Boards › Reconciliation › met up with my ex, what do i do now??
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April 8, 2015 at 5:48 am #40436
@Thargus yeah I did think that for a little while. And he did say he couldn’t give a definitive answer as to whether he would change his mind or not, but I hadn’t actually asked him or ever mentioned us getting back at all. He also says he is unable to meet me, his words are “he can’t just yet” which again makes me think feelings are involved. But I promised myself after how he made me feel last time I spoke to him that I wouldn’t contact him again. It’s up to him, I’m getting on with my life and enjoying it (I still miss him obviously) but if he wanted to talk to me or see me then he would. So trying not to think about it lol.
It’s really hard to not over think. I do it all the time! but just be pleased with what you have at the moment, you have made progress and each step is a little bit closer to getting what you want. You aren’t pushing her, or rushing her, and SHE is now making the decisions to see you and ask to see you, that’s the ultimate goal.
April 8, 2015 at 6:57 am #40446Good morning Thargus and KD! I’m feeling better about what happened yesterday. I don’t think after everything that he won’t want to be withh me because of that. Its just that ignoring him (my ex) on week and then his friend the next it doesnt help at all with any of the situations just makes each other worse but well its done now. I dreamt about him. We were hanging out with other friends. And there was this part we were laying in nature and petting each other (can you use that word for people? xD english is missing a lot of words when it comes to things like this!)
Thargus you are on a good pat π only two days for you t be with her! Take it easy as I think she is still very afraid
KD we got to be patient… Im so afraid he wont want to be with me. I even saw he is going on a concert this weekend and im all like with whom -.- but really they saif they want to be with us we got to be happy, dont screw up on the meantime (which i already did lol) and thats it :/
BTW he just commented on a pic from the day we spoke on the phone thanking them for helping him. He was with them when talking to me and well yeah. I am glad they probably told him to give me the benefit of the doubt since he did say we would go on the ride
April 8, 2015 at 7:01 am #40448Hey kaila.
I wouldn’t worry about ignoring his friend. His friend didn’t come over to you either so you haven’t done anything wrong.I’ve accepted life without him, I just don’t like it haha
April 8, 2015 at 8:27 am #40456Well but I was the one to look elsewhere instead of looking at him. He passed by two meters from him we were in front of each other almost
April 10, 2015 at 1:24 am #40702Hey guys-sorry I’ve been a bit late on here! I’ll read all your posts in the next hour or so π
I had a terrible Easter weekend π after mustering up the courage to text my ex “happy Easter! Etc” after 8 weeks…I get a text from a friend saying he’s chAttinf to loads of girls on tinder, and when I come up in conversation he completely blanks anything to do with me.
I also got told about him having a house party AGAIN this weekend, and what makes Me really upset is that one of the reasons he said he couldn’t be with me anymore is because he was too tired, didn’t have enough time for me at the weekends etc…I feel like I’m back to stage 1-Its really, really hurt me that he’s doing this and after 5 weeks of not crying its started again! π mum thinks he’s trying to prove a point that he does have friends/a life without me and that tinder/his jacuzzi parties every weekend just show how lonely he probably is now, even if he doesn’t realise it yet.
I don’t mnow…whats everyone’s elses opinions? Be honest please haha
April 10, 2015 at 2:19 am #40705Morning @Amy111 I agree with your mum actually. He is trying to keep himself busy to distract himself from thinking about you, my ex is doing exactly the same thing as when we were together he never did anything and I had to encourage him to go and see his friends and family when I was busy!
The fact that he gives a blank expression if your name is mentioned I think is due to the fact that he finds it hard to talk about you, meaning there are still feelings there.
I know it’s hard but try not to go backwards again π Easier said than done I know!April 10, 2015 at 4:32 am #40719I would also agree with your mum and KD1988. It very much seems that way. There is a reason he is doing so otherwise he wouldn’t do it. Seems like he’s trying to make it obvious to you also. That in itself is a big sign of loneliness. Just remember whatever happens YOU will be okay. Tinder is just nit serious anyway. He’s messing around on that and trying to find distractions. There is some positivity here @amy111 π keep yourself aware of that!
I saw my ex finishing off in the gym again the other day, so when I noticed her we talked for a bit. Just general chat and she told me she had quit her job at that awful place after that conversation we had on the phone. So I brought up the coffee, I said are we still on and what is the arrangement because I was supposed to pick her up from work. She said she is going to text me today when she wakes up/ready to go and we can have that coffee. Later that night, (btw it was her sisters birthday this day) I had a text from her sister asking if I want to go for a meal to celebrate. So we did! I turned up at her house and her sister was late, so it was just me and my ex sat in the living room for 15 minutes, it was a tiny bit awkward because she seemed quite off or annoyed for some reason. When they got back we went straight for food and had a nice night out. It was fun, I sat next to her on a rounded table and it wasn’t awkward at all. The night was nice. Lots of laughs, she showed me photos of when she went to this zoo a few days ago with her friends. When I dropped them all off home she took the time to say goodbye and drive safe etc. But the thing is I just have this uneasy feeling its not going to be a good outcome from todays coffee. I WANT it to be a good one, ao I can prove that we do deserve to be together.. But I just have this off feeling. Maybe its just my nerves. I hope.
April 10, 2015 at 4:33 am #40721Yeah it sucks so bad π I saw his sister again last week and she said about how good he is, and I mentioned the tinder thing to her (she told him that i knew he had it) and apparently he was like “oh er yeah i dont even know why ive got it i dont even like the girls on it…” so that kind of made me think he’s distracting himself!
when he was with me he also cut out spirits because he said drinking them made him into someone he didnt like…so now that hes drinking/having all these jacuzzi parties every weekend it makes me think that he is distracting himself from it all and making his life “full” if that makes sense?! or maybe im just making things up to make me feel better….i dont know. it just seems wierd that he would go from not liking going out, to suddenly this mad party animal every weekend. it makes me really sad π but at least I feel like I have the higher ground if that makes sense…i odnt know :/ haha!
KD1988 I just read one of your most recent posts and feel in the same position! the fact he said what he said sounds like he definately has feelings for you still..i guess its just the waiting game now π but at least you know he still cares! π
thargus -it sounds like everything is going really well for you! try not to panic and overthink it, youre in a really good spot where she’s initiating stuff – im so happy for you!
Kaila – I think its good that hes talking to you again! just be careful not to fall straight back into little signs he might be giving, remember to make yourself attractive and unavailable, and that even without him you can still have fun π
sorry ive been really bad about reading all these the past few days, think this thing has set me back a bit and i went into a bit of a mopey hole π haha!
April 10, 2015 at 4:59 am #40726@amy111 we all go into mopey holes. Thats okay, just don’t stay in there! π I’m a big bag of nerves myself at the moment waiting for this text from her. I just don’t want to hear the words “its better we stay friends”..
April 10, 2015 at 7:14 am #40739She still hasn’t text yet saying when she wants to go.. I cant help but feel she wants to avoid this damnit. I cant text her to ask because it will seem like I’m the one going on about it all the time since I had to bring it up last time
April 10, 2015 at 9:11 am #40770Good luck thargus I’m sure it will be great! Let us mnow how it goes!
Yea! I’m not going to mope. I told my best friends about it so we’re going out tomorrow night and have said we’ll take lots of photos and make him realise I’m not at home being mopey :p he can have his jacuzzi parties haha! He’ll miss me one day :p
April 10, 2015 at 9:33 am #40780@amy111 that is one hell of a tactic haha! brilliant. and i still haven’t even been.. im still waiting for her text and its now 3:30pm.. im starting to doubt any of this now and im just really in the dumps. i feel as though she is not really making any effort or it is the fact she doesn’t want to hurt me again, so shes proloning it. i really cannot help but think that reason
April 10, 2015 at 9:39 am #40783i have thought about a plan B sort of thing though @amy111, if she doesn’t text today and we don’t go, ill probably just write a letter saying everything i wanted to say and send it to her. its gone on long enough and is just making me feel worse π its just how i feel today!
April 10, 2015 at 3:36 pm #40878Thargus any news?
April 10, 2015 at 4:31 pm #40887she didnt text.. im going to text her tomorrow evening/sunday about it, just casually, i feel like rubbish
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