Boards › Reconciliation › Meeting up with his mum..
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April 19, 2015 at 4:07 pm #42302
Ummm… I think I would say just leave it… I mean it’s already going to be in his head that he was supposed to be there with you, not this friend… Why not keep quiet and let him think that you’re not thinking about it? Know what I mean? π
April 19, 2015 at 4:10 pm #42303@pineappleblue hey π I still think it’s a good thing you went on the date! Even though you feel the way you do! I think sometimes you have to do the date to realise you’re not ready if you get me.
In regards to texting him, it’s completely up to you, I don’t think it would do any harm, but depends what it would do to you xApril 19, 2015 at 4:53 pm #42311@kd1988 I completely get you! I think a lot of my moving on has been a front, even to myself.. And this has shown it! I just feel empty again..
@annakis I guess so! I kinda want him to know I’m thinking of him, and I haven’t forgotten him.. But I don’t want him to think I’m bothering him for no reason..
Why is it so complicated with him? π why can’t he just be one way or the other.. I honestly thought after we went out for coffee things were looking up πApril 20, 2015 at 2:15 am #42349@pineappleblue I know exactly what you mean about the front. I feel I have done the same as well. It suddenly hits you! Try to stay strong though, you’ve done so well x
April 20, 2015 at 10:03 am #42386Yeah I know what you mean about this front too… It’s easy to stop thinking about things and tell myself for a while that I’ve moved on and I’m fine about things etc etc etc… Because I don’t think I could get out of bed in the morning if I didn’t kinda push my emotions about my ex and our breakup aside every so often, but I guess we have to face how we feel eventually huh?
But the thing is this is all a part of the process… And we are all doing well and we are all making progress. I do feel though that it’s a long process though… But we’re all making little steps towards a point where we don’t have to pretend anymore!
April 20, 2015 at 10:08 am #42388@annakis I agree with you completely. I do think we take little steps forwards and little steps backwards, but more forward than back. I think this front that we put on, is not always a front. I know for me that some days I do genuinely feel that way, and it isn’t a front, and then I have other days where I feel the complete opposite!
I’m having one of the bad days today, where I am frustrated, upset, hurt, angry, extremely fed up and in all honesty I am driving myself insane. I don’t even want to listen to myself, let alone other people wanting to listen to me! I just accept that days like today happen, and hope that tomorrow I wake up with a new perspective. Trying to take it one day at a time.
April 20, 2015 at 10:16 am #42391Yeah I’m not having a great day myself… Just really frustrated that the changes I’m trying to make to become a better person aren’t happening as fast as I would like! But hey, no one ever said that changing yourself was easy!
April 20, 2015 at 10:23 am #42392I once heard a quote “nothing worth having is easy. If it’s easy, it’s not worth having”.
I’m ok with the changes on myself. I’m not ok with the lack of progress I appear to be making with my ex. It’s stalled completely. I actually feel today like that it’s now. I’m stuck in limbo, I can’t move forward but I can’t stay where I am either! Very frustrating.April 20, 2015 at 10:29 am #42393Yeah I know that feeling too… Any attempt to talk to my ex seems to be met by a stone wall heh. It doesn’t seem like forward progress is even possible at the moment…
Well see the main thing I’m trying to work on is my confidence, and I’m a very quiet sort of person. I’m not the loud aggressive type at all. I think it’s gonna take a long time for me haha!
April 20, 2015 at 10:30 am #42394Yeah that does take time, sadly not an overnight thing, but it can be worked on every day π I’m not the loud aggressive type either! Lol.
April 20, 2015 at 10:54 am #42398I think my problem is I don’t have a lot of confidence in myself, you know? I think that’s what makes me shy and quiet heh.
Oh well, it’s like you said, it’s something I need to work on and unless I move into a cave in the mountains and never see ANYONE I have plenty of opportunities to work on it π
April 20, 2015 at 11:06 am #42403Confidence can definitely be worked on, mostly because it’s driven by you! π it’s hard to believe in yourself but when you do everything feels better! I have good days and bad days when it comes to this.. Funnily enough I’m actually more confident since I split with my ex, I don’t know if it’s because I was constantly seeking his affection and now he’s not here to give it Iv learnt to live without it or what.. With the things he said about attraction you’d think I feel ugly and horrible, but I haven’t felt like that at all! I wish he could see that though because one of the things that used to drive him mad was my lack of confidence and belief in myself, go figure!
I do feel like that’s it now and I’ll never hear from him and it’s breaking my heart all over again.. I thought I didn’t care anymore but I do! So so much! Bad days all round then!April 20, 2015 at 11:18 am #42405@pineappleblue Yeah, it’s something that used to bug my ex about me too… And actually I did feel more confident when I was with my ex, at least when things were good. I think that was simply because I felt like even if I did put myself out there and things went wrong that I always had that support from her, you know? Just now with the way she treated me towards the end and then the breakup I kinda feel like I’ve gone back a few steps confidence wise…
But hey, I do have really good days where I feel like I’m doing just fine and I feel good about myself etc etc… I certainly don’t feel I need her or anyone really to be confident in myself, but that support is nice, you know? Either way it’ll work out π
April 21, 2015 at 8:03 am #42527Oh guys I am not having a good time lately π
I feel like I’ve done a turnaround on how I was feeling, and I have just completely sunk again. I keep having these dreams where my ex is telling me to move on and that he’s with someone else and that he doesn’t want me. I know it is just a dream, but it really affects me!
There are no signs he is coming back, or is even thinking about coming back. And I’m just tired, emotionally and physically drained. Sick of missing him, sick of wanting him back, sick of thinking about him, I am driving myself mad with it. But I don’t know how to get out of it! I keep myself sooo busy all the time, I barely have a minute to myself lol. Nothing is working!!! π
April 21, 2015 at 10:59 am #42546@KD1988 Aw I’m sorry, that really sucks π Keeping yourself busy definitely helps but I don’t think you can distract yourself forever, I guess we have to deal with what’s going on eventually… It’s the mornings that get me, I wake up and I just start thinking about things and arrrrgh…
The dreams don’t help! I keep having dreams where I get everything I want back, then all of a sudden she turns around and says “Actually, I don’t love you.” Or something like that.
I think we need to accept the possibility that we might not get what we want… I think it’ll get easier once we do that. It doesn’t mean we’re giving up though! π
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