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My ex broke up with me about 2 weeks ago and we were together for 6 years (from 18-24). She told me she had lost feelings for about a year and tried to change how she felt but couldn’t, and then she cheated on me with a guy she met about a month ago. Since then she moved out as we were living together. She seems to think he is perfect for her and is definitely very infatuated. Initially she was sending me mixed messages, saying she didn’t know what she wanted or who, saying she wanted to go away, find herself, date around and then eventually date me and give us another try (she said this more than once on separate days). We were giving each other space and not talking constantly, but she invited me to spend Xmas day with her, and we hugged and shared a kiss, to which she said it made her feel confused being around me. I continued to give her space and we didn’t talk until she text me on the 5th telling me that she had moved on, she didn’t want to lead me on and that she didn’t want to be with me (now or in the future), that she didn’t see a future with me and that she’d thought about it over the past couple of days and decided we weren’t going to work romantically but kept asking to be my friend. In the text she finished it by saying how she won’t forget the memories we had together and she hopes I find somebody that is my everything and makes me happy. She said that in the matter of a few days she decided she no longer wanted to date around and be young and single, she wanted to get into a relationship with this new guy despite saying previous she wasn’t ready for that. She said it wasn’t to do with me, it was ‘what she wants out of life’, which she said she doesn’t know when I asked her. It’s all very confusing. The text seemed pretty clear but she seems to be changing her mind within a matter of a few days, one minute wanting to give it a go and the next being dead set on never dating me again. I feel like my head has been spun around in confusion. She has mostly been cold and emotionless with me since the break up, the only time she showed me any emotion is when I told her (in a conversation she wanted to have just after she broke up) how I felt about her, how much I loved her etc. in which she cried and said that’s all she has wanted to hear for the past year. I’m so confused. The text was pretty clear, but how can somebody decide that in a matter of a few days when she was telling me before that she wanted to date me? This new guy will be her 2nd proper relationship as I was her first and we spoke about a long future together, maybe she is enjoying the newness of it as she said he provided her with the attention and romance I stopped providing her while I was grieving for my Mother. The text has crushed me and I can’t stop thinking about this not being a rebound, that this is something serious with the new guy as she seems to have mentally been out of the relationship for a year already. Of course I still have hope than in the future she might change her mind again, but until then I am trying to work on myself and work through it. I just dont know what to think. Although the text was clear, how can she be so clear in a couple of days? Shes been so confusing since we broke up. I just want another shot with her. I have hope that this will one day be possible, that she will one day change her mind again. Am I mad?
@A12345 No, you’re not mad, you’re just hurting and heartbroken. I will tell you that some people say things about breaking up although they’ve been thinking about it for a long time. They might even act normally or confused until they get up the courage to say it.. For now, there’s not much you can do while she’s with the other guy.
You were both very young when you got into a relationship. And not telling her you loved her during the past year is strange to me and I’m sure she was hurt by that.
Don’t give up all hope just yet, but don’t interfere with the budding romance with the other guy. If it’s not meant to be, it will burn out eventually and you need to be patient.
Try to get on with your life the best you can and don’t obsess about her!
Wishing you the best:)
@patricia12 thank you for your reply, and currently we haven’t spoken at all since that text on the 5th. I’m working on myself and working on moving forward: trying to view it as if she comes back then that’s a bonus.
I did tell her I loved her during the past year, though. I guess I just didnt shower her with constant emotions and compliments all at once, all the time, as I was dealing with a lot of grief over the past year…
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