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There is a very very very good chance she still has the same feelings for you. Especially since you have been in contact so much after the initial break up.
I am telling you, especially after her saying she wasn’t really into him, this is just a rebound relationship for her to cope with the pain.The most attractive version of yourself you can possibly be right now is someone who is strong and okay. Hold your ground.
I know how incredibly hard it is because I am going through the same thing right now. No contact is scary because you truly don’t know what the other person is thinking or if they will ever contact you and love you again.
But this seriously is for your best interest and her best interest. Nobody finds the weak, clingy, helpless version of you attractive. I have to keep that in the back of my brain.
stay strong.
Thank you so much. It’s nice to have a woman’s input. All my friends are men and all I can get is “fuck that bitch move on, she put you through so much shit” “she’s crazy you’re better off without her.” That may be true, and they are probably right. I just hope this last time I saw her, I didn’t push her away because we were both acting fucked up and she told me its best I don’t see her again, that’s why I’m confused why she contacted me. I’m scared I won’t see her ever again. And as I was typing my last post I was driving down the road and I saw her car driving by and it was fucking her getting off work. It was totally unintentional and I’m just like why.
It’s just all this confusing feelings that come and go that really mess with me. I hope I’m not being annoying. I just really needed to vent.
Oh my b, I’m not sure if you’re male or female. I thought I was talking to someone else that had previous commented who was female. I didn’t look at the name. My apologies.
I am a female you are correct. And youre welcome.
I know how hard it is it serious is destroying me as well with my boyfriend (see my post if you want my story)
But seriously just relax. These thoughts cannot consume you or you will get worse and so will your chances of getting her back.
No talking to her!
I read your story, and I’m sorry you’re going through that. I hope everything runs smoothly for you because believe me, I feel your pain. Your situation may be different but the pain is the same. And my bad habits are part of what pushed her away. I didn’t really have a problem with drinking until about a month after she left me, but then I was out of control and made a lot of life altering decisions and that spanned into the time I was seeing her again as well. But I’ve got a grip on that now. I’ve had a problem with smoking weed for about a year and a half now and still do. I just feel so depressed all the time, and I think that’s part of the reason she went away is because she was already so sad and bipolar/depressed and I was really sad all the time. But I’m trying to fight it but depression always feels like I’m fighting a losing battle. I’m not interested in any of the things I used to be. I’m even getting a car finally after conquering my fear of driving as something positive for myself but it isn’t really even making me as excited as it should. I even got a job offer so I could leave my shitty job, but I’m too scared to call everytime. Her indecisiveness and mixed signals/mood swings are hard for me to comprehend even though I am the same way but less severe. Sometimes I feel like I’m delusional for ever thinking I could win her back. I still talk about her, it’s like I’m convincing myself she still exists so I don’t forget her. This is a weird feeling I’ve never quite felt before in my life.
But is it really a rebound if she already had a rebound? When I talked to her before she said she really like him and can’t fuck that up by seeing me and it’s unfair to him for her to fuck around with me. And then she said a week or so later that he likes her but she doesn’t really care and that she doesn’t feel anything for people anymore. But it fucks me up because now they’re dating and all I can do is feel like shit and try to ignore it. I just don’t understand. If she doesn’t like him then why are they together now? This is all fucked and I feel like it’s pointless but I’m still in love with her. I feel so foolish, I hope it passes.
Hey! Sorry for the late reply I read the update. That’s totally expected and don’t worry. You just need to quit contact with her. She just still seems confused and she might be using him to fill that whole of having no one right now. Her texting you shows she still cares. Just don’t message her anymore until the end of the NC. Or until you feel it’s the right time like if you need to wait longer.
I know it hurts and I feel your pain. She does not seem stable honestly. Seems like she’s just trying to make you jealous by posting something so early. Just deactivate again if you need to so you don’t have to keep facing this. Trust me it helps a lot. When you stay distant she will become more extracted to you as crazy as this sounds. Stay away for now.
Go on dates if you can try okcupid it’s like one of the best apps to make you feel confident by meeting new people and during that time she might come around again. It will definitely take your mind off of her in the meantime. Especially meeting new fresh people. I’m not saying find your new gf there just explore around 🙂
When you feel you are ready and still have interest in your ex, contact her but don’t say too much.Thank you both for putting my mind at ease. I’ve been just picking up more hours to keep myself occupied, it’s still at the back my head but I’ve been trying really hard. I know I said I got my license, but I already got a car yesterday. This is a very positive thing for me because I was so anxious about even driving but I’ve overcome that. So I’m making baby steps to better myself. I’m saving up money and such as well. It’ll make the NC go by a lot faster because I’ll be so busy I won’t even be able to think about it.
I’m also glad I took bout of your advice of maintaining NC because I almost gave in, I’m glad I didn’t budge so easy and maybe it is best I deactivate my Facebook again.
That’s great! I’m glad you are keeping yourself busy. Whenever you are ready, you can activate it again and she will see how much you changed by getting a new car and seeing how happy you are right now. TRUST ME being a girl, I know she will look through your Facebook. When she notices you aren’t bothered anymore by the situation she might become attracted again. Even if you go on dates or going out with friends, post it on there! Show you are having a good time.
I don’t know, don’t take this the wrong way but women are so unpredictable. So you saying that gives me a little peace of mind, honestly. She’s so hard to read and you never know how she’s going to react to something, that’s what I love and hate about her. I’m just gonna continue to keep myself busy and just try to be positive about the outcome even though it’s really difficult now.
But she obviously takes notice to my Facebook outcome and came in contact immediately after I reactived. But I’m not sure that’ll happen a second time. She doesn’t like to be lonely so I hope you’re right about just filling the hole. What we had was really special and I don’t think I’ve ever felt a bond quite like it before. I just have to show her I’m not the same guy anymore and I hope she’ll at least want to see me so I can attempt to win her love and affection back.
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