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My mum came up into my room to see me yesterday, she wanted to see if I was OK.
After a long talk of her asking questions about how it ended and how my ex is/was acting, she told me that she is 100% that the stress of her exams had just overwhelmed her and because she is so determined to get the grades at Uni to get onto her master’s degree, she had to end the relationship. I even let my mum know we had sex before the break, which my mum thought was weird and thought maybe explain that the break up was a rash, spontaneous decision.
My mum told me I should send an email to my ex to let her know that I’m going back to my Univeristy town tomorrow, and that I hope for the best in her exams and am open to her contacting me.
I agreed, but I haven’t done it.
I’ve been NC for 8 days now, without my ex contacting me once.
My ex suffers from extreme anxiety, and I know she’s locked in her room all day every day. There’s been no updates on her FaceBook, no nothing.
I’m a bit worried for her, but I’m feeling OK.
How long were you together?
If you drop an email, I suggest you keep it short and just wish her good luck for her exams. If she doesn’t reply I guess it means she needs to some space to deal with her anxiety and her exams. Go NC for 30 days.
Let’s see what the others say as well.
Good luck!
We were together for a year.
Her exams are over in 2 months, should I go no contact for that amount of time, or is 30 days OK?
We had some great sex just before the break up, did she really lose attraction for me?
It’d be nice to get more people’s opinions on this one or even better @Kevin
I dont think you should contact her right now. Let her get her head back on. I don’t know your ex but I have six Uni exams in two weeks time and I am working all the time full time and I can say right now I am a wreck : ). So if she is stressed about those things and having some personal issues she propably does not know if she is coming or going. I don’t think it was about not having feelings for you. I have days when I feel either so tired or so overwhelmed that I am not sure am I coming or going and this was part of the reason when my NC was over I decided not to contact my ex and just leave it and see if he comes back to me. He has not but I am so busy and with so much stuff going on that honestly I am okay with that. Right now what I cannot spread myself on is giving time to someone else. So she could be in similar mode but hard to say since I dont know her and you don’t know me : ).Give her some time and see if she contacts you after the exams.
@Finntoga … do you mind reading the post I linked to you (https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/my-nc-experience-so-far/) … it’s a lot more detailed 🙂
Thanks for your reply,
I don’t know what you mean by “she probably does not know if she is coming or going”?
There were absolutely no “signs” she was fading away from the relationship, NOTHING. Yet she told me during the break “How did you not see the signs?”
We were productively planning a bike trip to France: buying the essentials and she was talking to her mum about selling her old bike to buy a new one for the trip.
We had sex on the day of the break up, directly before the break up in fact … it just makes no sense :(!
I don’t mean coming and going like literally out of the relationship but more like in her mind she probably has so much on that she might not be sure how much she can cope with and if you feel down on top of it (I am lucky I am not depressed on top of the stress I am under now) I dont know. And it is possible she in her mind have given signs problem with some of us women is that we think we are giving clear hints but they are not clear to a man when in reality we should just say if something is wrong straight out and clearly.
I had sex with my ex on the day we broke up, I knew he was ending it though he did not say so at that moment on the contrary he spoke how much he wanted but I just felt it was coming and I still did it.Like I said she just could have felt it was all too much for her at that moment.
I don’t mean coming and going like literally out of the relationship but more like in her mind she probably has so much on that she might not be sure how much she can cope with and if you feel down on top of it (I am lucky I am not depressed on top of the stress I am under now) I dont know. And it is possible she in her mind have given signs problem with some of us women is that we think we are giving clear hints but they are not clear to a man when in reality we should just say if something is wrong straight out and clearly.
I had sex with my ex on the day we broke up, I knew he was ending it though he did not say so at that moment on the contrary he spoke how much he wanted but I just felt it was coming and I still did it.Like I said she just could have felt it was all too much for her at that moment.
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