I’m scared I’ll never talk to him again

[Elle1991]

I was with my ex for 7 years from the age of 16. We have had an up and down, on and off relationship throughout that time. At the beginning I was young and I played games and dumped him and got him back just because I could. I grew up and realised after too many times of doing that he gave up bothering and that is the day I realised how much I loved him!

Ever since then he has worn the trousers and roles have reversed and I am the needy partner. I have tried letters, cards on birthdays/Christmas/anniversaries, gifts in the past. I emailed because he has blocked my number because he said I had harassed him by going on and on which he says drives him nuts and makes him “give in”. I want him to be with me because he wants to not because he gives in to my constant behaviour.

I treat his parents as my own as I am not close to mine and I do not have really many friends and who are my friends do not really show they care. He can be the kindest sweetest person but he can also be so nasty! He is very independent and likes to be with his friends and go out at the weekends and rather than me saying “that’s fine I’ll see you when your next free”, I go on and on moaning that I never see him which I feel I don’t.
I tried the no contact rule however only lasted two weeks I went round with chocolates out of the blue saying how I just wanna be friendly and wanted to congratulate him on his new job he didn’t answer the door but unblocked me and rang me 5 times throughout the evening. He told me he didn’t want me and then text me saying he had unblocked me and I didn’t reply and he rang me saying I unblocked you I thought u would reply which is just games? He called me several times repeating that he wanted me to leave him alone. He said we can be friends in time but when he’s ready. He told me that he had met someone whilst on a night out and had been talking to them and to not try and find out who she is and ruin things. He said if things don’t work out with other people then we may get back together. My worst fears of the no contact rule happened and he talking to someone else. He unblocked me and put a picture of him and his friend with two girls on his what’s app. I found out this picture was innocent and these girls had boyfriends and were on a night out with a group of girls and I assume he put that up and took it down to upset me. I do not know if he said he talking to someone else to upset me and make him leave him alone or because he generally has.

We booked with his family to go to America and he said he has cancelled that and was taking a friend. He told me if I don’t leave him alone he will call the police and get me done for harassment. He has had a tough time as his nan died and other things have happened in the last few months and I thought this was why he was acting this way but if he has moved on that quickly (who knows if he is lying just so I leave him alone) then that just shows I really didn’t mean much. I don’t wanna stop talking to his parents but I don’t know if that could make things worse I’m just scared he won’t come back. I’m loosing weight trying to show what he’s missing and making myself feel good but I’m worried I’ll never hear from him because he does have a lovely side to him but at the moment he’s not showing that. I’m just scared I’ll never hear from him again and that would break me because he’s my best friend!

[Nightly]

Follow the program. So no contact for quite some time. Give him time and space. Meanwhile really improve yourself. You already listed some bad behavior. You might attract him if you fix that.

Also ask yourself why you play games with him. This can be your subconscious telling you he isn’t the one for you, but you very likely are too afraid to live as a single. In fact, you never lived as a single if you’ve been with him since age 16.

[Author]

Posts