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Hey guys, i appreciate a lot the support and caring and hard work you put in this forum.
Long story made short, i had a 2 yead realtionship, filled with adventures andjoy.
It was intense both in positive and negative ways. we’ve been through a lot, death of loved ones, diseases, a miscarriage, and all in all he was very possesive and jealous all the time. He needed to know everything about my location and activities. He often jumped to the conclusion that i may cheat even if i was missing 15 minutes.
I always showed him he was wrong and had no reason to act like that.We broke up because, litterally i prefferd the cardiology exam over him, which is huge in medicine. All i wanted was 24 to learn without interruption every 5 minutes.
We fighted for 2 weeks, i instinctively tried to apply NC rule. he called and called and i gave in after only 1 week.
It’s been 2 months and he s very vain extremely vain and sais i m no worth it. it changes his atittude every 5 minutes. he misses me, than he hates me.
He can not forgive me even it wasn’t my fault. He sais no women worts his pain.
We comunicate on a daily basis, but it diminushies day by day. he calls i don’t- it bothers him if i do… i suffocate him, beying annoying so on and so forth.It is too late 2 months after the break up to go for the NC rule?
Should i notify him or just disappear.?Well, if someone act negative towards you, you should not do the same. If you have tried to tell him that you’re going on NC, but he disrespects it, then the best you can do is cut off contact (block him, go silent etc). If he still reaches you, tell him that you need space, and if he love you, please give you the space.
You should also ask people close to both of you to help, like friends and family members in various ways, like to spend time together. For example, ask them to accompany him for distraction, or talk to him, to give you time. If you want this to work, make sure you go to the right person that you can trust. In the same time, take the opportunity to relax and enjoy your self.
All the best.
This guy sounds VERY controlling. Add unfounded jealousy on top of that and there’s potential for disaster. Please be careful.
Thank you One_Love
I never thought of asking a mutual friend to care for him and go out with him. The problem is we don’t have to many genuine friends left. Actualy we were so much publicly exposed when we’re togheter, many people actualy envied or even hated us, considering us too “showing off”; and the others we’re disappointed because they we’re neglected by us. on top of all that he’s picky with friends and he mostly call them aquaintaces rather than a few friends he would trust.
I ll try to find one person because the ideea sounds awesome to me.Thanks a lot, Patricia12
I will take care, he is controlling indeed,mostly since things started going roughly between the two of us. He has a lot of childhood trauma and a very low selfesteem, hidden under a huge ego.
He is very bright,a doctor to be and we’ve both been models.
So no need for the insecurity.I tried and in part i succeeded to get him to a counseillor but he soon relapsed.
Actually i m in a little bit of a dilema because when the other day i wanted to start NC – he said he’s around my house and if i d like to meet.
Actualy i said yes- we met about 5 minutes – he acted a little bit cold . Told me that he wanted to take me to a restaurant – and then said i m really ugly dressed and start critizing.
After that he told me that i m nice dressed. He brought me a wrist watch, altough the fact i told him not to bring me anything.
And after he just runed away like he was afraid of me.
should i try again the Nc even the given situation?
Probably he felt guilty. Eventually he will understands when the situation forces him to.
You know what’s best. All the best.
I don’t know maybe not guilt but a little dependency. He can t sleep until he talks to me or at least text me.
I admit i m no good either – i respond and tend to freak out when i don’t know he is ok- but i m not compulsory about it like he is.is like he comes to take a little bit of a drug – but he hates the drug and still he wants it.that’s how he acts.
everyone around me tell s me Nc won’t work because already been 2 months and all it remaind is the dependency and the fact that i would cut it, will liberate him.
i don’ t want a relationship based only on addiction-but NC WOULD STILL WORK?
i m twisting and turning about this..My gosh! He degraded you by criticizing what you were wearing and he’s controlling and possessive. He kept tabs on you constantly. He often demonstrated unfounded jealousy. He often swings from being cruel and hurtful to being nice. Can you honestly say you were happy in that kind of relationship? It doesn’t matter how smart he is or how attractive. He has psychological issues and might need professional counseling. If you want to, look up “Controlling Behaviors”. Take good care of yourself and maybe re-think as to whether or not this would be a good relationship for you in the long run. His behaviors may even get worse over time. Wishing you the best..
Patricia you’re totally right, but those kind of things never happened before, and i blamed the situation, the hurt, the ego..
Actualy he is very changed, it wasn’t like that before. He was insecure and jelous but never mean, cruel and hurtful. I actually hope he would get over this phase. That’s why i’m still around. If the things go the way they were before i would be happy, we were good balanced together.
Given the situation, i’m not sure about NC…
But you didn t apply the N/C at all ;it was interrupted , u are still talking and he his treating you bad !!(he can t sleep if he doesn t talk to you ?)
apply the N/C so he won t sleep then and realize how importan u are .
Serioulsy he needs to understand.
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