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yeah I’m confused as well. Her parents really liked me, her friends really liked me but her roommates are crazy and did not. They convinced her i was “verbally abusive” when i was NEVER that and she told her mom that and now her mom doesn’t like me lol. But her best friends have told her she’s full of it pretty much so i have that going for me. And our relationship was excellent.. she was never happier then with me. So well see. I’m a month NC and nothing fmor her so idk yet it might take her a while lol.. i was her first tho in bed and love so that has to mean something i think
Guys, should I send the letter after a month or after 2 months when I know her exams are over? When would be the best time?
Cantsum,
Try to not think of the letter yet. You could start writing it, and each day or every couple days look over it and make adjustments so it guarantees it is written in wise mind 🙂
I would see what happens during your month of NC. What day are you on now? Has she made contact as of yet? I just thought of you and wondered how you were doing/ if you had updates 🙂You can see how you feel towards the end of NC especially if she has not yet said anything by then but right now it is still soon so I would wait a couple more weeks and maybe around day 26 start thinking of if it is best to send the letter now or wait a month and extend your NC. Feel out how YOU are doing, not just her. This is YOUR time to be selfish and do what is best for you 🙂
@Brokehearted123 … Good to hear from you 🙂
It’ll be 2 weeks tomorrow, so half through NC. I haven’t heard from her as of yet, but to be honest I’m not bothered if she doesn’t. I’ve got a good idea of what I’m going to write, so I’ll make drafts of it sooner rather than later.
That sounds like a good idea! I’m on day 7 of NC and still nothing… but I was super clingy/needy and getting worse so I’m hoping he will think I will say something and will start to wonder why I’m not??
And I’m glad you’re getting to a good place 🙂 Also if she is so stressed/busy it may also be easier for her to avoid things…short term at least and then the crap will hit the fan, etc. And yeah you can start your drafts now and edit it every now and again 🙂
@Brokenhearted123 … that’s the main reason why I think she might not contact me, because she’s just fully focused on her exams. When her head is cleared up of all this mess, I think she’ll be more open to speaking.
Yeah that makes sense. When do the exams start? Does she have an exam week or are they all over the place time wise? But yeah other stress could distract her we never know! I wish we were psychics haha it would be so much easier :p
And let me know what you think on if no contact will help break my neediness and make him wonder where I am bc he prob is expecting me to be begging for him back? It’s the last thing I wrote on my post haha.@Brokenhearted123 … according to many, NC removes the negative traits your ex assimilates you with: i.e neediness, insecurity, etc … so yeah, NC can only do you good 🙂
But it’s up to you to stop yourself being needy if you guys get back together, because if you don’t, it’s likely you’ll break up again.
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I’m not too sure when they start, but I know they end on the 16th May.
I wish we were psychic, or at least could mind read, so then we’d know exactly what our exes were intending. I always hope what exes are saying/thinking is “Why hasn’t she/he called yet, I expected him to beg if she/he ever cared about the relationship”.
I think that’s what goes through their heads early on during the period of No Contact, then it goes to “I wonder why …” and that’s when the missing stage begins!
I think she’ll realise the massive void in her life, she has to … she can’t be over it after 2 weeks.
You’ve got to tell yourself that … there’s no way, if you had a long relationship, your ex is going to over you so quickly, no matter what people tell you.
I got the email from Kevin telling about the different stages: Breakup Pain Healing >>>> Bad Memories Healing >>>> Missing You Badly >>>> Moving On
I think she’s still in the break up pain healing, and so am I. 2 weeks or so from now she’ll be somewhere between bad memories and missing me badly … I’ll wait a couple of weeks and then send the letter.
… I think my ex is in the
OMG my ex contacted me …
“Hey, hope you’re OK! I just transferred you the tent money, so you should be £80 richer. Hope uni is going well and you’re enjoying the sun!”
😀 😀
Does this look good??
@cantsum that’s so exciting! Stay strong. I’m hoping my ex will contact me soon… and yeah that’s true I would have to work on my neediness.
BUT I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU. Stay strong!!! This is definitely good she is thinking of you!!!!!!
@Brokenhearted123 … haha thanks 🙂 I’m definitely taking this as a good sign. She must be thinking about me and possibly our relationship/break up.
I think you should follow what I’ve done, i.e keep no contact, deal with your anxieties and then possibly your ex will contact you.
I’m just going to keep cool now … do you think I should remain NC till the month is over?
Yeah I’m going to follow your example and we will see how things go… and yeah stay NC for now and see if she contacts you again. I really hope my situation goes the same how yours go.
At least she is thinking of you. Stay NC for now and see what happens especially if she thinks she can get you at the drop of the pin.
I highly recommend to wait until exams are over. If you throw your contact attempt in there in the middle she will most likely see it as distraction and will not be happy. It is good she sent a text but do not over think the meaning of it. take it as it was what she said. It does not mean she wants to get back etc. It means she sent you the money. The positive to take from is that she did it now so you are in her mind. But like I said to brokenhearted, person ending the relationship does not go through those stages in same order because they had time to prepare in their mind for the end of relationship because they thought about it before whereas to you it came out of the blue. She is now concentrating those exams and pushing thoughts of you out of her head as much as she can. She propably feels relieved that she does not need to worry about you right now and also bit guilty because she hurt you. Once her exams are over there is now avoiding of facing the situation and her feelings for you and then when she has more time in her hands comes missing, regret and moment of dealing with those feelings of course I dont know her but I have been in bit similar situation with my exams and breaking up so I am drawing on that experience. She is not me though but just try to think that there is a different way of seeing it as well.
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