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My husband asked me for a divorce about a month ago siting unhappiness as the reason. I am aware we were both unhappy and in a rough spot. We have been together 9 years married for 5, we have 2 children together. Within a week of him asking for a divorce I realized he was dating a woman we both work with whom is also married (apprently is also asking her husband for a divorce). I have begged him, pleaded with him, and told him I will do anything to make it work but he states he just does not love me anymore and wants to be happy. So within the last week I have accepted that and let him do his own thing and not shown any emotion about it what so ever. I still desperatly want him back and have initated the NC rule as of today (it has been hard due to us living together until now). I just don’t beleive anything is going to work, he seems so happy with this new woman, spending all his time with her and telling her he loves her when they have only know each other for a few months! I just feel like it is a hopeless situation because she is younger and thinner and he seems so happy. PLEASE HELP!
Damn that sucks and I agree, it does sound pretty hopeless..I asked my man for input on this question..he says, If he’s happy and actually in love with the other woman, there’s nothing that can be done. I have a cousin that left his wife after 12 years and decided to make a new life with the new girl. His ex-wife also poured her heart out, begged him for counseling and pleaded that she would do anything to make it work. Nothing ever worked. If he’s in love with her, I think you should put the focus on you and not on how to get him back. The way you describe it sounds like they are really in love especially since he’s spending all his time with her instead of trying to repair your marriage. If he isn’t in love with you anymore, all you can do is accept that his feelings changed. Think about the reasons that may have contributed to the death of your marriage and improve those areas that you can control. And find ways to improve your life so you and the kids can be happy without him. What was making him so unhappy?
Your husband and his new woman are in the honeymoon phase – all romances feel all encompassing in the first few months. I would work on yourself, try not to show emotion, back away and get on with rebuilding your life. But I don’t discount that he might come back some time – its not going to be immediately – but once their flaws (everyone has them) become more apparent, they might not be so loved up. It is about you right now though – just try to focus on you and the children. Also – if you know why you two were so unhappy, its worth trying to fix your side of it. I hope things turn out well for you
I don’t see this guy coming back so I don’t want to give you false hope which is even more painful. If he can walk away from a long-term relationship and a marriage even though he has 2 kids with you, he’s not the right one. You should devote all your energy into making a life that would make you happy.
When his honeymoon period ends with her, he won’t return if he’s no longer in love with you. It’s hard to accept but it’s true. If the two of them don’t work out, then he’s likely to move on to another woman in search of his happiness. 9 years is a long time to be with someone so my guess is the problems in the marriage chipped away at your relationship until the negatives outweighed the positives in his eyes and made him fall out of love. And once a guy isn’t in love anymore, it’s like they have reached a point of no return.
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