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Well the situation with my ex escalated when I was asking her to give me closure because she seemed she had made her own choice before even letting me know and breaking up for good. Instead she just kept ignoring my request, indulging and never granted me that, rubbing in my face the other times she had wanted the same but we had agreed to work things out.
I am making progresses, even if sometimes I seem to relapse, but I would really like to make all this effort worthwhile for myself.
You should contact her anyway, I know in the end I will, because I need peace of mind.Hi Fishingthesky: It is just now I read your story. Yeah, you are young at 30ish. 🙂 But like the other guys, no matter how young have long term relationships. Sometimes I was thinking I wish I had that power to attract my ex back because so far, it’s mostly the guys I am talking to here wanting their woman back in their life and are doing everything to win them back.
At least you do have your emotions in check and are not jumping from one to another after a breakup.
I wish there was something I can say to assure you she will come back. Just stay hopeful and positive, my friend.
Hey MrsWB,
Thanks for reading my thread. Well after three times you are dumped, it’s sad to say, but you get sorta prepared on how to face the consequences.
Believe me I’ve been through two months of ferocious intestine battles, emotional ups and downs all the time before finally finding some peace. It came only by a deep self analysis and letting go process, my therapy sessions have been really helpful as well.
Despite all my serious issues and unintentional harm I’ve caused to my ex (which I am truly sorry for) I think I am still a worthy human being and I deserve to be respected and loved as anyone else.
I know she still has feelings for me and she is using indifference to hurt me on purpose, but I am not affected by this anymore. She’s trying to move on and feel better again, I wish her to be happy for real even if not by my side.
Maybe in some months, when she has calmed down inside she will reach out, not necessarily to get back together but because she knows she can always count on me, I am not sure how I will feel at that time. I am hopeful and positive, you do stay the same!I went back and looked at the date of your first post. It’s the day my ex broke it off with me.
It seems to me that everyone here had some sort of back and forth converstation with their exes shortly after a breakup. I had none at all! In hindsight, maybe that is a good thing because now there are no fights, no yelling etc…
The difference with mine compared to a lot of people here is we had no fights or arguments whatsoever prior to breaking up. The only one big fight we had is when he criticized the way I drove! I admit, I am a bad driver.
I was talking to my bestfriend this morning and she told me it seems like my ex just did not love me at all. This is why I came here to get the male perspective. Maybe she is right, I just don’t want to accept it.
Reading your situation about psychological problems, my ex had so many inner demons too! But according to my girl friend, his inner demons had nothing to do with him breaking up with me and it’s just he doesn’t love me or wasn’t that into me. I don’t know because I told her you saw him, he was always there for me. But he did tell me he felt he could not keep up with me and that he felt he can’t give me what I deserve, and what he meant by that Is we doesn’t see me as his lifetime partner?
Fishingthesky: as a male, is this correct? Even with all your psychological problems, did you ever consider letting her go? I must have missed a couple parts your entry, and I apologize if I did.
Also, you are a worthy human being! I do not know how serious your psychological issues are but I do hope it is not bad enough to push people away. Because i feel two people who are meant to be together work things out, unless you are physically abusive, a cheater, have serious drug addictions, or are a serial killer. If you are right for each other, you allow each other to help one another.
MrsWB,
Yes I am a man lol. She did not contact me at all shortly after what you can call breakup, because in the end, she just decided to disappear after my text and deleting me from any source of communication. It was obviously out of rage and hurt.
Well my issues are serious and that’s why it takes a while before I can recover fully but I am way way better than a year ago, I am confident I can make it.
Of course I considered many time to let her go, especially every time she left but she wanted me to stay, she wanted to help me because she said I was a good man for her, I was the one and only she could see a future with.Your situation is puzzling in fact but I think he has been thinking for a while before taking his decision. He could have realized that you two weren’t going toward the same direction, he wanted something else, I don’t believe he doesn’t love you. Could be temporary, he might come back after some time, I cannot tell you for sure. I hope for you that things will work out or either you find your inner peace even without him.
Hi fishingintheskys. I didn’t realize that when you and your ex broke up , it was very close in dates as she broke up with me a week before my bday, aug 9. She did message me saying “I know this is hard but always rmr that your family and friends love you” but all I said was thank you as the break was so fresh and my heart was broken.
So you and I are in similar paths but I do not have the phychological issue as it must be much harder on your behalf. how are you doing today?
Today I feel probably the best ever since the break up. It’s strange. I still think about her but I don’t feel so bad. No sadness. I kept reading a lot things you said about letting go and if she’s happy like this, so be it cause truely I my heart I want her to be. Even if I’m not in the picture. Thank you fishingthesky, as your zen ways have made a big impact for
Me moving on. I have made a draft on what to say 3 weeks from now. I don’t have high hopes for her to come running back but I am okay with that. I guess I am making huge improvements.Hey guys. I did say I was gonna get off here, and i am still going to do it. I just had a really low point last night. 7-8 weeks of my ex not contacting me just made me realize that he is not coming back. It made me really depressed. I am at work now and I am falling asleep. I have to accept my reality.
When fishingthesky mentioned about him probably wanting to meet other girls, i admit, i did freak out. And i know he did not mean it, but he was being honest about his feelings. And really, it’s always happened to me. My ex just did not contact me at all and it’s like, don’t you have an inch of care?! The only reason you guys are NC is because you are respecting their wishes, but is killing you inside. I wish i had that. I wish he was realizing how much he can’t stand not being with me. But he seems happy. It doesn’t help that his bestfriend is showing interest in me so i had to stop talking to him as well.
Hey MrsWB, your situation is very puzzling as he left with no answers at all and it’s just poison. Have you maybe considered writing a letter to him perhaps for closure for your sake? So hopefully it all will be answered and you may finally be at peace? As I’m not trying to be tough or anything but 7-8 weeks is very long for something to just not say a word, since you two had such a connection.
Did his best friend tell your ex that he’s been in contact with you? I assume not as that might break their friendship. Be strong MrsWB. And don’t fall alseep on the job lol
Pingpong, he did email me 4 weeks ago when i emailed him first. I think i wrote it on my thread. You can go read it. I think it is just me not wanting to take his word for it.
When he said “you deserve more, i don’t think i can give”. That wasn’t really an answer. What do I deserve. What is it he can’t give?! I think he just did not want to be upfront that he does not want to commit to me in the future. Then say it! I am all calm in person, but deep inside me, it’s killing me.
My ex has a complictaed mind, I have to admit. He has a very unusual way of thinking. That doesn’t really bother me and I am not saying that as an excuse because he treated me well the entire time. His bestfriend most likely did not say anything. It will ruin their friendship. He knows that. Like I said, even they were shocked when they found out. Since it’s been 7-8 weeks he should know by now. He is a tough cookie to crack. I know his entire life story and he didn’t make a lot wise decisions in his 20s… Right now, he’s just kind of steady, and not a trouble maker at all. You past should not define who you are though. He kept telling he how he isn’t a good man. Before we dated he also gave me a disclaimer that he is selfish and has always put himself first before others. I know. I took the risk. And during our relationship, he always put me first. Then during the breakup he said he did not want to do it anymore. Ok, fine. Like I said, maybe I should have taken his word for it. But no, i’m dramatic like that and keep looking at the past. Lol
It almost seems like he pre-empted everything like, ooooh i’m a bad man and i know i will hurt you. But hey, i made a choice.
hey mrswb, got back from long hours but i hope youre holding up. I had to reread your thread as i forgot that you emailed him after 2 weeks. I was reading a blog before about relationships and that during a break up they said you have to assume your ex a liar, as they love you so much that they dont want to hurt you as bad and during the break up they wont tell you everything.
your situation is making me a bit frustrated as i feel you should ask for answers from him like what makes him think that he isn’t good enough for you, since it seems like he was perfect for you.
weird thing happened to me today, not sure if you are familiar with “pandora” the music app that you can make a playlist. my ex started using my account agin ( she stopped when she told me she was seeing someone) but i noticed the playlist she uses it was on the top..ODD.. hope im driving her crazy in her mind lol. I am sure there are many things that reminds her of me
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