My BreakUp Story and the start of my NC

[FishingTheSky]

Hey S.H.,
I totally know how you feel because I am in the same situation.
I am away from the city with friends, trying to distract but tonight I can’t stop thinking about her.
My life hasn’t stopped since she’s left me, I am pretty busy with work, gym, my friends.
I do feel a little better since I’ve started the no contact period, still it’s not enough.
I can tell you that even if our exes won’t come back to us, they will always remain in our heart, no matter what. There are simply those loves we can’t forget and it’s alright. Just be glad you have experienced such a strong sentiment, because believe me many don’t ever get to have that even.
I am grateful my ex’s path came across mine, I am a richer person inside anyway.
Be strong and think about the positive aspects if you can.

[S.H]

Hey Guys,
first, Hey FishingTheSky, Thanks for your input, I feel exactly how you feel and I will and trying to think about all the positive things I can about what I had with her and my life, especially my family members who have support me during this time.

So heres my update, I got back to US to “our” apartment and I saw she left quite a lot fo stuffs ( which is quite strange since she said she is completey moved out)

So I called her but she didnt pick up. So I text her saying: “Hey, I just called to asked about the apartment stuff. Get back to me when your free 🙂 Thanks!”

1 hour later she call me back(I let it rung a while before answering) After I said “halo” She said she that is busy and that we can only do this quick. From the background noise and her being out of breath I can hear that she is hiking/running or doing exercise outdoor with friend. (At one point during our conversation she said “theres a skunk!” like she talking to her friend…)

So we end up only talk for a bit. We only talk about stuffs related “our” apartment, since she is moving out. So I just wanna get those final bill utilities stuffs( plus why her stuffs still here) out of the way first because its important. But right after that, before I can even have a chance to ask her hows she doing…she say she really gtg. But she does say that I can call or text her if I need any other help from her or she can call me about it.

Also during the conversation I was not being needy and making some jokes with her. She was laughing but I dont know if she was trying to test me by acting tough too or she laughing with her friend…

From the conversation, she sound friendly but like a stranger kind of way. To be honest after the phone call I felt like crying because I cant even sense that we sound like we’ve ever dated at all…… ( I dont know how people should act after a break up, since this is my first.. but its so painful for me to think that a person i love so much now treats me like a stranger….)

We will meet up for sure because we still have to exchange stuffs like her deposit and what not..but she didn’t tell me when she’ll be back…

What should I do now?….. If thats even a question I should be asking now…:(

[Mister Handy]

The only thing we can do now S.H! Wait and become the best people we can be! 🙂

Remember we will improve as people because we want to be better and not just because we want our ex.

We will not give up, but the time needs to act a little …

Good luck and stay strong

[FishingTheSky]

Hey S.H.,
I must tell you that at least you get to talk to your ex, I couldn’t even have that chance if I wanted now lol.
Anyway, her behavior is perfectly normal, because remember you two are not together and she can’t treat you like a boyfriend anymore. I know it’s a strange feeling, rather depressing, but it is what it is now, you can only hope that in time it will change eventually.
I suggest you to be cool about it, keep your composure when you see her, that’s the only thing you can do.

Be strong buddy

[S.H]

Hey MisterHandy and FishingTheSky,

Thank for your replies. Reading your words makes me feel better. I know improving myself and hopefully getting my ex back is a difficult process.

I guess as much as I want to be or think that I am strong enough for it, it is still pretty hard(almost depressing) when I’m actually talking to her again and trying to get her attraction back…

I will be more stronger and much more prepare! I’ll do my best!

Thanks again for replying guys! I really appreciate all the help and support

[FishingTheSky]

Hey S.H,
No problem man, we are all on the same boat, trying to find land finally.
It’s comforting to talk about with other people in the same situation, it makes you feel you are not the only crazy dude banging his head against the wall because of his ex, just kidding.

You need to gather all the possible strength in yourself to overcome these terrible moments. I had a rough day yesterday myself, I can’t even look by accident at my ex’s picture because my heart starts to bleed like a siege.

We need to stay cool, our faith and persistence will be worth all the time we’ve suffered.

[Mister Handy]

Hey Guys, how are you doing?

As FishingTheSky said, we are all in the same boat here! It’s really good to help others and hear their stories at that time!

I feel I am here starting to improve one of my problems pointed out by my ex. Listening to the problems of other people, help them, and empathize with the situation.

I deleted the contact photo of my ex … All time I saw her picture, made me very bad. I began to think that I’m not in a relationship with her and if one day come back, we will have much time to take more pictures.

Try not to get attached to these things of our recent past.

Be strong S.H …

[S.H]

Hey FishingTheSky and MisterHandy,

Thanks again for your words. It is really comforting to be able to talk to people about my situation here, and I dont feel so alone and hopeless.

Since I am back to what use to be “our” apartment…I’m away from family too…I have been having a harder time than I thought. Once being back in the apartment, it felt nothing like it use to…it felt empty and sad without her…this place have too many of our memories. I will be moving to a new place in 10 days too, Im hoping being in a new place will make me feel better and dont have to constantly being remind of her in this old apartment. (get detach from this place and its memories)

I know I gotta be strong! Im trying so hard…but GOD.. my heart hurts so bad these days! 🙁

I think what is the hardest part for me is that I know that even if I can never be with her again…she will always be in my heart. I dont regret us being together and I never will. Shes will always be that special to me…which is why I really want to get her back if I have a chance if god forbids. But I feel that deep down in my heart I’ll never stop loving her, she made me a better person and even made me realise how to really love someone feels like.

Which is why I can’t say I am 100% sure I can totally move on from her which may be a stupid thing to say/think since I have put in so much work during no contact and other self improving classes….but thats why my heart tells me 🙁

[FishingTheSky]

Hey S.H.
unfortunately we are too many here with the same stories! But yes it’s relieving not to feel alone.

Perfect timing to move to another place, I can imagine how hard it is to be surrounded by constant reminders of your relationship and her. It does hurt like a mofo now but it will get better.

Yesterday a good friend of mine said, after hearing all the talk about what I’m going through now, “God, I didn’t think a man could frankly love a girl this much”. It’s time they give us men credit too, because we are actually capable of feeling and suffering for love with the same intensity as women do.

So we are on the same lenghtwave S.H., about love and about what it represents for us.
No matter what happens between me and my ex, I will always love her, probably unconditionally for the rest of my day, I’ve already told her so.
I don’t say this with a heart full of sadness, I am rather proud and lucky we have been together.
You will move on eventually S.H., keep up with your progress. I am sure you will find someone else along the way if she doesn’t come back, because you can be happy again.

[S.H]

Hey FishingTheSky,

thanks for replying, your words really makes me feel better and reminded me to keep going.

I am sad that me and my ex are not together..but what makes me sad even more is the realisation of my behaviour( my wrong doing) when we are together. I always though I was doing great but now that the relationship ended that i can really see how much better and more i could have done.

I really love her and I really want be with her again because I know at least now I am and will be a better guy for her. But if she refuse, although I will be sad on the fact that sometimes its just too late to turn back. But I will always cherish the moments we have together and wish her all the best. She changed my life for the better forever!

She will always be in special place in my heart and I will always be thankful for her whether she is with me or not. If shes with me thats great, because I can give her all the love she deserve and all the love I can give. But if shes not with me. Im thankful for her because of all the love I am able to give to my other half someday.

Like you said I know I will be happy again someday, but she will add to my happiness. So I wont stop fighting for her until I know its time to let go…

I pray for our happy endings that we seek, no matter what it will be!

[S.H]

Hey guys quick update,
So today I went on the hiking place where she took me to when we started dating. There is one huge rock there and I took a picture of it(the rock is unique and its one of the small iconic place in the hiking place so Im sure she remember it), I later send her a text saying: “Guess where I’m at! I remember how long it took us to get here. It was a tiring day but its worth it once we got to your “secret place” ? We should come here together again someday.”

So its been a day and she hasnt reply to me. What should I do? I didnt chose to call her because she didnt pick up last time. It feels like she not ready to talk to me, but I thought she may be open to text…especially since its a memory text.

Cant help but feeling depress…but I didnt just sit around all day. Today has been productive for me! But still it just stinks that she wont reply 🙁

Its been more than a month and a half since we BU. And we started talking, but it feels like she still has he walls up when I try to talk something rather than the topic on the apartment….

Any ideas what should I do?

[Author]

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