing, as i didnt have a clue what the hell it was before LOL. My ex’s family have taught me SO much from expanding my english vocab, as I am not FOB (fresh off the boat) as i was born in canada, but english is my 2nd language, so when i analyze things in my brain, it goes from vietnamese to english..if that makes any sense lol. I hope me messaging her mom wont effect NC? since it is not my ex that i am contacting..I wanted to say my ex’s name in too but probably best not to.. unless you guys have any other ways i can word it.. but best not to.. as my intentions arent to stick out to my ex, but i want her family to know than i still love and miss them. Or should i just not contact her mom at all..
Lol thank you MrsWB, finding other women is not a problem, I know a few who have been and are waiting for having their chances but I am shutting down every possibility at the moment; we will see in the future. I need to stay single for a while because my emotions are still messed up, I have to concentrate on my full change, I don’t wanna make the same mistakes with whoever is next for me or, preferably with my ex if she comes back.
I don’t believe in astrology, my ex does, she has read me cards sometimes.
Whatever happens tonight I wish you good luck and I hope all the positive forces will flow to you.Pingpong it’s relieving not to feel that heavy weight on your chest anymore, isn’t it?
You will feel better as each day passes if you keep this mindset.
My ex and yours must be almost same age I suppose, she turned 23 in August. They are so emotionally unstable at that age especially after a breakup. Their balance shift frantically from decision to another in a bat of lashes, so don’t be surprised that she told you first she didn’t wanna date and then she actually did. You know that girls, no matter if they tell you they don’t wanna a serious thing with you, are always projected in the future when it’s about relationships, they need to be certain that their man will be able to qualify as best choice for their future.
I know my ex left me because she didn’t feel any guarantee anymore that I was going to be recovered and stable for our future together, that’s why she’s finding it out with another man. This test is important for your ex too, I don’t wanna give you false hopes that she will magically realize you are perfect, she might realize the opposite but let it be, you can say you contributed to her happiness anyway.I believe it’s appropriate to send wishes for thanksgiving, it wouldn’t bother her or her parents, she made the choice to separate, not them. In my case, my ex’s mother birthday is coming soon but she wouldn’t like to receive anything from me because she’s very protective towards her daughter, so I am respecting that.
thanks fishingthesky, really appreciate your input. yes, it is very relieving as when i held everything, all it did was cause me to stress. My ex is 24, so our ex’s are very close in age. You aren’t giving false hope , as it is just reality and if it happens, i have to be prepared for it. I thought about what you said a few days ago as our ex’s being our “properties” and you are right. I love her so much and i dont own her in anyway, she is a humanbeing and if she wants to date or do whatever, she can! It’s her life and i have no reason to be controling her. i love and respect her so much, i cant beleive i thought that way before when i found out she was “seeing” someone. Once again, thank you fishingthesky, as you keep opening my mind more each day.
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