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Hello,
I have been in no contact for 3 weeks now. I last spoke to my ex 3 weeks ago and he said ‘perhaps we should talk when you come back home for Christmas?’. It has now been 3 weeks and I am going home tomorrow.
I haven’t heard from him in 3 weeks since that conversation, during which it was him who asked when I was coming back for Christmas, told me he missed me, missed the feel of my skin and my smell. He said at the end of the conversation ‘I’m falling asleep right now, I wish it was on you’.
My plan is to not send him a message tomorrow telling him I am home now and waiting for him to reach out instead. My only problem with this is that he may have forgotten (doesn’t have too good a memory).
How come after the conversation we had 3 weeks ago he hasn’t said a word since? I would like to know anyone’s thoughts on this.
If he is on your social media then you can always drop a hint over there.
Or just a plain simple text mentioning how you remembered him when you passed a certain place (in your hometown) so he would know you’re there. And then add a line saying hope you’ve wonderful holidays.It is really hard to tell why would that be the case but if I have to make an educated guess based on all the information shared here it could either be that he has thought that you’ve given up on him or it is his ego which is stopping him from contacting you.
Again, I dont know if anything else has happened in his life, like may be someone is seriously ill or his workload has increased due to holiday season, etc
That being said, there is not point speculating about it and building up things in your head. Lets try to keep it simple and text him once you reach. If you guys shared good chemistry then 3 weeks is not enough time for anyone to move on. So please try to remain positive 🙂
Ok, so I sent him a text saying ‘I will be back by 1 pm tomorrow’
I asked him if he still wanted to meet up and he said ‘yes, I think so’
I asked ‘what did you want to do/talk about?’
He said ‘I’m not sure, I just want to know if you’re doing alright’
I asked ‘do you regret anything?’
He replied ‘I do miss you still’
He said he wants to meet tomorrow at 16:00 at the town centre for a coffee.
What do I do?! Should I go?
If you have other plans then stick to them else no harm in going to meet him. Try to keep the emotional discussions to a minimum if you want to re-ignite anything positive. You want to be in a state of mind where both realize how much you guys love each other, are willing to make changes and accommodate each other!
Take this as one of the many meetings/ conversations/ chats that you might have with him IF (BIG IF) you can take it nice, polite and slow (meaning without too much emotional backlog).
Now it is upto you to decide if you are capable to handling the flow of the conversation and cut it off if it goes out of control. Else be prepared for further miscommunication and resulting distance. Think long n hard on this since you’re going to be staying there a few days. Do you want to use those days wisely or just want to blow it up in one day.
Good luck!
Is he just giving me breadcrumbs though? When he said ‘I’m not sure, I just want to know you’re doing alright’, how does that at all hint at reconciliation? So confused as his words and actions don’t add up…he was being so nice and romantic 3 weeks ago but now appears to only want to meet up because he misses me and no other reason…?!
Why does he want to meet up if he misses me? Surely if you missed someone you wouldn’t have a reason to see them necessarily unless there was some other purpose.
When I asked if he regretted anything, he just avoided the question and said ‘I miss you still’. What does that mean?
Its been 3 weeks without communication so please try and understand that both of you’re not aware what all changes (mental, emotional, physical) the other person has gone through. There could be a thousand reasons behind that kind of a reply but do you really wanna lose sleep over it or do you wanna prepare your best, positive self to be present when you meet him?
Even if he is giving you ‘breadcrumbs’ lets get one thing very clear that he is still not over you and some times people react that way cos either they feel they have been wronged or they have a big ego. You know him better.
Either ways, you have the opportunity to show and prove him that you’ve been improving and it is his loss if he still doesnt want to give it a chance. Hold your head high cos you let your ego aside and contacted him. You have taken the first step, now lets focus on the second step and remember all the good things about yourself and the relation and beam with confidence when you meet him 🙂
Try not to ask questions like is he seeing anyone etc cos it MIGHT show a needy/ obsessive behavior. It might be very tempting but if he doesnt hint to it himself then dont even ask about it. If he asks you something on those lines to you then avoid answering it. Just tell him you guys are meeting after a long time and lets try to keep it light hearted.
Remember, if you dont control the flow properly there is a chance of miscommunication again and you’ve already seen what it has done to your relation.
Is there any hope for my situation?
I don’t understand how him saying ‘I just want to know if you’re alright’ warrants a meet up from his perspective. Surely if that was all he wanted he could just ask me that on the phone without meeting up. Is it an excuse?
You’re again overthinking. Please relax. Been a long time of NC so try not to jump to conclusions and just try and see if you can meet him. If he ends up giving a direct excuse then dont bother asking again. Sometimes the ego takes time to get punctured.
It was a successful meet up. He was gazing into my eyes the whole time, grinning a lot, acting very friendly, and flirting a bit. He was looking at my lips as though he wanted to kiss me. He asked me a lot about what was going on in my life. He said I looked great and that it felt good to see me. I told him about plans I had to go on holiday next summer to a destination we had always talked about going to together.
He said he wanted to drive me home at the end of the meet-up (as opposed to me asking my Mum to give me a lift home). He said ‘I would like to do that for you’.
Once we pulled up outside my house, both of us sat there and stared into each other’s eyes. He said he missed me. He asked me if he could have a hug. He leaned in for a kiss and we began making out. He then pulled me towards him and onto his lap. We hugged and kissed, and he said he felt high.
He said ‘I’m glad to know you’re doing ok. It seems a lot of positive changes have been made’. I told him I had a really good time and left.
At no point did we discuss the break-up and he never said anything about meeting again. What’s going on?
He misses your physical presence. A serious piece of advice if I have to give here at the cost of sounding a party spoiler then it is this:
– Try NOT to get physical anymore cos the real issues which lead to break up will get masked
– After your holidays you’ll again get back to your work and he too
– When the issue resurfaces (or a remotely similar situation) he’ll act the EXACT same way or may be worse and distance himself cos he knows that him distancing himself works on you and you end up coming back.Am not trying to make you play any mental games with him. But if you have tried your best to bring some positive changes in your life then dont you think there was a reason you did that? Lets first discuss with him if he has also had the time to think over the break up and has anything to say about it. I can understand that both of you must be feeling high and wouldnt want to discuss break up and remain under the illusion that all will be fine soon.
You guys will be back but if not dealt with this issue then it is just a temporary thing. If you think you’re willing to risk that then good luck to you!
Lets try to make the most of 2016 and enter 2017 on a positive note and not a blind note.
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