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My ex didn’t speak to me for a couple of days and I thought something had gone wrong. Tonight I became Facebook friends with a guy he doesn’t like too much. His friends started commenting on the friendship inappropriately about untrue things and then my ex messaged me. He said it was sad that they were commenting on it and they just looked stupid. My ex ended up commenting on it too, making fun of the other boys.
Then my ex messaged me “please tell me you didn’t touch him,” to which I told him that I haven’t and I didn’t know what was happening. He then told me that guy has had several STI’s (not that I was thinking of sleeping with him). Was my ex just looking out for me or is he actually jealous? And why does he just pop up out of the blue when other guys give me attention… How can I make it so that our conversations are spurred by mutual interest instead what it is now?
Update: I’ve been speaking to my ex but it’s been rather slow. He seems like he wants to talk but I don’t even know what to do now. He replies really quickly but then I’m not too sure how to keep the conversation going when it seems like it’s dying.
Also he asked to meet up the other day but then our times were a bit conflicting. Should I let him come to me for a time again?
Oh my God! the same thing is happening to me. My ex gets jealous and it’s so clear that he is but I feel like he won’t take what is going on further. He tells my friend that he’s over me but then he asks me all these questions which shows he still actually cares about me. I’m not even sure what to do because it’s obvious that there’s still something between us… I just don’t know how to push it further along..
I’d say he is definitely jealous. Have you tried bringing up good memories from your relationship, or like reminding him of inside jokes…
Are your intentions to get him back, if so then you should meet up with him! If you have any doubts and need more time then don’t.
Yeah I actually do want to get back with him. I know I can go after other guys, but the fact is that I still think he really cares and this is why I think I have a chance. My only obstacle is trying to push my ex towards wanting a relationship with me again.
Have any ideas?
Yeah I think that’s the part i’m struggling with too, after all the time apart and then the messaging how do I get my ex to actually want a relationship again…
He is obvioulsy interested considering he was the one that initiated the meeting up. Maybe after you guys meet up you’ll have a better idea of the situation and what he wants. To make him actually want a relationship I guess you’d have to meet up a few times and make him remember the good times in your relationship so that he actually misses being in the relationship and not just you.
Thanks for your reply! I’m not sure if I should be messaging my ex anymore.. How often do you contact him? I feel like my ex knows he has a hold of me and so he’s satisfied with just keeping me there.
I’m actually really struggling to allow him to want a relationship with me. He’s super busy at the moment and doing well for himself but I’m not sure if he wants the relationship or not. Somehow I need him to chase me…
I was trying to do NC but my ex kept messaging me… i’m only a week into NC and he has messaged me three times, once the day after the break up then last night and again this morning. I am feeling the same as you, i’m worried he is satisfied with where he has got me and doesn’t want a relationship.
The key to getting him to chase you is supposed to be in the no contact, it was really working for me. I haven’t contacted him myself once and have posted pictures up on social media of me looking happy, this seemed to effect him because he messaged me soon after. But now i’m stuck like you… how do we get them to want a relationship again.
Isn’t him wanting to meet up with you him chasing you in a way?
I think no contact does not really affect my ex anymore now… Our contact is quite often and I feel like I don’t really affect him anymore. The thing is he wants to meet up because I asked when I could have my stuff back. There was about two days where he wanted to meet up genuinely to catch up… But as soon as I got back from overseas he was uninterested again.
Oh I see now, sorry I didn’t really understand before!!! You could still take the meeting as an opportunity to show your ex the positive changes you have made in your life, let him see how well you are doing because that is attractive. Have you met up at all since the break up or would this be the first time?
The fact he messaged you about that guy you added still gives me hope that he is interested because he is still protective of you, and that must mean something.
That gives me hope too! And I have actually seen him a couple of times because we have a lot of mutual friends and we usually all hang out at the same bars.
I guess all I can really do is meet up with him. We scheduled for Monday but we haven’t decided on a time. I haven’t spoken to him in 2 days and I’m not sure whether I should ask him or let him ask me…
I don’t even know how much I should be contacting him to be honest… :/
Also, thank you so much for replying so quickly to me! I really do appreciate it and even though our situations may be different, it’s comforting to know that someone out there is feeling the same things as me.
I think that it’s really normal that he pulled back again, that’s what happened to me back then! I actually asked him out for a catch up quite some months ago, he agreed and seem all excited about it, then he suddenly turned cold again, like he acted like he’s not sure if he wanna meet up anymore. That really broke my heart and pissed me off at the same time. I felt that’s the thing about guys! They’re just really afraid of commitment, maybe your ex is thinking you’ll eventually end up ‘persuading’ him back, or he’s just afraid to deal with his emotions, something like that. :/
Just remember to not give up hope. I’m happy that you said you feel so much happier as days gone by! It’s a sign you’re healing! 🙂 Stay strong <3 I feel that if you hate waiting that much just ask him. You’re in control of your own emotions. Remember when you meet up him you’re not about getting back together, not that fast. You’re just casually hangout out, and making sure the connection you share is positive and happy. Show him the new and improved you! 😀
I think the meet up will be a big gauge as to whether we can actually work this out and be together again. He did actually tell my friend he didn’t want to get back with me “anytime soon..” But in his wording, he didn’t scratch out the possibility of us being together, so that’s what I’m going to take from that.
I guess my ex and I have both had enough time to settle down our emotions. I can see that my actions still do affect him – through his jealousy, however, he will only initiate conversation with me about whether I have slept with other guys!
The only thing that bugs me is that I know there are feelings and almost a slight commitment to each other. We both haven’t had any other partners come into our lives. I’m sure it’s because he just does not feel that it’s right.. However, he will not take these feelings further.
The anytime soon comment is a good sign! Maybe he is just enjoying being single at the moment but the fact he said that is really encouraging that he can see it happening again maybe in the future.
That must be really frustrating that he will only contact you regarding other guys but at least it shows that he still does care and it is better then no contact at all I guess…
I hope the meeting goes really well for you!
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