my "evil" plan….more like: what I did in NC and what I'll do to have him back

[a.z]

Don’t make him too jealous using his friend.but yes you can do it.be careful it doesn’t have to be too slight or too much.
If you can’t do that,use your phone.act like you are flirting with someone who is not in your city.or just act like you are calling someone/someone is calling you several times during the day.
Or just try to have fun with your other friends in your circle.talk to your ex,be nice to him but let him understand that he is not your center of attention anymore.
Think about it,its an important step.remember it doesn’t have to be too slight and it doesn’t have to be too much.

[Giulia]

yes that seems perfectly logical.

When we were still together, our friends (especially his best friend) used to make “dirty”-jokes about me or about us ( nothing offensive! just a bit embarrassing…they actually made me blush ahahah but they were funny).

The last time we hang out his best friend did it again, we were playing biliard and he joked about my…ability with the ..staff (if that’s the name ahah )and how I was good at …raise it ( I’m short ahhaha ).
I laughed on reflex, but I felt a bit …uhm I don’t know, I mean…that was a bit embarassing, but in some ways it felt for just a moment that everything was still the same.
That could mean that the atmosphere was good and relaxed right?

I should laugh at those jokes, but I used to respond to them sometimes,making them a bit more “scandalous”, but now….should I do it or it may seems that I’m sending signals to my ex…?

oh wow this question sound so stupid..ahahah I’m sorry

PS: I’ll try the thing with the phone,I’ll text some friends from uni asking for the upcoming exam so there’ll be a lot to discuss.

[a.z]

Yeah the atmosphere was good 😀
And when your friends are talking to you, joking,… be the way you were.It has nothing to do with your ex.
When your ex talks to you,be cool,happy… .talk to him,make jokes.. but let it look like someone else has become your center of attention.
I’m sure you can make it.

[Giulia]

Yeah!

ahahah I think I’m not gonna sleep tonight…I’m so pumped!

I think I’l kill myself in gym tomorrow and maybe some sunbathing too,I’m gonna look amazing, like : AH! in your face dude, look at all of this! BAM.

ahahahahahah thanks a.z, always a pleasure reading your comments

[a.z]

Your more than welcome Giulia 😀
LOL,go for it.i’m sure you will look amazing.
I love your attitude.keep up the good job 🙂

[Giulia]

The night is going great! More details later. I want to ask if I should send something to him after tonight and what to send, maybe something great or that make an impact

[a.z]

I was just thinking about you :O :O
Yeah you can text him tomorrow.say you had a great time and mention something really funny that happened during the night and say that you should do that again later :D.

Update me 😀 be confident and i know you look amazing.

Best of Luck

[sunshinegirl]

Glad it was great Giulia! Happy for you!

[Giulia]

….
Guys….I think I fucked up…or not I don’t know what happened.

So the night went great! I arrived at my friend’s house at 6:30p.m we all chatted and had fun, we girls helped with making the meat ready for the barbecue ecc ecc.
We had dinner and we laughed and had fun, everything was like it was in the past except that I couldn’t touch,kiss or hug him, but we had a great time.

After dinner wich ended at 10p.m I think, after we cleaned up, we decided to go to a party near my home. But three of our friends went home, so we were just me,him and the house owner and his girlfriend. Even if the party was near my house they went on one car and my ex went in mine.

We stayed there since 3 a.m and then we decided to came back to the house (wich is like 30 min away from mine and my ex) to continue to “party”.

But there was a problem : me

Since the house if far and we did a lot of road and since we wanted to still have fun and drink, if I was going I needed to stay there the night…and so my ex.

My friend asked if there were problems, we said no since he had a 3 more beds.
He put us in the same room which had 2 separate beds.

At about 5a.m we went to sleep, after saying goodnight to them, me and my ex went to bed.

I didn’t bring any clothes because I didn’t knew that I had to stay overnight, so I kept on only my t-shirt, no pants.
I didn’t try anything, I just went under the covers.

and this is where it gets strange.

The bed weren’t miles away….maybe 20cm or less.
He came closer to me from his bed, maybe he put an arm around my waist don0t remember because I was shocked.
I think he said :

-do you want to sleep together? and doing nothing else

(now in italian It doesn’t mean to have sex, but just to sleep )

I was so shocked that the only answer I gave him was after a moment of silence:

-…are you sure?

I think he looked at me more intensly and said:
-yes

So he came closer and slided in my bed. At the same time he lifted the covers and grabbed ,with his arm, my waist harder bringing me closer to him.
then he said:

– but I meant like this…

He started kissing me slowly and with so much lust and passion that I thought my heart would explode.

But I was so confused …I didn’t know what to think, I respond to the kiss,but I was esitant.
I started to think : I can’t believe it…what does this mean? …does he want me back?…

I wanted to burst with happiness, but there was something that held me back.

There was still the door open and the lights on, so I said to close the door and switch off the lights.
He slowed down and watched me and then I said to forget about the lights, that I wanted to see him.

He started to kiss me again but after a bit he stopped again, and watching me he said:
– you are taking this too seriously

I watched him and for what it seems years of silence watching eachother, I said :

-I don’t care

and then there was an explosion of passion and lust that we didn’t have in months before the break up.

The next morning we were the firsts to wake up, so we cleaned the mess we did during dinner the night before while the owner was sleeping.
We acted like nothing happened.
After a bit he stopped me very kindly and said :
-I want to maintain the things as they are now, this state of harmony that we have now. (He was talking about the friends and have fun things).

I expected that so I responded:
-…it was just sex [his name], I don’t have made strange ideas in my mind, don’t worry.
-I just don’t want you to feel bad or hurt about it
– I’m not really, don’t worry, everything is fine.

Then we went along with cleaning , while joking ecc.
After the others wake up,we made plan for the afternoon, but my ex needed to go home first…
He said that me and him where going to his home and then they’ll meet us there when they were ready.
So again he took me to his home with his motorbike,he took the longest route so he could show me how fast the motorbike was, that was so fun!.
He told me that he’ll take me on it again if I liked.

at his home we waited for them and he called the other friend who came back early the night before, we had something to eat and we played with the ps4 like in the past ,laughing and joking. The rest of the day we went to a near city (where he goes to study) he showed us his university and I asked questions and other things about it, that he talked me about when we were still together. He even said that he could show me around when the univeristy will reopen for the new semester.

As a group we talked,joked and had fun all day and I actually just came back at 9.15 p.m.

Now…..WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED!?? I didn’t expect it at all knowing him?….He doesn’t like to leading people and I’d never think that something like that would happen!
what? what? omg
He said that he was breaking up with me because he fall out of love and attraction!!!!
we didn’t have sex for weeks before the break up because he was tired and stressed, and then after almost 2 months of breakup…this?!.

What should I think? is this the hot and cold ?? becouse he is not cold, he’s friendly and nice.
like I said is almost as nothing happend and we’re still together like we was in happier times, except that we are not together and I can’t kiss him,hug him or hold his hands….

What happened? did I fucked up?….I didn’t initiate anything! he came to me…

what should I do? what should I do?…I don’t know how to feel about this.

I want to go back to be with him so bad, but I’m not sure what to think about what happened, but I want a new kind of relationship with him!!
Maybe he’s afraid that I’ll change back as I was before, and become needy and all.
I really want him to understand that I’m changed, and that we could have a great relationship if he only try.

what I did wrong????!!!

[Giulia]

I don’t plan to send him anything nor to call him tonight, and I think I’ll not do it even in the next days ….is it ok? or should I send him something? I’m not sure.

I don’t even feel ashamed about what happen…should I?

I’m sorry everyone…I’m a wreck of emotions right now

[a.z]

Hey,
Calm down,nothing horrible happened.sometimes having sex with an ex may make them remember the passion they once felt.but don’t do that again.you may get stuck as a casual sex partner.I suggest you to restart the relationship rewind process.
Its good that you acted like you were cool about it.

Text him and say that you had a really good time…. and then say that you don’t want things to be weird between you and you feel good being just friends.

You should meet him again and you should establish the falsefriendship again.
Then create some more scarcity on the second date.
And the third date should be the perfect date.

Wait 2,3 weeks between each dates.and you can contact him during this time.you should take it step by step so he can see the new you in a long period of time then he can convince himself that you have changed.

[Giulia]

Hi

yes I know, I don’t plan to do it again , and in my help comes the fact that I don’t think there’ll be other chance like that.

I was thinking about the text, should I send it now ( 10:46 pm here ) or wait tomorrow? we are tired, especially him, I don’t know if he’ll see the text.
What about something like this:

hey! I haven’t had such great time like I had yesterday in ages!
listen, I don’t want things to be weird between us, and I’m really glad that we can still be good friends and had fun.

Also I must say that ….it was very unlike him to do something like that, it really shocked me.

I’ll probably see him soon due to the fact that we go out as a group, is that ok even if is not 2/3 weeks between?….we’ll soon need to start studying and going to university so we’ll try to hang out more frequently before the end of september.
It doesn’t depend on me…I mean I was the one to say that it was ok to call me to hang out.

And…do you think that I should bring up the “night” again?…maybe asking why? or is it a bad idea? I want him to know that I’m really cool about it and that I enjoyed it, but everything was ok.

What is your opinion on his behavior that I described ?
about the night, the day after and the fact that he was the one suggesting things to do like visiting his uni, or going around in his bike

are this good signs …? Do I have chances to make him fall for me again?
I understand what I have to do but I want to understand what is thinking….is he confused? or he is trying to see if he can trust this new me?

[a.z]

He still has feelings for you and he is having a good time around you.he doesn’t want to lose you but he still needs something to convince himself to get back with you.and again it takes time but its really possible.

Its ok but you can make an excuse not to go out with them every time.but as long as you follow the plan,everything is fine.

Yeah,you can text him tomorrow and your text sample is good 😀 .but i don’t think if you should bring up the exact details of last night.just be cool and show that you are ok and you want to be friends…

[Giulia]

thank you, thank you thank you , you bring some peace to my poor mind right now.
I keep thinking about last night, at his touch and I feel so nostalgic,my heart hurts and I want to cry so bad, I try not to but my tears just come out on their own.

I really need to prove him, to make him believe that I’m like this now, I won’t change, I really want to fight it.
I even said to him in the morning ,after he said that we were going to his house:

-is it ok with you ?
he: yeah sure, if it ok with you I’m good
-it’s just that it’s like you are walking on eggshells around me
he: well I am, I don’t know what are you feeling
– everything is fine really, don’t worry ok?

I was never this open about talking of senstive things with him, sometimes I didn’t say about things that I didn’t like because I didn’t want to fight or he to be mad ecc
So I hope that the fact that now I’m the one who brings up these matters at hands is actually winning points in his mind. Is like I’m the one who is more confortable with this situation than him, at least I hope that this is the impression that I’m making

I’m really tired right now, physically and mentally,I need to rest hoping to not have any nightmare tonight.
I’ll see how I going to be tomorrow.

I hope that you (a.z) will keep to advise me and support me like you did since now. I really value what you write, thank you.
I’ll see tomorrow what a goodnight rest will do to my thoughts

[Giulia]

Ehy I plan to send the text, I wrote :

ehy, about friday ,I had so much fun! ahahah. I really happy that we can still be friend.

should I say something else?

what if he reply mentioning something from the “night” we had?
maybe if he try to make things clear, even if he already did in person? If he send something like :

-about last night…it was just sex, I don’t want you to have strange ideas

or if he say something like:
-I’m sorry for last night, it was a mistkes, I shouldn’t have done that

what’s the best respond to these?….I just need to prepare for all the scenarios

[Author]

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