Marriage Limbo – When and how to reach out

[ally2019]

This is my story

My husband and I have only been married 12 months. We have children to previous partners and no children together. In our relationship we have had so many external factors impact us (court, exes, blending the family etc…) In December everything came to a head as it was all too much and we both weren’t in good headspaces because of everything… He moved out with the intention of staying with his parents for a bit to clear our heads… a month later he ended up cheating on me. He told me straight away and we began counseling. He has been very up and down, his parents home is a toxic environment and he is very easily manipulated by his parents.

I’ve now moved out of the house with my child and he is living full-time at his parents. The communication has all been me essentially, he does respond, we barely see each other and he says one thing but does the opposite.

I have asked him multiple times flat out does he want to break up? He can go be single and I’ll walk away. He says no he wants to be married to me, he loves me, he will do this this and this to make it work and fight. But then does nothing. It’s very conflicting and I am being left in limbo and don’t understand why.

We are married and when we are together the love is there and it seems genuine but as soon as we are apart and he returns to that house it changes.

I love the man I married and fell in love with, the things he has done the past 4 months isnt that man and he would be ashamed of who he is now. I don’t want to walk away from my marriage but I have nothing left to give as I have tried.

I haven’t contacted him since Thursday and he hasn’t made contact. I just feel lost and confused. As I said he is saying he wants to be with me but his actions contradict that but when I try to end it he won’t let me.

Any advice on what to do, why he is doing this and how to move forward? It’s not only hurting me but my child who he has raised her whole life that misses her dad.

I have been in No Contact with him for 5 days and haven’t heard anything from him. We haven’t broken up, we are married so how long do I leave no contact especially when he isn’t making contact either. It’s not as simple as just leave it as I am in limbo and it is a marriage. Any advice on the best way to break the no contact and when? I am really lost and just want the limbo to stop.

[patricia12]

Contact him to ask about you two attending marriage counseling.

[ally2019]

We have attended counseling previously.

He has now blocked me on everything for absolutely no reason so I am now unable to contact him.

[patricia12]

Divorce is the next step.

[Author]

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