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And you only have no chance when you approach this from a desperate position. As long as you’re confident and know your worth then who cares if he comes back. ❤️
You are so right! Thank you. I guess at the end of the day it really just comes down to me being confident and loving every moment. I am in control. He has not messaged me as to where we are meeting yet, but so what! If he wants to meet up with me, he will have to contact me. I am busy through out the day as it is!
I’ve got guys chasing after me and I’ve rejected them because I still want my ex back. I’m not telling me ex anything about what ive been up to relationship wise – that’s not his business until he is back with me
AHHHH he bailed on me today. And so I said that’s fine I’ll see you sometime later. I was indifferent towards him. I didn’t reply to the rest of his excuses and so he texted me other things. I was a bit curt to him and so I said sorry (I was in a rush due to an interview and couldn’t be bothered to deal with more Sh!t.)
He asked to see me tomorrow and I said I could see him after work but that it was up to him. I think I said the wrong thing here because I shifted the power to him.
I’m not quite sure what to do now..
Sorry. That sucks but I don’t think you’ve screwed it up.
He thinks he can bail and then you will accommodate him. You said ok but you haven’t shown up yet. Don’t text him any more.
Tomorrow during th day when you know you will be occupied AFTER you do this so you won’t be tempted to get into it with him. Text him and say something like “thank you for bailing on me last night. I mean it. I have been questioning if I really wanted to talk to you and wondering if you I wasn’t ready to move on anyway and you helped me to clearly see what the right decision is. So thank you. ”
Same effect (if not better than getting up and walking out. ? Turn your phone off or give it to someone who won’t let you answer after that. Do not be sucked in. Do not let him convince you to meet him. And that is the start of your new NC period!
I have work all of tomorrow so I’ll be preoccupied as it is 🙂
I might just continue being indifferent but definitely not initiating with him for a while. He definitely owes me for doing this… It’s super annoying and he did say that he was seriously sorry for having to bail.
I just don’t know what he wants now. Did he actually want to meet up with me or not..
he saw my last text which was “I can see you after work but that’s up to you tbh.” I seriously don’t know what to do. I want to call him today and just scream at him but that would have an adverse effect.
After work should I call him and just say “hey, we don’t have to meet up, I just want my stuff and then I’ll go.” Or does that seem desperate. I want him back but I feel like he just keeps pulling back. He might have a reason to bail on me but he didn’t make up for it, so I’m not sure what to really do. I feel a bit rejected and disappointed.
I think I already gave you advice on what to do but you either you don’t understand what I am saying or you don’t want to do it.
Go back and read my earlier post about what you should do. Send him a text (not calling) and tell him you decided it was best for it to be over. Then do nothing!!!!!!!!!!
you don’t really mean that you want it to be over but you have to make him believe it. That means no follow up. No answering texts. No nothing. He thinks he has you wrapped around his finger. If you can’t do this or something close then you shouldn’t be surprised when you stay in this state of crazy. I’m not being mean. Just honest.
I’m fine with doing no contact but is it not immature to send an angry text like that to him? I’d rather just be indifferent and act like I don’t care. i understood what you said but I’m just not 100% sure about sending a text like that – I think it shows that I was upset because of him bailing.
Is it not smarter to be the upper man and just reply in a neutral manner?
I wasn’t saying to be mean. I was saying to send a text that truly thanked him for bailing. However it would seem sincere coming from you.
I didn’t say to send “you’re an ass for bailing on me. I’m done!” OR “you jerk give me my stuff”
I said thank him for showing you that it being over is the right decision. It tells him that you are walking away.
The only other option is to do nothing at all. Don’t call him and tell him you aren’t going to meet. Just don’t meet. Don’t tell him to get your stuff. Same thing.
If you do my first suggestion he will know you are done. If you do the second he will bug you but not in a good way. You will be tempted to shut him up.
If you do anything but the thank you text you’re sucked back in.
I think I might go along with your text, sometime at the end of the day. I might say, “thanks for bailing on me again, you made my decision easier.”
The only slight issue with that, is that my friend was speaking to him behind my back about me and my ex says that we are “good friends.” I think he might be a bit confused as to what my intentions are after that text
And yes, he had actually bailed on me several times. You might wonder why I want this guy back… I’m not even sure myself but I know that if he just grew up a little bit, we would work well.
That’s true I guess. I want to see him in person and just tell him off but that’s the worst way to go about things. He seems like hes putting off seeing me and I think he’s scared for some reason. Every time he had planned to meet up with me, he gets nervous and says he wouldn’t be too happy after seeing me. Could it be that I still affect him in that way?
It’s like a two year old that doesn’t want to eat his vegetables. Yelling, screaming, crying, pleading etc doesn’t make him want to eat it. He will cry and stomp his feet and try to run away and spit it out or spit it at his mom or throw it on the floor. Force feeding it won’t get him to eat the vegetables.
Just leave him alone with the mess he’s made and see if he decides to clean it up. If not you haven’t wasted any more energy. And when you think about talking to him picture a two year old with a bowl of puréed carrots dumped over his head. At least you will start to see the humor.
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