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I see that this forum assist people that are going through a hard breakup. In my case, is the worst feeling I’ve ever have to encounter. Im 27 years old, (female) just recently graduated with my MPA and got a good job at an investment firm. My girlfriend, 22 years old, with a son. Our relationship had its up an down, but we were able to stay strong. We moved together to her apartment, never had intention to put it under my name- trusted her. I bought all of the furniture. Everytime we got into a fight she will say that I bought her with all of the furniture, etc. Well, 7 month after in the relationship, baby daddy came to the USA, and show to be desperate and obsessed with her. We have conversations numerous time and she told me that she had no feelings for him, that the relationship was over long time ago, and that he is to childish for her. She just wanted him close to be with the kid, who called me “mom” and basically we were a beautiful family. I took all responsibility of him financially and emotionally. She even did a tattoo with my name.
She had to put two domestic violence report and a restraining order against this guy. Lately, we were fighting too much, she felt that I didn’t like the kid but it was bothering me that father was only close to bother as he didn’t help that much financially and didn’t want to stay with him over the weekend. She felt that I was being too controlling of her life and decided to leave the apartment. Well, I found out that she said that although she was in a stable relationship I was too over controlling didn’t allow her to hang out with friends, I admit my fault there. The thing is that she never talked to me and told me what she felt.
She didn’t talk to me or whatsoever, she just left the house and didn’t even reply to my messages. I went crazy!! But a week and half after she left, she told me that she was back with baby daddy, so I stopped contacting her. I couldn’t believe it after all.. I acted like a kid and started posting pictures with a girl and my friends in our apartment doing karaoke, drinking, cooking for me, dancing with me. I assume it did bother her cuz the two weekend I posted pictures my ex contacted my friend threatening to take me to court to take me out of the apartment. So, she was doing the same; posting pictures on facebook with him, telling everyone how happy she is with him. Just recently I posted a music on my Instagram, and she completed the phrase in a picture ” that woman is happy”. So I know she was stalking me on social media, although she block me again on instagram.
So after she left, she didn’t want me to have her phone number. A week ago a friend of her contacted me asking if she received a letter as she expecting it. Than the following day she contacted me again asking if I knew her social media accounts, which I did not but offered to help and was able to retrieve her social media accounts. I let it clear to her friends that I will leave her keys so that she goes and pick up her stuffs. So this is the funny part, after using friends to contact me, she was the one who contacted me via whatsapp telling me to leave the stuff that belongs to her sister and son. My answer was very short “Okay, I’m only taking my stuff” and she replied okay and that whats it.
After a month and some weeks that she left our apartment I finally moved out on Sunday. I was getting over it but reality kick me on so hard. Yesterday, she sent me a message via whatsapp asking what time I’m leaving the apartment as she wants to get over it, another message saying I see that you are online please tell me what I need to do I want to get over this, than her last message was ” thank you very much” as she communicated with the baby sitter who told her that I left the keys with her. (Baby sitter was calling her the day before but she got in contact that day). Than she proceed to block me from Whatsapp. Its very obvious that she allowed me to have her number to finalize things with the apartment. But why her last message with the sarcastic “ty very much”?
What you guys think she might think/feel of me ignoring her and leaving the keys with the baby sitter? Even though I had her phone I just didn’t want to contact her. Just recently I found out that she was talking so many negatives things about me and saying that the girl I posted pictures with (who she assumes we have a relationship) don’t know what shes getting into. I def decided to stop posting things on social media that lead to the believe that is for her, I just want to disappear for a while.
Any advise? what you guys think of all this? any chances of reconciliation?I know that the main reason she left was because of my behavior, she felt she lost her own sense being with me and is holding on him to feel better and move on. I was so devastated, waiting for her to return, but days, and weeks passed, and now a month half passed and I put the furniture in a storage room until I know what to do with my life.
Well, tough story to hear.
I’ll go directly for your question: deep-down I believe we always know what’s going to happen. Like, by the way you told about the dad from the baby, you must have sensed on that time that reconciliation was a possibility, and you felt threatened and started to freak out controling, did not you? So, my advice would be to look deep inside and find out what you trully believe that will happen.
In my point of view, by the time it is already taking, I would tell you that I don’t see you both together in the near future. She did not give any elements that we might consider that she is rethinking it all.
Tough to hear, I know. However,I think we all here face the difficult of maybe never seeing our loved ones by our side again. So, from a man that suffered, to another: concentrate on you, let things happen. We don’t ever know how life may turn: maybe she will be back in a blink of an eye, maybe, on the following years, maybe you will find someone else that you will fall in love with.
My advise for now is to get used to the idea: I am doing the same.
Thank you for the post. Yes, you are right, my insecurity increased. I kind of feel that I pushed her to be with him, instead of giving her support I became obsessed with making him stop bothering us. I remember the first days she left she said to one of her friends that it was driving her crazy to get away from me, that her head hurt so much. I see that she recently posted a pictures of the coffee cup (minion) I gifted her the first time my family and I visited her apartment. She knows I have access to her account and still don’t even change the password, but when she was mad she did. I can’t stand how quickly she moved on, and forgot about me.
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